Author's notes: It's been since 2011 since I last wrote a Twilight fanfic. That's because I've moved on and got interested in other things, but I was reading some of my old fics and I was like "I'm going to surprise people and write a short story. So I hope you like it. I probably won't write another Twilight fic after this one. In the beginning, it references my "Crazy Cullen" fanfic. Takes place way before Breaking Dawn.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and I don't own Star wars. I make no money off this. I write this for hilarity and riot.
May The Cullens Be With You
"There is no emotion, there is peace," Emmett said in a meditative pose, dressed as Jedi Knight, reciting the Jedi Code. his family looked at him, eyes rolling. First it was the Harry Potter stage and now it's the Star Wars stage. At least he stopped calling Edward "Cedric" and that was an improvement.
After meditating for what seemed forever, but really was just five minutes, he got up and felt calm. Then slowly, he turned to his siblings and grinned. Alice giggled a little at what she saw and Edward gaped as he looked at Alice for confirmation.
"You'll be doing it," Alice assured him. Edward sighed. "Go ahead, Emmett, tell them what your plan is." Emmett rubbed his hands together, left and came back several moments later holding two more realistic Jedi outfits equipped with lightsabers that has the plastic blades that extends when you flicked it with your hand.
"It's supposed to cloudy with a chance of rain in seattle tomorrow, so we're going to dress up as Jedi Knights and walk through seattle as if we're on a mission looking for Sith Lords." Emmett said proudly.
"No." Edward said, plain and clear, "I'm not doing it. No way, no how." Emmett looked at Alice with a knowing look, then looked at Edward again.
"Bella is going too. She, Rosalie and Alice agreed to be the Sith Lords." Edward groaned. If Bella was going to partake in this little misadventure, he might as well partake as well. Jasper was quiet through all this for the longest time. He was trying to figure out how Emmett talked the girls into dressing up in all black Sith robes, when Alice spoke up.
"Shopping trip," was all she said and Jasper understood it. Emmett had bribed them with a shopping trip, "and a gift card to the bookstore for Bella." Jasper nodded.
"We leave at 6:30 in the morning sharp. Bella should be here soon to spend the night," Emmett said.
Early the next morning, they doned on their Star wars costumes, they took two separate cars. Girls in one, the guys in another. That was so they would actually have to search each other out, though they would be in the general vicinity of Pike Place Market.
The guys arrived at their destination in just under three hours. That gave them time to plan their movements, though they constantly came up with multiple plans and decisions to throw Alice off. Once they received a text that the girls were in town, they set off.
If vampires could blush, Edward's face would be red, but he decided to do this because Bella was brave enough to play along. The trio received stares as they walked through the market. A little boy about 6 or 7 ran up to them and tugged on Emmett's pant leg.
"Are you a real Jedi?" He asked, his hazel eyes wide and innocent. Emmett smiled and winked at the boy, then patted his head very gently and went with his brothers. The three could hear the boy whispered in disbelief, "wow."
"I made his day," Emmett said, cheerful about it, "every child should believe in their dreams."
"Did you believe in your dreams?" Jasper asked, hiding a grin from his face as he walked. He was anxious to get this over with and get away from all the humans. He licked his lips and Edward glanced at him. I'm fine. Jasper thought to Edward and received a small nod in return.
"Hmm, not really. My mother had always said I was too tall for clown school, ya know?" Emmett grinned. His brother's chuckled.
Meanwhile, the girls were taking their time, looking at vendors and Bella bought a few trinkets for her "adopted" brothers and Edward. Alice had helped pick something out for Jasper.
"How much longer will this little game go on? This outfit isn't that flattering," Rosalie complained. "We need to find the guys, defeat their jedi asses and claim victory for the darkside."
Bella chuckled, "you mean find the guys and go home?" Rosalie grinned. It was rare that She and Bella got along, but it did happen and this was a nice bonding time with the three of them.
The same little boy saw the three and recognized them as sith and ran up, "are you really sith? Cus if you are, there are jedi that way!" he pointed in the direction. The girls exchanged glances, glad they were close by.
"Fantastic! We've been looking for them! We've travelled halfway across the universe in search of these jedi." Alice said, winking at Bella and Rosalie.
"How come?" The boy asked, "Jedi are good."
"They are our sworn enemies, they must be defeated," Bella said, her hand reaching towards her dinky plastic lightsaber. The boy gasped then ran to his parents.
"Way to scare him, Bella," Rosalie told her. Bella just shrugged
"Just trying to get into the role of a Sith Lord. Just call me Darth Swan" The other's just gaped at her before laughing.
"Yes, as if that'll instill fear in everyone," Alice said, still laughing.
Emmett saw the girls first and hurried up to them, his lightsaber drawn, "you Sith! In the name of the Galactic Republic, stop where you are!" Everyone turned to the group as they stood outside in the middle of the market street.
"Jedi scum, you will regret you ever crossed us." Bella said, "For I am Darth Swan." She flicked her wrist and the red blade came out of it's hilt. The girls charged the Jedi, and a duel was on. Edward took on Bella while Jasper and Emmett took on Alice and Rosalie respectively.
A crowd formed around them, some were even cheering for the Jedi, some for the Sith. Edward knocked the lightsaber out of Bella's hands and pointed the blade at her neck. Bella growled as menacing as she could, but she was captured and forced to her knees.
Jasper and Alice were going at it, as if they had dueled a thousand times before, but Jasper sent out waves and lethargy towards Alice. She felt tired suddenly, as if all the energy was drained out of her. She was still graceful in her movements, but slower. Finally Jasper had grabbed her wrist and gently twisted it, making her let go of the saber. He took her next to Bella and helped Edward keep guard.
Bella leaned over and whispered to Alice, "I thought we were going to win. Isn't that what you saw?"
"They tricked me, it seems. They were constantly changing their minds on their gameplay. So UNFAIR!" She pouted.
Rosalie wasn't going to give up, she'd "avenge" her "fallen" sith companions, and fought back harder. Emmett didn't let up either.
SNAP! Emmett looked at his green plastic blade and saw it had snapped in half, broken from the force of the blows. While he was distracted, Rosalie brought her foot around his feet. He fell on his back and let out a gasp for air and laid there. He saw Rosalie point her blade at him.
"I yield!" He said, sad about his lightsaber.
"No, you're dead." Rosalie said, smirking. After a few moment.s the group got up and walked away as if anything never happened. Rosalie wrapped her arm around Emmett's arm.
"That was so much fun. We should do it again." Emmett said, plotting the next adventure. He received a head slap from Rosalie. "What was that for?"
"To stop you from planning another one of these stupid things. I can't wait to get out of these clothes and burn them."
"No! You can't burn them." Emmett said.
"Oh, how come?" Alice asked.
"I need them for later," He said, "just in case."
There wouldn't be a later. The group became an internet sensation since someone recorded the whole thing and put it on youtube. Carlisle was fairly irritated by this. His goal is not to bring attention to the family. He made Emmett promise that he'd not pull another stunt like that again. The Jedi and Sith were forced to retire.
"Edward?" Bella asked. Edward turned to her, "you were a sexy Jedi."
"You were a beautiful Sith." He replied and kissed her forehead, "But you know what amazed me more?" Bella shook her head, "the fact that you didn't fall down on your face." Bella gave him her best Sith glare.
The end.
A/N: Okay, it's not my best. It's stupid. Probably a lot of grammar mistakes. I tried to make it funny, but meh, I don't think I did a good job. Review please, I promise to give you cookies.