yeah i thought you would. i guess i'm here to catch you up on whats been
happening in my wild and twisted life, so with out further ado, here you
have it, completely uncut, my life.
I'd been living with the newsies for six months, it was a peaceful life,
even if privacy was something to be disired not received. i was a
completely different person from the one i had been. same goes for my
brother johhny, the squirt's grown up some, like as soon as we were away
from Frank, he knew he could be himself, i discovered that my little
brother, now known as chugger-due to the fact that at 9, he can chug more
saspirilla then race-was a cool kid. we were not the same people we had
been and we were reveling in the pure pleasure of the fact. i was still
going out with Spot, he'd come down from Brooklyn every few days to see me
and we'd have a grand old time.
"Raven are you coming or what the papes will be gone by the time we get
there" Dutchy yelled up the stairs breaking into my train of thought, just
as well i was probably boring you. i ran down the stairs "i'm heah i'm heah"
i said grabbing his hat off his head, "why're you in such a rush?' i asked
"you wanna go meet georgia" i teased this him.
Dutchy is still my best friend, i wouldn't be surprised if he stays my best
friend forever. he was someone who i could talk to and like this moment in
time-tease, and watch him turn red with embarrasment, i know he likes
Georgia, just like he knows i liked spot, we could laugh about these things
'ahhh shut up and give me my hat" he said grinnig sheepishly i laughed, i
was just becoming accustomed to hearing my own laughter, it was a noise i
never thought i'd know, same goes for chugger, i think i get more joy out of
hearing that kid laugh then most anything in the world. anyway i threw
Dutchy his hat back and we walked to the distribution center to buy our
papes. there were very few newsies still wandering around, we were kinda
late, but we didn't mind much. i saw Blink and his girlfriend Patch and
walked over calling out to Dutchy "i'll see you at lunch" then grabbed Patch
and we headed off. Patch was a good friend of mine, a real pretty girl, the
type that blink fell for instantly, only difference was he stayed with her
longer then the two weeks he did all the other girls he met, i was trully
starting to beleive that his fantisies of the mayors daughter were begining
to receed.
*********************************************************************
we walked down the road, talking and laughing doing our regular stuff, which
basically was nothing. we both worked at Irving hall during the nights
three times a week, serving drinks and such. we were walking down a back
alley when i saw someone at the far end. the girl looked so familiar and as
we got nearer i gasped drawing attention to myself. i was standing 10 feet
away from my sister. she stood there for a second then turned on her heel
and ran away. "oh shit" i mumbled. "what?" patch asked "oh shit, i am so
dead" i started running towards Tibbys praying Dutchy would be there. i ran
through the door, and stood in the doorway gasping for breath looking around
frantically. i spotted him in a booth far back in the resturant drinking
saspirilla and reading the paper. i ran over there still trying not to pass
out and threw myself in the booth. "raven!" he exclaimed "whats wrong?" i
couldn't breath, i was panicing, i couldn't move, it was fright, i was
scared, i was never scared, but i didn't want to go back to frank's it was
different when i didn't know what i was missing, i couldn't go back, i
couldn't..."saw someone and took off running" i looked up it was patch,
she'd followed me and was trying to tell dutchy what was wrong. "raven?,
raven?, RAVEN!" he yelled grabbing my shaking hand "who was it, who did you
see?" i looked at him like i didn't reconize him, 'i wont go back, i wont"
i whispered feircly "wont go back where?" he asked patiently, i guess cause
it wasn't every day i flaked out like this "Frank's, Dutchy i wont go back,
i wont" i was shaking, and i couldn't stop. "Frank?" he asked "your
father?, why would you have to go back i thought they left NY" he said. "i
saw jamie dutchy, they're back and she knew it was me...i gotta leave, i
can't go back, i can't, i wont" he stood up dragging me with him 'lets go
to the lodging house" he said. he had to lead me there, i was blind with
fright,and for a moment the fear of not seeing took over the fear of going
back to that hell hole. i stopped dead in my tracks "chugger!" i yelled
"where is he?!" "he's with jack and les" dutchy said "he's fine, you know
jack wont let anything happen to him" "right, with cowboy" i said. why was
i acting so stupid, everything was fine. and yet i knew, it wasn't.
**********************************************************************
we some how made it to the lodging house in one piece. no one was there yet
except Kloppman who was in the back and didn't notice us come in. we went
upstairs and he sat me down on my bunk, sitting next to me, still holding my
hand. "where'd patch go?" i asked feeling dizzy and disoreinted. "to tell
medda you wouldn't be there tonight" he said "no" i said standing up "i have
to go, i have to, medda's counting on me" "Raven" he said pulling back into
a sitting position, "you are in no condition to be working, now common we
really need to talk" i looked at him "ok, lets talk" i took a deep breath,
trying to calm down, "ok how do you know your family is back? maybe Jamie
ran away" "no, jamie is too much of a wuss to run away, besides frank never
touched her, only me" i said 'i'm fine now, dutchy, really i am, i'm sorry
for flaking on you,...really i'm fine" he didn't beleive me, and i didn't
blame him. "your still not working tonight" he said. "but..."
"no, you have to stay here where you're safe, at least till we check it out"
"ok" i complied "i'll stay"
we spent the rest of the day playing poker, betting cigerettes. i was
supossed to be quitting for spot, but when ever i was nervous i smoked. i
guess thats how everyone knew something was wrong when they came home and
saw me sitting on my bed smoking my winnings.
"heya pal" race said sitting next to me "anything wrong?"
"no nothing cept my whole life's about to fall apart" i said sarcastically.
"where's chugger?" i asked before he could question my response.
"i'm right here" he said coming in with jack "hey raven look what i got
three new marbles" he came over and showed them to me, they were dirty and
scratched, hardly new, but to him they were worth all the world.
"your staying here tonight alright kiddo?" I said
"but Raven i was supposed to go to Les's..."
"don't argue with me, i'm yer older sister"
"but raven, hey your smokin ravin, you never smoke unless somethings wrong,
whats wrong?" bright kid he was.
"nothing i just need to you here tonight, we'll play poker, maybe les can
come here" i said "how bout that dave?" i asked
"that should be fine" he said, "i'll go home and get him" he knew something
was up, lucky for me they all trusted me enough to know i didn't act like
this for no reason.
"alright" i said at the smiling Chugger 'why don't you go downstairs with
Kloppman and get your stuff ready?"
"yup, sure raven" he said running down the stairs.
"ok now what really gives?" Jack asked. i couldn't go through it all again,
so dutchy told them the story, starting from the moment i saw my sister in
the alley to the present. "well theres only one thing to do" he said once
dutchy was done "we gotta find out if they really are back, and in the mean
time we hafta keep you and chugger here"he made it all sound so simple. "and
if they are back?" i asked "what do you suggest we do, spend the rest of our
lives in the lodging house?"
"i dunno raven, i really dunno"
*********************************************************************
i really hated it when jack sounded unsure, cause if he didn't know what to
do, then i could just figure i was doomed. but i kept up a brave front for
Chugger, and we had fun, playing poker until dawn. some of the guys stayed
in too, to keep us company i guess, maybe to protect us. either way i
didn't object to having Spot near me. well near me may have been putting
it nicely, more like practicaly sitting on my lap. he didn't let me out of
his sight, and it got to the point that i had to say something. "spot, i
really don't think frank's hiding behind the couch, besides chuggers
starting to notice" spot was one for tough love, not sugar coating things,
so i wasn't surprised with his response. "Raven your going to have to
tell him, he's not going to sit here all day tomorrow without a reason, stop
trying to be a wise ass, pretending like everythings ok" you had to love
him. "who're you calling a wise ass buster?" i screeched throwing a pillow
at him, he sat up laughing throwing it back at me, missing me by inches and
hitting Race on the back of the head. "oh dats it" he yelled "pillow
fight!!!"
i had fun that night, and it stayed with me, even when things really took a
turn for the worse, even if i did forget for awhile it always came back.
i told chugger the next morning, he wasn't too happy, but who would be? so
we stayed there all day, aimlessly playing cards till the kid had all my
money. i couldn't concentrate anyway. we stayed there for the next two
days after that. each day someone would bring us lunch from Tibby's staying
awhile to talk and tell us what the headline was like. i just wanted to go
outside. chugger i was sure felt the same. each day we sat up there
amongst all the bunks, playing cards or shooting marbles with Kloppman
downstairs gaurding the door.
on our third day in captivity, i was memorizing the way the tiles were
arranged on the celing when spot came bursting in happy from what i assumed
was a good selling day. he kissed me setting our lunches down, then
proceeded to tell us what a great headline they got.
"some wife is suspected for shooting her husband" he said gleefully shoving
a paper under my face. i choked on the coffee i was drinking, then gasping
for breath i grabbed the paper staring at the picture on front. chugger
looked over my shoulder "raven...isn't that...?"
"mom" i finished.
an hour later the newsies were there, watching pack my stuff. "raven what
are you doing?" dutchy asked "have you thought about this?"
"listen dutchy i gotta go back...i have to, my mom, shes weak she can't
handle this,...she needs me" i looked down at the shirt i was folding. and
placed it carefully in the bag i had brought with me in the first place.
"raven please" spot said "don't be dumb" "i'm not being dumb spot i'm doing
what i gotta do"
'then i'm going with you" that was chugger, i wished i had the strength to
get mad, to shake him and demand he wasn't going, but i didn't so i just
said "no, your not, your staying here"
"just stay over night and think about it" jack said. i agreed knowing i
would leave as soon as they were asleep.
i walked to place where i used to live, i couldn't call it home because it
never was, it was just a place i stayed, and experienced nightmares far
worse then the ones you dream. but i went back anyway trying to console
myself by saying at least it was by free will this time. i approched the
yard and saw a big for sale sign. of course, they moved, why would they buy
back the same house. well now i felt stupid, so i sat on the steps and
stared. the city was big they could be anywhere. 'well i tried my best" i
mumbled glad for an excuse to go back home, for the lodging house was my
home. it just wasn't my destiny, cause just my luck a man walking down the
street saw me, and stopped to share what he knew. "you lookin for the
springs? they live cross town now, on Mcguin street," well thank you so
much, i thought sarcastically. why oh why did have have to get a
conscience. it was dutchy's fault i decided. but then felt bad, he was
still my best friend no matter what. so i thanked the man and walked towards
the ill fated mcguin street. i knew my mother wasn't there, the article
said she was in the city jail awaiting trial that could take months, but our
aunt eliza would be, i approached a row of shabby apartment buildings and
began at the begining reading the names on the mail slots. when i found
Spring i walked in and trudged up the 5 flights of stairs. the door was
locked, didn't surprise me, nothing these days did, so i sat outside the
door and finally i slept.
"Melody is that you?" my aunt asked scrutinizing me with distaste.
melody, the name brought back memeorys i'd forgotten.
"yes it's me, i thought you might need some help" that had to have been the
hardest thing i've ever done. i didn't go back into being melody very
easily. it took me a full month after that day that my aunt dragged me
inside, to get used to people calling me that. i was generally called the
ungrateful slob though, whatever i did wasn't enough, not for any of them.
i took on the full weight of the household. everyday thinking of spot and
the newsies, and chugger, chugger who i proclaimed dead. i told them that
he was jumped and died, i didn't want my bitch of aunt to drag him into this
shit hole. so i kept up the story, did the house work, and turned back into
melody spring.
Until the day came that the newsies got another good headline, "murder
suspect gets let off on act of self defense" my mother came home, sent aunt
eliza away, and got better. she rested and once she was gone she set me
free. said she knew i had somewhere to be. where it was i had no idea, the
five months i spent in that house totally brought me in a 360. a full
circle, i'd forgotten freedom, and i'd forgotten the newsies.a day later
with my mother leading them the newsies trooped into the apartment "Raven?"
spot asked quietly i didn't look like the person he had asked to be his
goil, i was thin from not eating and tired, and worst of all i was melody.
i stood there in shock as memorys invaded my brain, taking it over till i
broke and ran into his arms. i *was* raven, i wasn't melody, i wasn't some
abused lost girl, i was me. and i was never happier. "go" my mom said
"leave, you don't belong here" she hugged me and let me go. "i only wish
Johnny were ok" she said longfully. i looked at chugger through the crowd
of newsies and nodded he came forth and said 'i am, but i'm a newsie now
mom, i've got friends" and she hugged him and let us both go. she stood
there at the door watching us leave our past behind for a second time. then
she turned and closed the door, shutting in the memories.
"i'm glad your back Raven" spot said "i was so worried, we couldn't find
you, we thought you were...were dead" i looked at him staring him in the
eyes. "i'm sorry spot, i really am, but it's all over now" "yeah, it is. i
guess you did a 360 and then some"
"and it brought me right where i wanted to be"
**************************THE END*************************************