If you looked back and really thought about it, you might think that it all started when Brooke kissed her on Dare Night. When Brooke had opened up that card and it read: Kiss a team member on the lips. The guys- politely declined, they of course, had their reputations to keep. It was assumed that Brooke would kiss Felix, but instead at the last minute she pushed Felix away and touched her lips to Peyton's.
Peyton of course, was in shock, but felt something in the pit of her stomach that shouldn't have been there. She brushed it off, it was nothing, right? It was just a kiss between friends. It was a simple dare. So, the blonde just laughed, gave Felix a shove and followed the two other girls on her team to do a dance to celebrate their win.
Two or three months later, when Anna came into her room she didn't want to admit it. Peyton didn't really remember most of it, she knew that she was comforting Anna in the fact that Lucas had sort-of broken up with her. She had hugged her, told her that Lucas was insane, and when she backed out of the hug she could remember Anna leaning in and kissing her. For a brief second, Peyton felt like she wanted it… it felt good… but instead she pushed Anna away and said something like, "That's not really my thing," or, "I'm not like that." She wasn't really sure she could only remember that kiss and the fact that she had let Anna run out of the room.
Dyke. It was an ugly word. It was a hateful word. Peyton wanted to kick it until it bled. It was just as bad as any other hate word. It could have been racial, or anything else, but when it showed up on her locker that one day at school everything in her crashed. Had someone seen her kissing Anna? Her web cam had been off. Surely Anna hadn't told anyone. The girl wasn't out. Instead of ignoring it, or pretending it didn't exist, she acted on impulse.
That night she created a shirt. It was that night she realized that she felt something for girls. It explained that spark between her and Brooke. It explained why she wanted to run after Anna and kiss her again. Instead, she denied it. It was a white tank top that had dyke written on it in red capital letters. She wore it to school. It was her own way of telling people without really telling people. She barely managed to get to her locker before the principle told her to change. She tried to get through to him, but he insisted she change or go home.
She didn't know what possessed her to do it, but she ended up tearing the shirt off and walking out of the school in a bra, which ended her with a week's suspension.
No one asked her if she was a lesbian or even bi. They assumed she wasn't. They asked her questions like, "Why would you do that if you aren't?" It never occurred to them that Peyton Sawyer might actually like girls. So, it never occurred to her to tell them.
Jake. He was sweet, kind, and amazing, which were the exact reasons that Peyton fell in love with him. She thought that maybe that whole girl-thing was a phase. When he left, he left Tree Hill, he left his friends and he left her, her world fell apart. After a long time of hurting and the school shooting, she finally heard back from him. She flew down to Savannah. She was engaged for all about five minutes before Jake sent her back because he thought she was still in love with Lucas.
What if she was? She didn't remember dreaming about him. Why would she say she loved him when she clearly didn't? She ended up trying to talk to Brooke about it. That defiantly didn't go over well. She had thought she had phrased it as a question, but she hadn't. It ended up playing as this whole thing about how she still liked him, and Brooke thought she was betraying her. In the end, Brooke ended their friendship. This was the second time this had happened. All she kept thinking was what the hell is wrong with me?
When Brooke left her, she kept crying and crying and crying. Soon Jake faded out of her mind and it was left with Brooke. Brooke had left her. Her best friend in the entire world had left her and she was left with no one.
Brooke sat in her car. How could Peyton like Lucas? This was her Peyton. Not his. Wait, wasn't she supposed to be saying Lucas was hers and not Peyton's. Sure, when she had kissed Peyton on Dare night she had felt a spark, but it wasn't anything to think about. She continued to sit in her car a few blocks from Peyton's house with a box of Chocolate ice cream, eating it with a plastic spoon.
Why am I even questioning myself? I love Lucas, I don't like Peyton. In fact, I hate Peyton. She is the one that likes MY boyfriend. Brooke thought to herself angrily.
Ahead, she saw the lights turn from green to yellow to red. She remembered Lucas telling her about the times he saw Peyton running those red lights. The thought of Peyton getting hit by those cars made Brooke cry harder. She should have been there helping Peyton.
Oh, and by the way, none of those words were 'Yes Peyton, I love him.'
Peyton's words rang through her head. That's because she didn't love Lucas like she claimed she did. The spark from dare night, the hurt from Peyton liking Lucas was all coming to her now. She didn't like Lucas, sure she did, but not in that way. She was jealous that Peyton liked him, which only meant that Brooke liked Peyton.
But that wasn't possible. I'm straight, Brooke kept telling herself.
But then why did saying she loved Peyton feel right?
She hurt. She missed Brooke. She wanted Brooke with her. She wanted Brooke to hold her arms around her like she did when she was seven and tell her everything was alright, or that everything would get better. Brooke wasn't there, and she would never be there. Not again. Peyton had screwed things up- big time.
I love you, Brooke, come back. Peyton screamed inside her head.
Ring.
Ring.
RIIIIIING.
Peyton groaned as she picked up the phone. Socializing wasn't on her list of things she wanted to do at this exact moment.
"Hello?" She mumbled into the speaker.
"Hey, Peyton?" a male voice spoke.
"Jake?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"How are you?" Peyton asked, sitting up against her wall, clutching the phone.
"I'm fine, Peyton. I actually called to tell you something. I lied."
"You what?" Peyton asked.
"I lied. You didn't say I love you, Lucas in your sleep. You said I love you, Brooke and at first I thought it was a friendship thing, but then you said I'm in love with you." Jake said into the phone. I just thought it'd be easier on you if I told you it was Lucas."
"How could you? You lied to me? Dammit, Jake. You just cost me my best friend!"
Peyton clicked off the phone, not bothering to say goodbye. He never did.
She wanted to scream. All the things about girls she thought had been a phase was true. These hurt feelings she was feeling about Brooke was true, and Jake's phone call made her realize that now. She was missing her because she loved her. She felt hurt because Brooke left her. She basically dumped her friendship.
Peyton needed to tell her.
Call From: P. Sawyer.
This was the fifth time Peyton had called in the last ten minutes. Finally, Brooke answered the damn cell phone.
"What?" Brooke answered the phone angry than she had meant too.
"Where are you?" Peyton's voice answered.
"Why do you care?"
"I need to talk to you… NOW!"
"I don't want-"
"LISTEN! Brooke! I need to tell you something and it's got nothing to do with Lucas, well maybe a little, but it's about you and me and god dammit if you don't tell me where you are right now I'll hunt you down until I tell you this." Peyton threatened.
"I'm a few blocks from your house," Brooke said, giving up, "Over towards Haley and Nathan's apartment by that tree we used to climb."
"I'll be there in a few minutes." Peyton said, and then clicked the phone shut.
A few minutes later Brooke saw Peyton's car immerging from the end of the street. Brooke got out of her Bug, and shut the door and put her best "I'm pissed" face on, but her and Peyton had been friends for ten years and she knew Peyton would see right through it and see the "I'm hurting inside" look on her face instead.
Peyton stopped her car across the street from Brooke, shut it off, and got out of the car. Butterflies grew by the millions in Peyton's stomach when she remembered why she was here. She was here to tell her… that.
"What do you want," Brooke asked.
"I don't like Lucas," Peyton came out and said the first part.
"What?"
"I. Don't. Like. Lucas." Peyton said, walking closer to Brooke.
"What do you mean you don't like Lucas? You made me go through all this pain just so you could watch me suffer?" Brooke asked angrily.
"No! I mean, I thought I liked Lucas, Brooke, but I was really trying to convince myself of something I didn't want to be true, but it was and I have to accept it and hopefully it won't hurt our friendship."
"You mean the friendship that doesn't exist?"
"It exists, Brooke, you know it does."
"Well what is it?"
"Huh?"
"The thing that you were trying to cover up?"
"Oh… that…" Peyton said, suddenly stumbling with her words.
"Well…." Brooke drawled out.
"I like… you." Peyton said.
Brooke just stared. Did Peyton just say she liked her, Brooke Davis? She was in shock. How could… what the…
"I knew it. Just… you know what? Forget it." Peyton said.
"No!" Brooke said.
"What?"
"No! I don't want to forget it." Brooke said, moving closer.
"What… why?" Peyton said, very very aware of the fact the Brooke was closer than she should be.
"Because of this.." Brooke said before silencing Peyton by crashing their lips together. Peyton's breath caught in her throat for a moment before returning the kiss. Brooke felt weak at the knees, no kiss had ever made her feel this good. She wrapped her arm around Peyton's waist, and pulled her closer.
Peyton happily obliged, wrapping her arms around Brooke's neck. Before either of the girls knew what was happening their tongues were crashing and they were both in a wave of heat neither girl had ever experienced. When oxygen became an issue, both girls slowly parted.
"That's… a good reason…" Peyton breathed, leaning her forehead on Brooke's.
"I thought so myself." Brooke giggled, which caused Peyton too also.
"So, um, where do we go from here?" Peyton asked.
"Well, if you don't disagree, I'd say I'm breaking up with Lucas because falling head over heels in love with you sounds like a much better idea."
"I like the sound of that," Peyton agreed.
Jake had been right. Her heart was in Tree Hill. It always would be if Brooke was with her.
The End.
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