A\N Hello! Here I am, a yaoi obsessed fangirl with my first story! I hope you enjoy, and if you do, please leave a review to make me know!
"So what does that mean, Sasuke?" Naruto hissed out, tired and worn out, bearing a decade full of nothing more on his shoulders.
"Is it done?"
Naruto looked at him accusingly, hurt and volatile and tough, and he demanded an answer, for the first and the last time. An answer, to determine where to go and what to do, because Naruto was too enervated and dizzy to keep track by himself, had been for a very long time.
"It doesn't have to be done." Sasuke said as he continued scribbling at his documents.
"I never said anything about being done."
"No. For the last time Sasuke, I won't be your dirty little whore that you keep in your bed! You have to make up your mind!"
Sasuke was due attending a government reception in less than three hours, welcoming the new comers to the parliament and taking his place as the minister of internal affairs squarely to the prime minister's right. Only one chair left, Naruto thought, only one chair left for Sasuke to conquer.
It had been hard enough to hide their farce of a relationship for this long, ever since Sasuke had first been admitted to parliament. After the grand economic plummet Japan had experienced five years ago that saw most ministers resigning and the elder befuddled, Japan's government had seen the salvation in changing the old with the new and welcoming younger minds. Sasuke, with more names to drop than anyone and his Uchiha heritage in his tow, had been one of the obvious candidates to win. He had unpretentiously started off as one of the newbies and subtly worked his way up, making alliances with more experienced politicians and taking full advantage of his clan's resources, rising first to the ministry of culture and as of two days ago, the ministry of internal affairs.
It was only then that Naruto understood, when they sent Sasuke two invitations to the reception and Sasuke swiftly shredded one into pieces, that he wasn't a piece of this new life. Generally he would go along, under the guise of being the heir to Senju Hospitals by adoption, since Tsunade almost always got an invitation to most receptions and just as often decided not to bother.
And reality, with it's painful and fragile clarity downed on him; the fright of public displays of affection, why Sasuke never told anyone what they were, why he always called their relationship "it" as if he thought it didn't exist when not given the proper meaning. Naruto had let it happen, he knew, he had let it happen to stay close to Sasuke, to be able to love him.
Up until that moment Naruto had thought they were real.
"We're done, Sasuke, we- it, whatever it was. We're done."
Pain evident in his heart and his mind a snapped mess, Naruto made to go out of the room, grabbing his obnoxiously orange coat on his way, when a hand pulled him back by the shoulder. Before he knew what was happening there were cold lips against his and hands on his neck, trailing down his back in sweet, torturous lines and circles, while Sasuke's tongue was swiftly travelling all over the inside of Naruto's mouth.
"You don't want to end," Sasuke said between hurriedly taken breaths, "You don't want to end."
"No, we- I'm not your whore."
His protests were forgotten as Sasuke's hand went under his pants and got replaced by curses instead. Sasuke's hand went up and down the length of his penis, with the occasional lick to the head and the tease, having Naruto clutching the carpet in pleasure. He stopped every few seconds to kiss Naruto, on the lips, on the neck, anywhere he could get his hands on and leave a mark.
This is wrong, Naruto screamed in his head, this is wrong, wrong, wrong.
"Oh God, I love you, Sasuke."
And he did, he loved Sasuke, had for twenty years, would for another twenty, and never regret inhaling the drug that was him, the alluring pain or the overwhelming pleasure.
He came with a moan of his lover's name, and thank God Sasuke hadn't yet changed into his black suit and tie, because Naruto would have ruined it. Sasuke carefully zipped up his trousers and smiled at him in that arrogant, cockily proud way of his, because he knew that he was right, and so did Naruto.
He didn't want to end.
Careful not to look at Sasuke's eyes Naruto picked up the coat that had been abandoned on the floor, and held the door handle for a brief second before glancing back.
"We're never doing this again, Sasuke. You, me- whatever we were, it's done."
He stepped out without looking back, almost picturing the smirk on Sasuke's face before he shut the door.
It started years ago, when Naruto made a stupid, stupid mistake.
"I love you," he said, like he would so many more times, and that was all it took to get lips to cover his and hands to hold him, to want to feel him. They were just kids back then, trying to tug off each other's clothes and messing up, inexperience making them hastily aggressive and inefficient at best. Naruto wouldn't have had it any other way.
Biting and sucking, both left the most evidence they could on the other's body as they continued to own each other, leaving traces of themselves. Or perhaps that was only Naruto and his vulnerability mistaking Sasuke's possessiveness to be passion, and that was the start of everything going wrong, very wrong.
They didn't have any access to lube; neither had come prepared for the heated sex they were having, not with Naruto steeling himself for rejection. He did the thing he always did, improvised, and without long he had reached his bag for the moisturizer within it. Sasuke was relentlessly kissing him, tongue so far down his throat and hands reaching so many places Naruto hadn't known about that he felt like a stranger to his own body. All clothes came off, leaving nothing but Sasuke's pristine skin under his much darker shade, with the developing muscles beneath visible and his chest clenching in anticipation. Sasuke started trailing his hands along the bruises he had left on Naruto, while Naruto prepared to push in, and eventually did.
Sasuke didn't need to give an okay or stop signal, simply because Naruto knew his body and the way it worked so well, and he guided himself with the flexing of Sasuke's muscles. He gradually started to move, eliciting the first scream from Sasuke that night, while also stroking Sasuke's own member whenever he hit that spot in him and made him jerk.
He got faster and faster as he pounded into Sasuke, both their screams mixing together into one in perfect harmony, until they reached their peaks.
"I love you." He repeated into Sasuke's ear, God knows how many times, to make sure he heard, to make sure he knew.
That night, Naruto slept next to Sasuke, giving no mind to not having heard a declaration of love back.
He cooked breakfast the next morning, waking up at his usual, monstrously early hour, and not wanting to wake Sasuke. It was raining, a storm obviously coming closer with every bolt of thunder, and Naruto wondered how a day so beautiful could have weather so brooding.
Sasuke got up a few minutes later, with a tousled head and a bare chest, sitting down almost reflexively to claim his tomato omelet like he had so many times before when Naruto had felt festive enough to barge into his apartment and wake him up. They ate in silence, Naruto humming quietly to the melody of a catchy song as he drank his orange juice and eyed Sasuke.
"It was good." Sasuke said, paying Naruto little attention as his eyes concentrated on his newspaper and mouth on his coffee.
"Well, princess, I-"
"You liked it, and I did too. We could do this, no feelings, no strings attached."
It was only for a moment that Naruto let his confusion get the best of him before the anger kicked in full force and erupted.
"Are you kidding me, bastard? Bit too late for that, don't you think, with me loving you?"
Sasuke didn't bother to grace Naruto with an answer until his hand came crashing into the table, forcing him to look him in the eye.
Naruto didn't see regret. He didn't see love.
Something broke, with audible sound, in his head.
"It could get complicated, Sasuke." He said, a desperate plea to get him to change his mind, maybe decide that there was a speck of love in him for Naruto, that he mattered more than a carnal need, but he didn't get it.
"It won't," Sasuke said as he took another sip, "It won't."
The finality in his voice was deafening, the silence that followed impossible to break. Naruto couldn't say a word, couldn't move for a while, as he slowly deciphered the meaning and continued to fall and fall in his mental world, drowning in the decision.
Naruto stayed a few more seconds until the world suddenly became too much to bear and he set off to leave. Sasuke didn't turn to stop him.
He sank down right after he got out, slowly falling to his knees with his back to the door, and internally thanked the rain for disguising his tears.
It all went back to normal after that, at least in other people's eyes. They never really stopped being the explosive best friends that never admitted to it, and Naruto's smile never faltered. High school was most definitely not where the most observant of people gathered, anyway.
Of course, like with everything, Naruto knew how to turn the obvious negatives of his arrangement with Sasuke into ones more bearable, like the liberty of leaving things in his apartment, invading his personal space with excuses and slowly integrating himself into his life, to the point where they became one very different thing under the disguise of friendship, and Naruto was left thankfully unable to distinguish between what they had and love.
If he could keep Sasuke, it was worth it. If he could whisper love in Sasuke's ear every night, it was more than that.
All went back to normal except one very little secret.
When he got home Naruto quickly and aggressively tugged off all his clothes to step in the shower, a hot, boiling shower, to think properly and to let the slight pain turn into fierce clarity.
What was so different now, than it had been through all those other years he had spent hidden? Oh but he knew, he knew that now, Sasuke's image would be under public scrutiny, that Sasuke couldn't be found sleeping around with just anyone anymore, lest he wanted a scandal. He had eyes on the seat of the prime minister, and Sasuke just wasn't one to let go easily.
Nothing was different, except he had woken up.
Before, he had been hiding from Sasuke's family; from the potential humiliation and disgrace of being attracted to a man would bring Sasuke, and the look in Uchiha Fugaku's disappointed eyes. He had been hiding from his friends, simply because Sasuke wasn't ready, and he didn't give it enough meaning to announce anything, or to name it. Sasuke had done everything in his power to ensure word never got out, and Naruto had let him, because even falsely owning Sasuke was too good to give up, and he hadn't managed to shut the door before. He had lived with the hope that maybe, maybe Sasuke would come to realize it hurt, or maybe came to love years later, countless maybe's and if's.
Not anymore. Not since Sasuke had made it obvious that he was something to be ashamed of, a secret to hide and sweep under the bed to let collect dust and stay forgotten.
Not like Sasuke had said or done anything to imply otherwise before. Naruto had simply chosen to believe it.
Breathing became excruciating for a minute as he closed his eyes.
Maybe he would call. Maybe Sasuke would, and maybe this was just the last exit before the highway.
He soullessly got out, throwing clothes on without a care and settling in bed to flick through the channels, placing his phone right next to him, where he could see it effortlessly.
He flicked from cartoon to soap opera and documentaries as hours passed and before he knew it, midnight came. There was simply nothing entertaining to watch, and Naruto contemplated the thought of sleep for a brief second, right before the news came on.
He saw Sasuke, shaking hands with everyone, sitting where he belonged, among others like him that had so much more to offer than he did, and he saw him smile. It wasn't real, Naruto knew it wasn't, but Sasuke had gone through the trouble of faking it.
Naruto took one more look at his phone before a red mist came over him, and the phone was thrown at full speed to his wall, crashing hard into it and falling gracelessly to the floor.
A day, a reception, Cosmopolitans and glasses of champagne later, Sasuke decided to try calling Naruto, to see if he was still upset.
Naruto didn't answer.
TBC