Windy: DOn't ask, do not ask!
Dew: Ask what?
Tetra: She meant why she didn't update any fics for so long.
Windy: That's because ff.net is so protective that they had to delete my two humour fics: 'HE'S MY SARU' and 'Stuck Together', I don't know if anyone has realized or not, I just know they need to take the sources of energy away from people! They just had to delete the fics that my lovely reviewers enjoyed the most!!! I can't see their happy replies ever again!!! AHHH!!!
Dew: .......
Windy: Ahem, because of this reason, I think I'll try to revise 'HE'S MY SARU', I'll try to put it back up, but I don't think I want to continue 'Stuck Together' anymore.
Tetra: Ah!?
Windy: Back to our usual notes!
Warning: Shounen-ai here (I wonder is it because I placed this word in the Summary...) Maybe OOCs and since its a humour based fic, be prepared it's in a dialogue format and that some things maybe illogical okay? ^_^.
Genre: Humour/Romance
Main Pairing: 39
Disclaimer: The day that Saiyuki belongs to me is the day when pigs will fly. And raining cows came falling down from the sky. Newspapers announcing that rabbits lived on the moon in outer space, and you can see it today, perfectly great. Let's not forget the one ring to rule them all also appeared before me, once I put it on the creepy soldiers are hunting after me. Ok, in short, if you still don't get it, I don't own it, happy?
Note: If you're wondering what I meant by BL at the start of this fic, it means Boy's Love-Shounen-ai, so if this is not your material, then leave. I decided to call Shounen-ai BL since it's short to type and hopefully less people understands this statement and won't go and change my black text to a blank white text on a white background.
Other than that, do enjoy this fic, it's actually dedicated to everyone of you(Authors, Reviewers, even just Readers), because I've heard from a caring author that people are writing a lot of angst saiyuki fics and we need humour. (Of course, I don't mind you writing angst) No, I didn't plan to do it, but the caring author told me how minna-san are really unhappy these days...weeks...argh months maybe, and I don't want anyone to suffer and be depressed so much, it's bad for our health, so this fic is dedicated to everyone of you, thus named ,"Perfect Remedy", I hope it will heal your hearts just as the title suggests and let the burden of depression on us be lightened!! ^_^
~* Chapter 1: ...all I can see, is a saru, a cockroach, and a little lizard rested on the shoulder of a geek. *~
(Battle scene, near to the woods we could see our four comedians- I mean heroes, fighting against a bunch of youkais and thus very near to gain their victory...)
Hakkai: ()_^ Hahaha... such a great number today *Charges ki ball and aims it at a certain youkai*
Goku: Exactly! *Whacks a youkai on the head and taking a few more down* MOU~ Harahetta~~!! o
Gojyo: Is food the ONLY thing I ever hear from you whenever I feel like some people are watching us from a far? *Throws his shakujou and stabs on a youkai*
Goku: # No ero kappa!! But what did you mean we're being 'watched'?
Gojyo: *Stabbed a few more youkai and went over to Goku's side* If I'm an ero kappa then you must be a baka saru!! # #
Goku: Nani!? *Delivered the final blow on a certain youkai and turned to face Gojyo* I'm not a saru!! Gokiburi!! # #
Sanzo: URUSAII!!!! # # *Shoots between Goku and Gojyo, which the two screamed and parted away from each other while Sanzo's shot landed on a youkai that was just about to attack the quarreling duo*
Gojyo: # # # For Kami-sama's sake!!! Watch where you're shooting you corrupted- KYAHH!! *Ducked down to avoid another shot from Sanzo, who aimed at the final youkai left standing and was behind Gojyo*
Sanzo: You should be grateful I saved your sorry life, you've wasted my precious bullet because of that idiotic brain of yours.
Gojyo: =_= # # # SAY THAT AGAIN YOU HAIRLESS- !!
Hakkai: *Covered Gojyo's loud mouth* Maa maa ()_^ Let's drop this subject and go to the next town already ne? *Turns to smile at Goku* What do you say Goku?
Goku: Yeah! *Bounces up and down* Let's go already!
Hakkai: *releases Gojyo's mouth and walked along with Goku towards their jeep*
Sanzo: *Glances at Gojyo and snorts, leaves*
Gojyo: [[What the!? # # # Kuso!!! You corrupted monk for making Hakkai on your side!!! # # Eat This!!]] *Kicks a small stone towards Sanzo's head*
Sanzo: *Realizes something is coming from behind, ducked his head and turned around to glare at Gojyo*
Gojyo: Opps.
(However, the stone collided on the bark of a tree, bounces back and clashed into Sanzo's back brain)
Sanzo: !? *Fell face forward and landed on the ground*
Hakkai: What was that sound?
Goku: Hmm... *Turns around*
Gojyo: _ Great.
Goku: o_O!? SANZO!!! *Runs to Sanzo's side* Sanzo!? SAnzo!? SANZO!? *tugs at Sanzo's sleeve and shook the figure on the ground vigorously* WAAHHH!!!! *Turns to face Gojyo* You killed Sanzo!!!!
Gojyo: # # I did not!!!! He's only knocked out!!!
Goku: Q_Q huh?
Gojyo: Well, serves him right.
Hakkai: ()________^ Gojyo.
Gojyo: *Feels a death aura revolving around Hakkai* ||||||||| Uh... he was only knocked out by a little stone!!!
Hakkai: ()________^ I see, a LITTLE stone huh?
Gojyo: ||||||||||||
Hakkai: ()________^ You'll do the carrying won't you Gojyo?
Gojyo: ||| Uh....ah....
Hakkai: ()________^ Let's go and find an inn in the next town shall we??
Gojyo: |||| H..h.haii....
(And thus, the trio proceeds to the next town with a knocked out Sanzo)
~**~
(Meanwhile...in Tenkai a certain goddess...or a god...okay, it's a goddess for easier typing!! Is leaning on the fence which surrounds a pond and a younger god and a servant kami is by her side...)
Kanzeon: Fwahahahaha!!!!! XD I can't believe my nephew got knocked out just like that!!! *Laughing loudly and pounding her/his fists on the fence, slapping her hands on the younger god's back*
Nataku: Itai! *Slap* Itai!! *Slap* o_ ITai!! *Slap* o ITAI!!!
Jiroshin: |||| ;;; K-K-K-K-Kanzeon Bosatsu-sama!!! *Tries to calm Kanzeon down*
Kanzeon: *Finally frees Nataku* Mwahahaahaha!!!
Nataku: T_T Itai su...
Jiroshin: T_T Kanzeon Bosatsu-sama....
Kanzeon: *Peers into the pond* Hey look!! They've found and inn and hey look!! He's starting to wake up!!!
~**~
(Inside a certain room of a certain inn...)
Goku: Hakkai! Gojyo! Look! Look! He's awake!!! *Waves frantically*
Hakkai: *Smiles* ()_^ Really?
Hakuryu: *Is resting on Hakkai's shoulder* Kyu~!
Gojyo: *cries* [[Kami-sama!! Hotoke-sama!! Oinari-sama!! Oh my God save me!!! He's gonna murder me for this!!! o!!]] ((Dew: They're all gods. Whoever they are.))
Sanzo: *Opens eyes* ....... *Observes around him and saw faces of people hovering over him* ......
Goku: Sanzo! Daijoubu?
Hakkai: ()_^ How are you feeling Sanzo?
Hakuryu: Kyu~?
Sanzo: *Eyes landed on Gojyo*
Gojyo: |||||| Uh... hi there...
Sanzo: ..........*Slowly sits up in the motion of a zombie, slips his right hand into his left sleeve and pulls out his gun*
Gojyo: O[]O !!!
Goku: O.O San...Sanzo?
Hakkai: ()_^;;; Now, Now, Sanzo, Gojyo realizes he was sorry for what he did so he wants to-
-BANG! BANG! BANG!
Sanzo: *Shoot at the trio but missed them all* ....[[That's weird, I didn't want to kill them but at the same time I also wish I did so I could have some peace there. ....hey...]]
Goku: *A little startled* San...Sanzo?
Hakkai: ()_^;; ...Are you okay Sanzo?
Gojyo: T[]T ....
.....................
Sanzo: .....Who the hell are you people?
................................
..................
.........
Goku/Hakkai/Gojyo: EEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!??????????
Sanzo: # # SHUT UP ALREADY!!!
Goku: O.O B-but SAnZo!? What happened to you!? I'm Goku!
Hakkai: .....()_^;; Sanzo? I'm Hakkai, and this is Hakuryu remember?
Hakuryu: Kyu~!
Gojyo: ||| Uh...uh... come on... I know you wanna kill me but don't scare us like that bouzu...
Sanzo: ........... Who the hell are you guys?
Goku: Q_Q Sanzo...
Hakkai: ()_- Hmmm... it seems like he has amnesia.....
Gojyo: Then that means....
that means.....
Hakkai: [[That means it's a great chance to break his smoking and violent habits towards us!!!]]
Goku: [[That means I can ask him to pay for all the food I want and he won't hit me because of that!!!]]
Gojyo: [[That means I'm SAVED!!! Thank you so much Kami-sama, Hotoke-sama, Oinari-sama!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!]]
Sanzo: # Who are you all anyway? *Raises gun* SPEAK!
Goku/Hakkai/Gojyo: WWWAAAHHH!!!!! Ch-ch-ch-chotto!!!!
Sanzo: #
Hakkai: ()_^ We're your companions and the four of us are heading to the west remember Sanzo?
Sanzo: No.
Goku: I'm Goku, he's Hakkai, that's Hakuryu and Gojyo over there?
Sanzo: No.
Gojyo: You're my s*x slave do you remember? ((Tetra: ...we don't really mean that, gomen minna-sama*bows*))
Goku: o_O Huh?
Hakkai: ()____^ # # GOJYO!!!
Gojyo: ...it...it was only a joke...
Goku: Ne~what did he meant by s- *Mouth got covered by Hakkai*
Sanzo: # Can I shoot him? *Eyes twitched while staring at Gojyo*
Gojyo: O[]O I said it was a joke you naga- OOOUUCH!!!!
Sanzo: *Whacked Gojyo's head with his infamous harisen several times* ..... *Suddenly stops* ....... *Stares at his own fan* ...Where did this come from?
Goku/Hakkai/Gojyo: [[He doesn't even know!? |||||||| ]]
Goku: Ne~ you really don't remember us? *Stares at Sanzo with hope*
Sanzo: ...all I can see, is a saru, a cockroach, and a little lizard rested on the shoulder of a geek.
Goku: *Frowns a little* oh... ... *Hesitates* ... ...hey... I'm not a monkey!!! # #
Hakuryu: Kyu! Kyu! Kyu~! # #
Gojyo: Ore-sama is not a cockroach!!! # # Which part of the beautiful me is like a cockroach!? # #
Hakkai: [[A geek, a geek, a geek, a geek, a geek, a geek, a geek, a geek, a geek-]]
Sanzo: *Points at the two thick strings of hair sticking out of Gojyo's forehead* Those antennas.
Gojyo: This is a hairstyle!!! A Hairstyle!!! # # It's supposed to be like that, you violent monk!!! # #
Sanzo: Nani? # #
Hakkai: ...*Awakes from his shocked position* Hahah~ maybe we should go find a doctor... let's leave Gojyo.
Gojyo: HUH!? Why me-
Hakkai: *Emits a cold aura that lowered the room temperature* ()____________^ YOU.MADE.HIM.LOST-
Gojyo: |||| ----- OKAY! OKAY! I'LL GO!! I'll DO IT!!
Hakkai: ()_^ Good. *Turns to look at Goku* Goku, I'll leave you and hakuryu to take care of Sanzo ne?
Goku: HUh? B..but I-
Hakkai: Now, now, we'll be back - with your favourite nikuman.
Goku: Okay! ^_^
Gojyo*Mumbles*: Stupidwildanimalbehaviourcanonlythinkoffood-
Hakkai: ()__________^ Gojyo.
Gojyo: HA-HAI!!?? ||||||
Hakkai: Let's go, it's such a PEACEFUL DAY today ISN'T it? ()____^ *Drags a terrified Gojyo out of the room*
Gojyo: [[AHH~!! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! SAVE ME SOMEBODY OUT THERE, ANYONE PLEASE SAVE-]]
*Door closes*
Sanzo: ..........
Goku: ...........
(Screams could be heard outside)
Sanzo: [[Somehow it feels like the guy with glasses is a bit dangerous...]]
Goku: [[Somehow that cold temperature vanished...]]
(Crash! Bang! Ponk! Bing!)
.......................
Sanzo: .......
Goku: .......
Sanzo: *Turns to look at Goku*....Who the hell are you?
Goku: Huh? I'm Goku! I said that name a lot of times today Sanzo!!
Sanzo: .....Who's Sanzo?
Goku: You are!!!
Sanzo: I see.
Goku: *Sighs a little* [[Finally...]]
Sanzo: *Stares at Goku*
Goku: *Stares back*
DOKI DOKI
Sanzo: *Continues to stare* .......
Goku: ......//// [[That's weird, why is my face feeling a bit hot?]] ///
Sanzo: *Continues to stare* .......
Goku: ......../// [[S-Stop staring like that at me Sanzo!!]]
Sanzo: *Continues to stare* .......
Goku: //////// San-sanzo? I think I'm going-
Sanzo: *Suddenly grabs Goku's wrists and pulls him nearer to himself* .....
Goku: o//O !!! SAn-SANzo!? /////
Sanzo: What did you say your name was again?
Goku: *Shock -- Petrified/Stoned*
~**~
(Back in Tenkai...)
Kanzeon: Aw~ haw haw!!!
Nataku: I never knew a little stone could cause such a tremendous impact...
Jiroshin: |||||
Kanzeon: I have decided!!!
Nataku/Jiroshin: Huh?
Kanzeon: I shall make things more interesting!!! *Starts to leap into the pond*
Jiroshin: O[]O !!!!!!!!! MMMAAATTTEEE KANZEON BOSATSU-SAMA!!!!!
Kanzeon: Huh? *Turns around*
Jiroshin: You CAN'T GO! You just can't! People would stare at you!!!
Kanzeon: ah?
Jiroshin: You just can't go out into the human world like that!
Kanzeon: ....... oh... yes, you're right....
Jiroshin*sighs*: [[It worked!! I made her stop to cause anymore troubles!!]]
Kanzeon: I'll change my form and transform into a human so they won't know it's me eh? ^^
Jiroshin: Yes, good thinking-WHA!?
Kanzeon: Hmm... what will I be? A handsome guy? A charming lady? A beautiful princess? Hey Jiro! Come on! Gimme some suggestions!!
Jiroshin: Ah...ah...ah...
Nataku: Good thinking ^_^
~**~
(Back to the human world- among inside the town-)
Hakkai: Hmm... I wonder where we could find a good doctor...
Gojyo: OhnoI'mstuckhereI'mgonnadieIdon'twannaI-
Hakkai: Please Gojyo, you've whined non-stop ever since we got outside.
Gojyo: THAT'S BECAUSED YOU TIED THIS DAMN COLLAR TO MY NECK!!! # #
(It seems like our Hakkai has somehow managed to tied a collar with a chain to Gojyo's neck, and Hakkai is holding the chain string.)
Hakkai: ()____^ Gomen ne, I didn't hear you, what did you just say?
Gojyo: |||| Huh...huh.... I meant.... I'm whining because I'm so uh...happy that you bestowed this beautiful metal necklace around my neck...
Hakkai: ()_____^ really? Heheh... you're so honest Gojyo ()___________^
Gojyo: [[ o KAMI!!!!]]
Hakkai: *Suddenly spots a bunch of familiar figure* Ara? Ah, good to see minna-san ()_^
Kougaiji: Ah? *Spots Hakkai*
Yaone: Ara!? *Spots Hakkai and his chain*
Lirin: Eh!? *Spots Hakkai holding a chain which is connected to a collar of Gojyo's neck*
Dokugakuji: *Spots Gojyo* !? o_O What the!? *Walks closer* Gojyo, what's that thing you're wearing around your neck!!!???
Gojyo: ....|||| You...you don't wanna know.... T^T
Kougaiji-ikkou: ....................
Kou: [[Why the hell did I suddenly think the daily temperature around here has fallen down by a few degrees?]]
Yaone: [[/// I see... so Hakkai-san and Gojyo-san's a couple ///]]
Lirin: [[...why do I get a feeling I suddenly had the urge to pity for the cockroach head?]]
Doku: [[...Gojyo... I don't mind who you find to be your other half... but at least remain a seme yourself T^T]]
Hakkai: Yaone-san's good at making potions right?
Yaone: *snaps out of her thoughts* Huh? AH! Ha-hai! What's the matter?
Hakkai: By any chance, are you able to make a remedy that could regain memories?
Yaone: Huh?
~* To Be Continued *~
Windy: Yes! That's one chapter finished!
Dew: How many are we writing here?
Windy: I don't know maybe just one or two more chapters.
Dew: Oh...
Tetra: We would like to apologize for possible spellings and grammatical errors, also OOC of characters, and confusions of scenes and we did hope you enjoyed it.
Windy: Hey, is this funny? Do tell me so, you're all reading this, I hope the people that are depressed are now feeling happier than usual (Not that I mind you writing angst, but just because like my tomodachi said, there's little humour around the place.) I just hope for the ones that ARE unhappy, I hope you'll relax and take your time, and be creating more wonderful fics again!!!
Tetra: We're not finished with this one eh?
Dew: Sodesu ne...
Windy: Well, I do hope everyone enjoyed this fic, if I offended anyone I apologize, O Genki da ne!! ^_^ See you in the next chapter!! Dedicated to everyone of you!!!
Last Revised: 30/01/2004