He Must Be Magic
"You sing so well," Shinji murmurs, listening to the melody of his voice.
"It's not singing. There are no words."
"Oh." He flushes in the dark. Well, he knew that. It was just that he couldn't think of anything else to say, and though it would have been easier to just keep quiet, he had wanted to say something.
To Kaoru. It's odd. Kaoru actually makes him want to talk. How does he do that…?
He must be magic.
"I'm sorry," Shinji says softly.
Although they've turned the lights out to sleep, it's still illuminated enough for Shinji to see the smile Kaoru turns on him then.
"Don't apologise," he replies. "It's nothing to be sorry about."
Maybe he'll start yelling now, just like Asuka. She tells him that he shouldn't say he's sorry, so then he says he's sorry for saying he's sorry, so she yells more. She makes his head hurt.
Though maybe now she'll never yell at him again. After all, Kaoru is here to replace her.
Kaoru is not like her, however. He's calm and kind, with hair like the moon and eyes like the sun. Such a strange contrast – Shinji has only ever seen one other person who looks like him, and her name is Rei Ayanami. He's so strange, Kaoru; he must be, because he said he loved Shinji…
Surely anybody normal is incapable of that?
Shinji meets his gaze for a moment before turning away to bury his face in the pillow. Kaoru has such an odd effect on him – he feels that he can't talk to him, not because he doesn't want to talk to him, but because he feels shy. The way Kaoru looks at him makes him blush and avert his gaze. The way he smiles makes his stomach twist itself into a tight little knot.
"I think I was born to meet you," Kaoru said. He said that a while ago now. Maybe over an hour ago. They're still awake, though, both of them, so they just lie here in a silence punctuated only by Kaoru's soft, lovely humming.
He asked Shinji what the tune was – not as though he didn't know himself, but as though he wanted to be sure that Shinji knew.
The Ode to Joy, incidentally.
"Did you mean it?" Shinji asks suddenly, the words rushed and said into the pillow.
"Did I mean what?" Kaoru replies languidly.
"When… you said… you know, about…" Shinji clutches tighter at the pillow. "Never mind."
"No, tell me." Kaoru's voice is playful – almost teasing. "Please?"
"Well…" Shinji pauses a moment more, then glances upwards at the silver-haired boy. "…When you asked if… we would be going to bed together…"
"Of course I meant it." Kaoru leans over the side of the bed down towards him. "Why? Have you changed your mind? I can come down there if you want."
"No." Shinji smiles faintly at him. "That's alright. I just wanted to know if… if you meant it."
"Hmm." Kaoru gives him a wry smile in return. "Well, I won't force myself on you, then. I did mean it, though. If you change your mind, let me know."
"W-well… I don't know you very well…"
"Oh, that's your only problem?" Kaoru seems rather pleased with himself now. "Rain check, then. Maybe when you know me better…?"
Shinji pauses.
"Maybe," he replies faintly.
"I'll hold you to it."
"Okay."
Kaoru props himself up on his elbows, smiling down at Shinji from his lofty position.
"I mean it."
"I said okay."
"Okay then." Kaoru still grins at him; eventually Shinji can no longer hold his gaze, his face flushing a deeper red again, and he rolls over away from him. "You're such a wonderful person, Shinji Ikari," he hums; almost to the tune of the Ode to Joy.
"Don't say that," Shinji murmurs, curling up as though to protect himself.
"You are. I love you. I really do."
"Don't. Please don't say that…"
"But how can I help but say it? It's like a song to me – my love for you. You're such a wonderful person. I just want to keep you all for myself. That's what love is, isn't it?"
"…I don't know."
"My love for you is my ode to joy—"
"How can you say that?!" Shinji cries suddenly, almost in tears; he rises to face Kaoru – and maybe that's proof enough that this boy makes him feel differently. Shinji would never raise himself to face Asuka or Misato or his father like this…
Kaoru expression is still that unmoving smile.
"Because I love you," he says (even though it's not really an answer).
"You say that too much," Shinji says, and he sinks back to the futon on Kaoru's floor.
Kaoru gives an amused little smile and says nothing for a while; lets Shinji think it's safe to pretend to be asleep. After a while he slips lightly from his own bed and down next to him, getting under the covers with him and wrapping his arms around him from behind. Shinji goes a bit rigid in his grip, as though to prevent himself from being sucked into Kaoru's embrace completely.
"I'm not going to do anything," Kaoru whispers. "I just want to hold you."
"Alright," Shinji replies quietly; and he relaxes again, his small body falling against the shape of Kaoru's.
He falls asleep like that, in the arms of another – even though he doesn't like to be touched.
It must be something about this Kaoru Nagisa.
He must be magic.
This was written for AutumnDynasty – basically she scammed me into it. O.o She asked me to write KaoruxShinji and at first I was all like "...whine", because although they're practically a canon pairing, the fact that Kaoru is in Eva for something like thirteen minutes makes it hard to insert slashy situations…
But I got there eventually. Sort of. Heh.
AutumnDynasty noted that the "magic" motif seems a little OOC for Eva, which focuses more on the themes of science and religion – but I guess that actually works, since Kaoru notably had a completely different effect on Shinji than anyone else did, so the fact that he's "magic", being a completely different medium to science, could actually have some ground.
Eh, I dunno. Evangelion FTW, though! :)