Halloween Hoodlums
Parker's Pranks
Knowing how much his father loved holidays, Parker Booth had been planning ahead for Halloween this year. Several weeks beforehand, he had asked his mom if he could call Bones. Now that his dad and Dr. Brennan had been together a few months, Booth had relaxed his stance that Parker had to address his partner as 'Dr. Bones.' The boy was hoping that someday, he could call her 'Mom' as he did Rebecca, but he kept this wish to himself, knowing that rushing things would not help any of the admired adults in his life.
Rebecca knew her son's father almost as well as he did, and once Parker had explained his reason for wanting to talk to Brennan, she agreed with a chuckle. Seeley Booth did l-o-v-e celebrating holidays. And he loved practical jokes. So she knew Parker was on to something with his plan to give his dad a few surprises on Halloween. The day fell on a weekend this year, and she had already arranged with Dr. Brennan for Booth's son to spend the weekend with her, and hopefully, by extension with his dad, once the day grew closer and such plans could be discussed without arousing the FBI agent's suspicions of the trio's ulterior motives.
Thus it was that Parker and Brennan dispatched Booth to the grocery store, video rental Redbox, and costume shop with a long list of required purchases at each location, giving them time to lay their traps and arrange the pranks to which Booth would soon find himself subjected. Their first stop was Brennan's guest bathroom. They raised the toilet set and stretched clear plastic wrap across the bowl, securing it with heavy duty clear packing tape under the rim and around the sides. Brennan had purchased several ripe bananas the previous day, mashed them, and stored them in her refrigerator behind her cartons of fava bean shoots and alfalfa sprouts, which she knew Booth would never touch. Parker carefully removed the dish of 'smashed bananas' as he called them and carried it to the bathroom. The pair spread the mixture across the plastic wrap and closed the toilet lid. As a finishing touch, they unscrewed the light bulb in the bathroom light fixture so that an unsuspecting Booth would be using the facilities with reduced illumination.
Next they short-sheeted the guest room bed where Booth would sleep after a faked squabble with Brennan. Parker would meanwhile occupy her living room couch where he could ostensibly watch cartoon the next morning without disturbing his father or Brennan. After stuffing the sleeves of his dad's terry cloth robe inside to hamper donning his favorite weekend morning attire, Parker draped the robe over the end of the bed.
They put blue food coloring into a bottle of Yuengling beer and recapped it, then substituted Brennan's granola for Booth's favorite Choco-berry cereal. High-fiving each other, they rechecked the time, stashed their supplies, and innocently began a card game of War on the coffee table as they heard Booth pull up in the parking lot.
The agent came down the hallway whistling, his arms loaded with pizza boxes and shopping bags. Stopping at Brennan's door, he bellowed for Parker to come it and relieve his burden. On cue, Parker flung the door open, grabbed the sack of DVD's and grocery bags, greeting his father with a hearty hug.
"I see you fulfilled our shopping requests, Booth. I didn't realize we'd given you so many errands to run, but thank you for doing so, " Brennan said with a smile from her seat on the couch. "There's a cold Yuengling waiting for you in the fridge. Let's open the pizza; I'm starved."
It was all Parker and Brennan could do to squelch their laughter at Booth's bright blue tongue after a few sips of his beer.
Brennan casually mentioned that her master bathroom plumbing was acting sluggish, and suggested that Parker and Booth use the guest room bath for the evening. After two beers and three slices of meat lover pizza, Booth excused himself and headed to 'the head' as Jared would have said.
"Bones, did you know your light's burned out in here? I'll put in a new bulb as soon as I'm done here," he said through the closed door. The guilty duo waited for his groan upon feeling the slimy addition to the toilet. Sure enough, Booth let out a yelp which could have been heard at Pop's retirement center. Ten seconds later he came barreling out of the bathroom, glaring at both of them.
"Do you have any idea how gross that felt?" he demanded. "Once I smelled the bananas, I realized you were pranking me, but that was awful when I first sat down. Yuck, What a disgusting sensation! Which of you two hoodlums came up with that idea?"
By this time, Parker was lying on the floor, struggling for breath, tears running down his cheeks, having toppled off the sofa in his fit of hysterical laughter. Brennan was shaking uncharacteristically, giggling silently at her partner's indignation. Chuckling uproariously, she choked out, "We both did; it was posted on Google Pranks."
The trio resumed eating their pizza slices, watched 'Hocus Pocus" downed more soda than Rebecca would have approved of, and exchanged ghost stories, before tuning into an Animaniac's Halloween special and "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
Parker begged to stay up, but Booth refused, and Brennan told him she'd inflated an air mattress in her guest room for him. The boy winked at her over Booth's shoulder as he hugged his father goodnight, and traipsed down the hall to head to bed.
Booth and Brennan watched an Alfred Hitchcock movie, and reminisced about their childhood Halloween experiences before retiring for the night. Once they were in bed, Booth did what all men do under the covers, and released a 'low-flying duck' as Pops had called it. Brennan normally tolerated this male tendency with a poke to Booth's muscular thigh or by shoving his shoulder in protest. But tonight she turned on the theatrics and banished him to the guest room.
"Tell Parker to move to the couch, so he doesn't have to endure your malodorously bad manners, Booth!"
Grumbling to himself good-naturedly, Booth ambled to the spare bedroom and climbed into Brennan's comfy guest bed. Or at least he attempted to.
"Dagnabit! Who short-sheeted the bed?" he thundered.
Parker rolled over, and opened one eye with a grin. "Whatsa'matter, Dad?" he inquired innocently.
Brennan peeped around the door frame, smiling broadly, "Happy Halloween, Booth! Gotcha!"
"Yeah, you did, good and proper, just you wait til next year, you two! When April Fool's Day rolls around, watch out!"