Disclaimer: I do not own death note.

A/N: sorry for the slow update. A LOT has happened that I kinda don't wanna get into…

Letters

"Dear Matt. No, wait, there is no "dear" about this letter. We both know exactly why I'm writing this letter. Today is the day. I knew it was coming, we both did. It had too. In fact I don't know why I didn't see it coming. It is really the only possible way for this to work. What "this" is, I'm still not exactly sure.

Do you remember, back at Wammy's, if we were too tired to talk about our day, and sometimes even when we weren't, we'd leave letters outside the door of our room for the other person? They explained our day, things we couldn't tell the other in person, and things of that nature. I would like to restart that.

I remember how it was one of those letters that brought us together. You came in, and were observing my signature.

"Your "m" looks better than your ass." You had said. I didn't know how you made the comparison, as we never acted in that way towards each other before, even though I had had to stop myself on numerous occasions.

"Wanna bet?" I had replied. And I just couldn't help myself, so I then grabbed your hand and put it there. And no, I did not miss that really adorable blush of yours. I love that blush. Always have.

The letters we wrote that night…they make me smile thinking about them. Confessions. That's what they were; we couldn't say it to each other in person, so we wrote it down.

I also remember, how you couldn't sit right, for two days, and I had to wear long sleeve shirts for a week to hide the nail marks. But, then again, we were new to it, as it was both our first times, but, I just wanted more. I couldn't get enough of you…

But, now sitting here, writing this, I want to tell you something. Two things actually. The first, I have only told you once, and the last, I have only told you twice. The first is that Mail Jeevas, I love you. I don't just mean I love you; I mean I truly, with all of my heart and soul, love you.

The second, I will not let pride stand in my way to tell you this time. I'm sorry. Yes, you saw it right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for every time I took out my anger on you. Every time I yelled at you for being late with my chocolate. Every hit, intentional or not. For breaking your play station in the fourth grade. I am sorry for leaving you to chase after Kira. I didn't want you to get caught up in the life I knew I was going to have to live.

Look at were it's gotten me now. Remember the plan is for you to get in and get the fuck out. We both know what will become of me, but I simply refuse to drag you down with me.

By the time you read this letter, you will already be on your way to help kidnap Takada. I think, that if I'm going to die, I might as well drag that bitch down with me. Remember, I'm sorry, and I love you.

Love,

Miheal Keehl"

Matt had been reading the letter through clenched teeth. It did nothing to stop the tears from forming and falling, staining the page. So that was what Mello was doing when he came home. Matt had meant to ask what Mello was hiding when the blond hastily hide what ever it was, but then Mello smiled and it was all over for him. It was their last night together; Matt figured they'd enjoy it. And enjoy it they did.

The letter confirmed what they both already knew, but never said. Matt had planned on not wearing his goggles, hey who cares about the world seeing his face at this point? But now his eyes were red and puffy, so, he had too.

Mello had even used their real names! In that split second, Matt, Mail Jeevas, had a plan. He slipped his goggles on, letting one last tear fall, slowly turned back, set the car to drive, and backed out of the alley. "I guess this is goodbye." The words echoed through his head. I guess this is goodbye.

A/N: I thought I kind of owed them one from Mello's point of view too, ya know?