Just. Cry
Disclaimer: None of the Power Ranger characters belong to me. Oh! And the song lyrics are from Hilary Duff's "Someone's Watching Over Me" - again, NOT mine.
Author's Note: Wow. I really did it. After more than a year (though most of that was spent ignoring this story) I finally finished this! Okay, so quick editing thingy: Anything seperated from the rest of the story with these things: ----- is Present Ashley thinking. ---------- are regular dividers (similar, but nothing else shows up on Okay? Okay. Just wanted to clarify, since on my Word doc. I have color to seperate everything. Now then, read and (hopefully) enjoy the fruits of my labor!
"Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight…"
Wet droplets streamed down her face. The saltiness of her tears mixed with the light moisture of sweat and the heavy downpour of summer rain. Rain… Her tears slipped down her cheeks unnoticed until her numb, tired mind finally registered what had happened. She cried out and began to sob.
"Why?" she screamed through her bitter tears. One hand slipped up and touched her eye gently. Brushing lightly against her wet, thick eyelashes, her fingers slowly slid down her cheek and touched the gem around her neck. Tears welled up and she began to sob again, falling to her knees, sobs wracking her frail body.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. It wasn't true. It couldn't be true… "NO!" she screamed, pounding the ground in a fury she had never known, a passion darker than her misery. Breathing heavily, sobbing earnestly, she drew her arms back, sitting back on her heels; tired, worn, and so, so empty.
When had it come to this? When did her life go so awry? When had love proved so worthless? No! A corner of her mind screamed. Love was everything! Love was your life! Without love…That's exactly it! another part retaliated. Love is dead! My friends… gone! My family… deserted! My love… my life…
"Gone!" she shrieked. Thunder crackled above her, lightning flashed venomously, and her broken form was illuminated in a wash of pure electric luminosity.
A whisper crept into her. Seven months ago… She could've blamed it on the battle just now. She could've claimed fault to the evil that came into the picture only a month ago. But if she had to be completely truthful with herself, with her heart, it was seven months ago…
In The Past: Seven Months Ago
Overflowing with hyper glee, the yellow-clad brunette tore out of her house, dashing down the sidewalk. Her mind yelled that she was an absolute maniac to do this – she really didn't care. Minutes later, standing in Angel Grove Park, the whole realization of it all dawned on her – only to be pushed away by sheer joy and excitement.
Upon spotting her friends playing basketball at one of the courts, a broad smile spread across her face, and she had to grit her teeth to keep from laughing and skipping over to them. Settling for a simple trot, halfway there a shout exploded in her and she broke into a run, lifting her arms above her, crying out and laughing.
"Cassie, Carlos, T.J!"
Startled by the sudden cry, Carlos looked up and his hold on the dribbling ball slack just enough for Cassie, hovering nearby, to steal the ball and toss it casually through the hoop.
"Hey, girl!" Cassie called back, letting the striped ball bounce aimlessly around the court before T.J picked it up.
"Ashley, what's up?" Carlos looked genuinely concerned – or maybe it was just his affront at losing the ball – until the former yellow ranger burst into light laughter.
"Everything!" she cried happily. "I have the best news!"
"Very nice," Cassie commented lightly, amused. "So are you going to tell us what this great news is, or is it for Andros's ears only?"
Still giggling, Ashley tossed her head slightly, hair combing through a light breeze. "Silly," she declared. "Of course not! I'm just waiting till the others get here!"
"Well…" T.J suggested slyly. "How about another game of basketball until they get here? Girls against boys…?"
Cassie and Ashley cast each other furtive looks and smiled impishly.
"You're on," they declared, moving forward lightning-fast to steal the ball away from the startled African man.
Twenty-eight Minutes Later…
"Foul ball!" Carlos bellowed, darting forward to retrieve the nomadic ball.
"Was not!" Cassie retorted, bending forward slightly with a challenging look on her face.
"Was!"
"NOT!"
"WAS!"
"Totally NOT!"
"It was on this side! It's a foul ball!"
"Like 'sure'! Get your eyes checked, Carlos!" Ashley interrupted, making mocking circles around her eyes in the shape of glasses.
"I still think-"
"It wasn't a foul ball, Carlos. But I do know some great eye doctors!" A cheery voice chirped as three figures approached them. Groaning, the Hispanic man threw his arms up in the air.
"I give up!" he cried dramatically. "Fine, the ball wasn't a foul! I surrender!"
Pursing her lips slightly, Cassie gave him a cocky stance and an 'Oh really?' look, before smiling. "Good." And then collapsing in fits of giggles with Ashley.
"Never try to argue with these girls," Andros declared, wrapping an arm around Ashley, a knowing smile on his face.
"Right…" T.J spun the ball he had regained from Carlos. "So, Ashley, what's this big news?"
Grinning mischievously, the yellow dressed teen pulled a sheaf of papers out of her pocket. "Just got this today," she stated, a bright smile spreading happily. "The Annmarcath Design School of CA sent me an acceptance letter!"
"Annmarcath?" Karone queried. "AMC? That university you've been raving about since your graduation?" She smiled a warm smile of congratulations. "Congratulations; you've really been looking forward to that, haven't you?"
"Hey," Cassie amended. "How could they not accept you? You did get the best scores in that summer style clothing design class you took; they'd have to be crazy to not accept you."
"Well… it's so exclusive, and such a great place – they have some real artists, modern, fashionable… I've idolized the founder of the school since I saw some of her designs in a magazine – Anneliese Cethel," she murmured, loving the way it rolled smoothly off her tongue.
"Well, congratulations," T.J affirmed. "You deserve it."
Sycophantic words of joy were spread around them, until Carlos grabbed the ball out of T.J's hands.
"So… boys vs. girls vs. Kerovans?"
"Nice to know I'm invisible," a wry voice inserted.
"Uh… sorry, Karone… bet you'd make a nice referee…?" he questioned tantalizingly.
Rolling her eyes, the blonde Kerovan popped the ball out of the Hispanic's hands and shot it cleanly into the hoop. Picking up the rolling ball, she smiled neutrally, shooting it at him.
"Yeah," she decided calmly. "I'll be referee."
----------
"That's the constellation Pegasus," the brunette whispered, lifting her hand and pointing a slender finger at a cluster of bright, twinkling stars.
"Pegasus?" the man beside her frowned slightly in thought. "Isn't that the horse that could fly?"
Giggling, Ashley tapped his hand slightly. "It's Greek mythology. But yes, it was basically a horse that could fly… Although I like to think of it in more refined terms…"
"Oh?" Andros questioned, tilting his head so he could see her more clearly. "And what's that?"
Staring at him, blinking innocently, a slow smile crept onto her face. "A flying horse," she answered lightly, breaking into a fit of giggles.
Laughing along with her, the two returned to looking at the stars hanging peacefully above them.
"What's that?" he asked softly, pointing to an intricate geometric design above, tracing his finger along the imaginary lines.
Smiling, Ashley reached up and grasped her boyfriend's hand. Gently, she guided it along the lines again. "That's the Little Dipper," she murmured, letting go of his hand as they drifted back down. "And see there?" she added, pointing to a bright, sparkling dot at the end. "That's the North Star," she continued, suppressing a little yawn.
"Hey," Andros said, sitting up slightly, hearing the yawn. "You're tired – we should go back."
"No," she protested, sitting up as well. "It's gorgeous here, and… and I don't want this night to end…" she added, a little teary.
"Hey," the Kerovan wrapped an arm around her, comforting her. "It's alright… But we really should go back…" Pulling her into a hug, he kissed her hair gently. "I love you," he whispered.
"Me too," she sighed. "I love you."
----------
Muttering incoherently, a soft insistent buzzing sounded in his ears. Grumbling, his face hidden in the pillow, he reached out an arm, swatting randomly, wanting only to shoo away the fly. His hand still waving carelessly, he brought it down harshly – smacking it loudly on a solid, wood nightstand.
Groaning, he turned around and lifted his head, shaking blonde and brown streaked hair away from his face. The first thing that registered in his sleepy mind was how comfortable a sleep he had had. The second was that this was definitely not his room, and that shook him awake. Looking around, the next thing that popped into his mind was the yawning form next to him. Shifting around, the figure opened her eyes – revealing wide, brown orbs that sparkled with life.
A slow smile curved her lips and she sat up a little. "Morning," she whispered, gazing at him.
Unable to suppress a smile, he grinned. "Hi," he whispered back. Then, hesitating, he offered her a weaker smile. "Did we…?" he questioned, not sure how to go on.
Cocking her head slightly, the girl pressed her lips together vaguely before answering, a little wryly, "It would appear so… unless, of course, we just happened to end up in the same bed together… Do you remember?" she added, softer.
Closing his eyes, he sighed. Flashes of the night before came back to him – Pegasus, the North Star, sending Ashley home, kissing her on the doorstep, being invited in, kissing her… kissing her… kissing her… passion, joy, tenderness… pure, sweet, untainted love.
"Yes," he answered, reaching out a hand to stroke her cheek. A bright smile lit her face, and she pressed her lips to his again.
All his worries, pains, and nags vanished for that single, sweet moment; as she ran her fingers through his hair, as he whispered words of love, as she lightly touched her tongue to his lip, as he gently stroked her cheek. Everything was still and serene for that one moment…
-----
Everything was all right for a while then, Ashley reflected bitterly. Then… almost three months later… I found out… Oh, I should have known…
-----
In The Past: Four Months Ago
Sighing, the young woman lifted her head from the toilet, groaning as she felt another wave of nausea over sweep her. A few minutes later she emerged from the bathroom, her head aching with pain. Muttering incoherent words, she grabbed a yellow fleece sweater thrown hastily on the floor when she had rushed to the bathroom. Sighing, the auburn-haired woman left her apartment, locking the door with a feel of worry sweeping through her again.
Walking along the stone hallways of the castle-like dormitory, Ashley had to smile. God, she loved this place! The residence was built on the scale and likeness of an ancient British castle, but when you reached the actual living quarters (away from the Great Hall, lounges, cafeterias and such) it was so modern. Solid wood floors, a spacious apartment room with a bathroom per (which she was currently very grateful for), and two beds and desks each. She fell in love the first moment she saw it.
Pushing open the oaken doors of the Great Hall, as they had dubbed the cafeteria, Ashley mused over the schematics of this place. It was… it was like a cross between Harry Potter, a lounge, a club, a cafeteria… and heaven. This place was pure heaven.
Spotting some of her friends, she walked over, a newfound smile on her face.
"Ashley!" a strawberry-blonde called energetically, waving enthusiastically.
"Hey, Melissa." She smiled warmly at the little group of two.
The other one, a quiet raven-haired girl, looked up, faint surprise etched on her face. "Hello, Ash'," she murmured softly, sticking a bookmark in her thick novel.
"So, Ana, what's the latest read?" she jibed gently, sitting down on a plushy couch beside Melissa.
Flipping through the many pages of the book, Anana smiled, holding it up. Written in a loopy, gold script, Helen covered a good part of the cover.
"It's about Helen of Troy," she recited eagerly. "A story about her and the events around her time – I have always loved Grecian history and mythology."
Grinning, Ashley got up and grabbed herself breakfast along with a mug of steaming coffee – black, not how she usually took her caffeine, but she had been hit by a sudden craving for it. Wandering back to the little table the three shared, she sat down and ate slowly, listening to her friend's conversation.
"Yes, yes," Melissa replied impatiently. "But here, listen to this, I overheard Ms. Harvard talking to Mrs. Miro about some sort of big event here at AMC."
"…"
Seeing the perplexed look on Ashley's face, and the distracted one on Ana's, Mel looked at them eagerly. "Don't you see? This is something big! I mean, they sounded seriously excited!"
"It's probably just some student with a lot of talent," Ana replied casually, thumbing through her book now.
Glancing at each other, the other two exchanged knowing looks. They both knew that their Asian friend's ambition lay not in clothing design specifically, but in painting, in drawing, in sketches, in watercolor, in art. And she was good at it - that and her ambition for art had gotten her in this school. But it came as no surprise that she wasn't excited about this event.
Opening her mouth, Ashley was about to comment on the event, when a sharp whistle blast cut into the thick chatter and laughter. Efficiently, it silenced the talk into an abrupt silence.
Looking up, the former ranger saw Mrs. Miro and Ms. Harvard standing on the stage at the front of the room. The latter smiled as she let go of the whistle she was holding.
"Morning, my pupils!" she declared, raising her arms to acknowledge everyone in the Hall. "I have an announcement to make!" The restless rustling in the Hall calmed to an expectant silence.
"To begin with, Mrs. Cethel is coming here to AMC to present a prize to one gifted student at this university!"
The two fashion aspirer's cast a surprised look over at their artist friend who was stifling the hints of a smile on her face as she lazily ruffled the pages of her book, keeping the corner of her eye and an ear on the two teachers.
"But what special student?" she continued, a secretive smile on her face.
The entire Hall seemed to perk up upon hearing that, wanting their own name to be said; the place was tense with a hopeful and expectant stillness.
Turning slightly, the Creative Design teacher gestured at the director of the school. "Cala?"
Smiling warmly, Mrs. Miro began to speak…
-----
I was so happy; carefree, joyful, wanting… stupid. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! I can't believe, after I found everything out that it would still be all right.
-----
In The Past: Three ½ Months Ago
Rubbing her eyes wearily, Ashley continued to sketch out an outfit. Sleepily, she lightly moved the pencil over the paper when her hand slipped and a strange sensation overtook her.
Hunching her shoulders, she laid a hand gently on her abdomen. Thinking, only a little wistfully, of her once-flat belly, she sighed, glancing back down at her paper.
A low growl of frustration grew in her throat as she noted, with little satisfaction, the dark pencil mark that cut through the elegant dress design, almost like the beginning of a large X. Closing her eyes, Ashley blindly crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the general direction of the trashcan – which, at this point, was becoming more like a recycling bin.
I've probably killed off half the Amazon by now, she thought ruefully, but a surge of determination shot through her and she sat up again, pulling out another sheaf of paper, sharpening her pencil to a slightly dull tip – perfect for making those faint, professional-like lines with – and began again.
There was a reason for this. A reason for the obsessive study habit that was overtaking the school…
flashback
Here at AMC, we like to challenge our students. Make them really think about what modern, fresh designs will sweep through society and create a new trend – or the vintage, classic designs that will never die out." Mrs. Miro grinned at the students. "So, we – and you – are now going to put everything on the line and search for that perfect design. That perfect outfit. The perfect line of clothing. Over the course of the rest of the next few months, we'll be holding something almost like a reality show. You'll receive more details in class, but essentially, it goes like this: Students will create a design within the categories supplied and in the end, a panel of experienced fashion designers will select the two they think show the most potential and have the respective students battle it out in the Creative Room…" She paused for a moment, a rueful smile lighting her face. "Goodness, listen to me! I sound like a reality show host – or a commercial."
Ms. Harvard hastily took over and added loudly, "That one lucky student that is chosen at the end will receive a prize that every aspiring fashion designer could only dream for – their own line of clothing and trademark brand, endorsed by Anneliese Cethel herself." Smiling at the stunned students, the Creative Design teacher blew her whistle again, softer this time, and bellowed loudly.
"Now get to class!"
Ashley swallowed the rest of her coffee hurriedly, making a face at the cold remains left at the bottom, and stood up, brushing herself off.
end flashback
And that was how she found herself here. Like this.
Pushing herself beyond what she knew she could do.
This was more than just fighting to protect her world.
This was a dream she'd had ever since her elementary school art teacher had held up her drawing in front of the class and declared, "Ms. Hammond here has talent!"
Ever since her middle school science teacher had added a bonus point commending her skillful water cycle portrayal.
Ever since her ex-boyfriend from high school had sneeringly told her that she would only be a Girl. Never a Woman with Talent and Skill. But a cheerleader. Someone to be looked at and admired from afar.
Ever since then, she had desperately wanted to know that she could do something else… something more. So she had turned to the old art projects that enthusiastically declared "You've got talent!" and the grade sheets that proudly told her "Great eye for line and color" and the sketches drawn in free time, in the privacy of her room or the soothing hands of nature that unfailingly said "This is what I love to do". And with that, she had signed up for Art and Design class come her junior year. And little by little, a talent had sprung forth.
This is what she wanted to do.
This is what she loved to do.
This is what she had to do.
Setting her jaw, the brunette pulled an energy bar from the mini-fridge along with a bottle of water and began to draw again.
She hadn't been a Power Ranger for nothing.
----------
"You're pushing yourself, Ash," the soft voice informed her flatly over the phone.
"I know… but…" Voice choked with sobs, she trailed off, trying her best to suppress the wave of tears forming in her eyes.
"No, listen!" Karone exclaimed. "This can't be good for you or the baby – I know this is your dream, but… think about it." Her voice softened considerably as she added, much more calmly, "Think about your baby."
Nodding, Ashley took a deep breath and made up her mind about something she'd been agonizing over the past few days.
"I'm coming home."
----------
"Uhh, I think that's the last of it." The burly designer heaved a duffel bag into the back of a mini-van. Flashing him a grateful smile, the young brunette sighed softly. Leaning back against the vibrant multihued car, she tilted her head up to embrace the burning heat of the Californian sun.
"Mmm… Thanks, Matt. Couldn't have done it without you."
"No problem, Ashley. You got enough things to deal with right now – wouldn't want you hurting something."
Laughing slightly, the woman shook her hair out and opened the door to the driver's seat.
"Thanks again," she whispered, a small smile on her face.
Nodding, he went back inside… and two figures from off to the side came forward.
"Hey, Ashley," one whispered quietly.
"Hi," she breathed back, her voice little more than a whisper as she slowly closed the door again.
The other one stood motionless to the side, her face stoic, eyes glimmering with unshed tears.
"Hey," Ashley murmured, leaning out slightly to lay a hand on her shoulder. "C'mon," she sighed. "Don't be mad…"
Pressing her lips tighter together, the blonde woman squinted, turning her face upward slightly.
The other one, a dark-haired woman tilted her head and sighed heavily. "Guys," she whispered, her voice broken. "We can't leave angry… We just can't…"
"I'll miss you!" Ashley declared, a single tear wetting her eyes. "But I have to go," she continued more quietly.
"We know," Ana acknowledged, leaning her head on Mel's shoulder. "Good luck Ash," she offered softly.
A moment of silence passed between them, and Ashley cleared her throat awkwardly.
"Well… I guess this is… bye guys." And with that abruptness, she turned away and climbed into the car, starting the engine, tears clouding her vision.
"Wait." A trembling voice stopped her and the shuddering vehicle slowly stilled as Ashley looked out the rolled down window towards Mel. Smiling shakily, Ashley nodded encouragingly.
Taking a deep breath, the blonde swallowed her pride and held out a file folder. Seeing her confused look, she explained, "These are your sketches – the ones that you wanted to throw out?" Seeing a look of understanding dawn slowly, she continued, "They're really good, Ash… I know that… with the baby… you can't do the contest anymore, but don't' give up. There's something there. And… uh…" A faint blush colored her cheeks, but her voice was stronger as she spoke, her tone almost suggestive. "There's a wedding dress design in there – that I made – in case… y'know…"
Giggling, Ana grinned at them. "Make sure to tell us when the baby shower is," she informed the former ranger seriously.
"I will – you'll be the first to know!" Ashley declared before her voice softened and she leaned out the window as far as she dared to wrap her arms around the two.
"Keep me updated – and I'll be rooting for you, Mel."
"You just concentrate on taking care of yourself."
"Three meals a day with eight servings of vegetables and three servings of water."
"Other way around, Mel."
"You guys just aren't going to let me go, are you?"
"God, we're going to miss you, Ash!"
Shaking her head, Ashley started the engine and slowly began to back away, the exhaust clouding up the shaded figure of her two friends.
Tears once again began to gather in her eyes as she drove down the road. But this time they were happy.
----------
Pulling into the driveway, Ashley sighed, leaning her head back. She was finally home…
Fumbling with her keys, she painstakingly got out of the seat, stretching out her stiff legs. Walking up the pathway that she used to step on everyday, she paused at the door. She was tired and hungry, she didn't care at all about her belongings in the van, it was getting dark, but… she knew that they would still be up.
Taking a deep breath, she knocked.
----------
She was happy. That was the simple fact. She had never felt more content here, right here where she belonged: in the arms of the man she loved. She had never felt safer or more loved. She loved him. It was as simple as that.
Karone had opened the door with a knowing smile on her face. They had all greeted her with open arms. Loving arms. Caring arms. She wouldn't forget AMC, but she knew that she had made the right choice.
It hadn't taken long for them to fall back into their steady routine. She thought she had seen Cassie toss her quizzical glances with a raised eyebrow, but she had yet to tell anyone but Karone about her pregnancy. She wanted Andros to find out first.
And here she was.
"Andros?" she whispered in a hushed voice, aware that most people were sleeping.
"Yeah, Ash?" her murmured back sleepily.
"Sit up," she commanded firmly, pushing herself up as well. "I want you completely awake."
Rolling his eyes, he smiled gently and willingly complied, trying to humor her. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times, trying to knock the sleepiness out of him as Ashley turned on a lamp.
"So, what's this big news?"
"I… - now don't freak – I couldn't figure out when to tell you so… Andros, I'm pregnant."
Surprisingly, he didn't seem too shocked at the news; instead, he just hugged her and whispered in her ear. "I love you – and we'll love this baby. So much." Then, pulling back, he cast her a sheepish grin and continued. "Well, I couldn't figure out when to ask you this, so…" Reaching underneath his pillow, he pulled out a small velvet box.
"Ashley… I love you, more than anything. You brought something back to me, and you made me feel like I've never felt before. Marry me?"
"Oh… god…" This time, it was Ashley's turn to be shocked. "Yes," she cried, close to tears. "Yes, yes, yes!" she exclaimed, not caring that Karone and Zhane (who were sharing the house with Andros) might wake up. Thankfully, Zhane slept like a log, and Karone had grown accustomed to sleeping through his snores.
Relieved, Andros drew her into an embrace before sliding the engagement ring on her finger. "Now that that's done with…"
"Did you really think I was going to say no?" she teased, twisting the ring absentmindedly and admiring it in the faint glow of the lamp.
Smiling gently, he brushed his lips across her forehead and whispered three words.
"I love you."
-----
I thought everything would be all right then. Life seemed perfect; me and Andros, happily engaged with a baby on the way. Everything I had ever dreamed was there. A faint smile covered Ashley's face, before it fell. Until then…
-----
In the Past: Two Months Ago
It was yet another lazy day. For the past month and a half, the others had been insistently making her lie down, rest, and 'stay off her feet'. Lounging on the sofa, Ashley laid her head back and sighed happily, a smile spreading on her face as she remembered, so vividly, that night after she had come back to Angel Grove. Lifting her head, she opened her eyes and admired the simple ring Andros had given her.
It was a simple gem – the same kind that was in her necklace – surrounded by tiny rubies, all set on a silver ring. She smiled wistfully at it, remembering her teen years where she envisioned a fantasy love – the romantic proposal, the five carat diamond ring, a blissful engagement and then… She sighed happily. She may not have gotten that, but she wouldn't give up what she had right now for anything.
The door opened and she looked up, a smile on her face.
"Andros!" she exclaimed, delight evident in her voice. "How was your day?"
He cast her a small smile and walked over, sitting down next to her as she sat up, wrapping her arms around him.
"Better," he admitted, "Now that I'm with you."
"You better be glad I'm in a good mood," Ashley mumbled, curled up against him. "Or I might just take that the wrong way."
"Oh?" he asked softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "How so?"
"You never know the things hormones will do to you," the brunette retorted easily. "So what happened today?"
His face contorted into a grimace and Andros slumped down slightly. "I'd rather not-"
Ashley scoffed, slapping his arm. "Oh no, you don't – you are going to tell me every last detail or so help me, I will… do something you won't like."
He chuckled softly and pressed his lips to her cheek. "Forget about it – let's not ruin this perfectly nice day."
She arched an eyebrow at him, but her frown dissolved into giggles as he began to run his fingers lightly up her sides, grinning wickedly upon seeing her uncontrollable giggles.
"S-Stop!" she choked out, between fits of laughter.
He smiled at her and leaned down, pressing his lips to hers in a tender kiss. Ashley sighed in reply and responded eagerly.
"I love you," she whispered tenderly against his lips.
"I love you too, Ash," he replied lovingly, pressing a chaste peck to her cheek before sliding off her and standing up, offering her his hand.
She grinned and walked – waddled – past him. "We shouldn't keep the others waiting!"
----------
What is this? Ashley's heart went numb at the sight of the data chip and their corresponding papers. Scanning them slowly, she saw charts and graphs, detailed paragraphs and… an assignment. Inhaling sharply, the brunette focused on that and read a Mission Briefing.
The retired Astro Rangers…On high alert…If need be… Go into battle… On loo- Wait? What! Ashley scowled suddenly and scanned back up the page, rereading the paragraph. Her heart clenched at the words and she found her lungs constricting, her vision blurring as she stared blankly at the words.
No… No… No… Not now. Not when life was going so well…She thought desperately, shaking her head violently, feeling bile rise up in her throat. Clutching the papers desperately, she rushed blindly to the bathroom and found herself on an impromptu (and completely unwelcome) date with the toilet.
Miserable and confused, Ashley pulled her hair back and sighed sorrowfully, stumbling over to the sink to rinse out her mouth.
Once satisfied, she lifted her head and stared into the mirror, only mildly shocked with what she saw. Blotchy, red eyes, pale, almost sickly, skin, and messed-up hair. She was a mess.
"Ashley?" The gentle voice of her fiancé soothed her for a moment … until she remembered. Eyes blazing, she turned to him abruptly, him staring at her vehemence with surprise.
"Is… something wrong?" he asked hesitantly, reaching out a hand for her. She pulled back, shaking his comforting touch forcefully.
"Yes, something's wrong," she replied tightly, shoving the papers at him. He took them slowly and scanned them quickly, his eyes widening in realization before hardening with determination.
"Ashley…" he began slowly, but was interrupted by her sharp outburst.
"Why? Why didn't you tell me! This is what you meant – this is what you didn't want to tell me about, right?" she demanded, hands set firmly on her hips.
"Ash…"
"Andros! You can't keep things like this from me because you don't want me to get upset or something!" she wailed, dropping her head in despair.
He bit his lip and reached for her. "I-"
He never got to finish his sentence though, because at that moment, she was overcome with a bout of dizziness and sank to the floor. The last thing she heard was a cry of her name.
A few hours later…Everything was black. There were voices, hushed ones, in the background. I caught snippets of their conversation, but was too tired to try and piece them together…
A cool hand smoothed back my hair…
A pair of soft lips pressed themselves to my forehead…
A few soft words, like a gentle breeze, were murmured lovingly to me…
"Ashley… I'm so sorry…"
----------
"Ash? Ash!" Groggily, she opened her eyes at the joyous exclamation. Blinking away the sleepiness, she found myself staring at six pairs of concerned eyes.
"Ash, you scared us! Don't do that again, y'hear me?" Cassie demanded.
Ashley laughed weakly. "Believe me, I don't plan on it."
Karone smiled and pressed her hand lightly to Zhane's back, steering him away. "C'mon guys, let's give them some privacy." She gestured to Andros and the others obliged, following her out of the small room.
"Andros…" She sighed softly, twining her fingers with his.
"Ashley – you can't believe how sorry I am… for not telling you… for letting you find out that way… for killing your goldfish while you were at AMC…" he trailed off thoughtfully and she smiled warmly at him, before the full realization of what he said hit her.
"What? You killed my goldfish while I was at Annmarcath?" she demanded, sitting up sharply.
He laughed, pushing her back down gently. "I was kidding!"
Ashley relaxed and laughed softly. "Good," she teased. "Because I don't even have a goldfish!"
He laughed too, before his expression turned somber. "Oh, Ash… I'm sorry."
She stared at him hard, eyes boring into him. "No more secrets, okay? Please?"
He reached out and hugged her close, rocking slowly. "I promise… I love you."
She smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek.
-----
Everything started going… downhill then. Ashley reflected bitterly. God, if I had known what was going to happen…
-----
In the Past: One Month Ago
There was a storm raging outside. Ashley curled up in bed, staring blindly out the window as forks of electric white lightning flashed outside. A dull expression on her face, she blinked away the solitary tear that rolled down her cheek.
It had begun.
Just hours ago, disturbances were sensed and… they left. Andros had convinced her to give the Yellow Astro Morpher to Karone, refusing to let her fight because of her… 'disability'. As she watched them leave, knowing in her heart that nothing good could come out of them leaving retirement, at that exact moment they teleported away, dark clouds rolled into the darkening sky and the low rumble of thunder could be heard.
She should have known it was a bad omen.
Over the next week or so, her relationship with her friends suffered. They were swept away with the adrenaline of being back in spandex, and she felt worthless, wanting so badly to be out there with them or have them back with her. As a result, she began to push them away, as they grew irritable with her.
Three weeks later, she hit the breaking point.
"Andros-"
"Not now; I have to finish these repor-" His voice broke off as she snatched the stack of papers from the desk and threw them carelessly to the side.
"No," she said flatly, arms crossed.
"Ashley," he said firmly, trudging over and picking up the papers. "This is important. I need to finish this… and…" he hesitated slightly before plowing on and adding, a little resentfully, "You know I don't have a lot of time these days."
She blinked. Once. Twice. Her eyes narrowed. "That's important!" she exclaimed. "What about me? Aren't I important!"
"Yes, bu-"
"But," she mocked. "There's always a 'but'" She took a quick step and grabbed ahold of the reports he held, tugging on them. "These… these… You spend more time with these reports and missions than you do with me!" she cried, pulling on them.
"That's not true!" he protested, though she could see the guilt in his eyes, before they hardened and his voice went cool. "But you know I have to do this. This is something that comes before everything else. Everything I as a person want or need."
"Before me?" she demanded, her voice rising in volume. "Andros, we left all this stuff behind when we retired! This stuff shouldn't come before other things!"
"But they do!" he exclaimed, attempting to rip the papers out of her surprisingly tight grip. "Whether you like it or not, some things are more important than your own needs!" Harshly, he repeated, "Than your own selfish needs!"
Her hands stilled and her eyes glazed over. Slowly, she let go of the papers and stepped backwards. "You're right," she said coolly. "I guess you're right…" Turning slightly, she walked away, pausing at the door. "Nice to know where you're priorities lie," she said tonelessly, though her voice was bitter and cold.
Andros could only watch as his fiancé walked away.
----------
One week. One whole week. She had barely looked at – let alone talked to – Andros, and the only time she spent with her friends was all awkward, mindless small talk.
Now, it was late night. The other six were gathered in the living room, talking softly about battle plans and tactics, slipping back into their roles as Defenders of the Universe so easily. Ashley watched from the side, hidden in shadow, her eyes sad and forlorn, wanting something she knew she could never have back.
She listened to their words become more hurried and quieter, spoken in panicked and frantic whispers. The pregnant brunette pressed her lips together before turning and stepping away.
"A-Ashley?" The hesitant, somewhat scratchy voice of her soon-to-be sister-in-law… Ashley bitterly looked down at her engagement ring – he had not asked for it back and she had not given it back. She didn't think she could handle such an encounter. Licking her dry lips, Ashley turned towards them, stepping partially into the room, the dim light throwing shadows over the walls.
She rested a hand on her swelling belly and nodded, waiting for them to talk.
"I – We-" Karone stammered slightly, a little taken aback at how calm Ashley seemed.
"We're going out to fight him," Cassie spoke up, standing slightly. "We want to get rid of him… once and for all." Ashley blinked at the statement and nodded slowly.
"I… see…" she murmured, her voice a little rusty.
"So… um… We-" Carlos stumbled over his words. "We thought you'd like to know."
She blinked and a faint smile curved her lips. "Thanks." She turned and walked away without another word.
That was what she regretted most.
That was what she was thinking of as she laid in bed, late that night, her stomach twisting and turning with regret and doubt. She sighed heavily, shifting uncomfortably, unconsciously longing for the warmth and safety she felt wrapped up in Andros's arms… No! she scolded. Bad Ashley!
Sitting up, she decided that she wasn't about to get any sleep tonight, what with the raging storm and her conflicting thoughts. So, draping a robe over her body, Ashley trudged into the kitchen, slowly making herself a cup of tea, caught in her thoughts.
Sipping it slowly, her thoughts turned to… Andros, her mind whispered, in sudden regret. Please be okay… I love you…Because it was true. Despite the past week, which had dragged by so slowly she felt as though it was purposefully prolonging her pain, she still loved him like she had all along. And she would give anything to tell him that. Of course –
A sharp pain shot through her, and the mug slipped out of her fingers, smashing on the floor, hot liquid pooling in a puddle. But she didn't care. Because all of a sudden, she could feel a flame flare to life in her mind; she could see three brightly colored telepathic signatures – and one, glowing with a crimson power, called to her, sang to her. It flickered, radiant with life and… love. It resonated with love. Love for her.
Oh, Andros… A single tear slid down her cheek. And she began to sob – but for an entirely different reason than before. She knew something was wrong. She knew something was terribly, horribly wrong for Andros, Karone and Zhane to lower their shields so completely and so suddenly.
Choking on her tears, Ashley made her decision. She was going after them. She didn't care that she probably wasn't wanted and definitely not needed, but… She had to tell them. Tell him. Because this was most likely the last chance she'd ever have. Rushing back to her bedroom as quickly as she could, she changed blindly and speed-waddled out of the apartment.
Driving blindly, she let her subconscious guide her to a deserted quarry just outside of town. Breathing heavily, Ashley clambered out of the car and stood there, watching the scene before her with horrified eyes.
Six figures were lying on the ground, unmorphed, struggling futilely as a dark figure draped in shadow approached them. Her mouth moving in a soundless scream, she dashed forward best she could, stopping just off the side of them.
"Andros!" she cried, panting as she stood there, eyes wide with sorrow and terror.
"Ashley…" he whispered, somehow finding the strength to pull himself up to a standing position.
"I'm sorry," she sobbed, taking a step forward, arms extended. "I'm so, so sorry."
As he stumbled forward, he questioned her furiously, his words running together in a slur of panic.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded. "This is dangerous! Go back! Get to safety!"
"I don't care!" she wailed, stepping forward so that they were almost touching. "I love you!" she cried. "I had to tell you…" she trailed off, a guilty, but firm look on her face.
Staring at her in shock, he licked his lips and spoke honestly. "I love you too," he choked. "And I'm sorry – don't forget me." Taking her in his arms one last time, they held each other in love and sorrow, knowing that this was the end, but not wanting to admit it.
Their lips met tentatively at first, but slowly moved together gracefully, igniting a passion that they hadn't felt with each other for so long.
Wrenching his lips from her's, he lightly pressed his lips to her forehead as his last gift to her and stepped back.
"Ready guys?" he asked, taking his place as leader of the Space Rangers.
"Ready!" they cried in unison and she could only watch as six glows of brightly colored light filled her vision and a fierce battle ensued. She could only stand there as they created a circle around the villain and extended their arms, balls of light surrounding them.
"This one's for you!" he cried.
"No!" she wailed rushing forward as they were preparing to sacrifice themselves to destroy him.
"Andros…!" she sobbed, finding herself thrown backwards as a large explosion rocked the air… and then…
Nothing.
It was still. So very still. The raging wind had clamed. The noises of the night had quieted. And her heart went numb and froze over.
A broken whisper pierced the air. "I love you…"
As the distant rumble of thunder broke her thoughts, she collapsed on her knees. The rain began to drizzle down on her, steadily growing heavier. She didn't care. She didn't notice. She let out a strangled cry of despair…
And her world as she knew it broke into pieces before her eyes.
-----
As she relieved memories of her past, only dry tears of hollow sorrow and grief slowly wet as they slid down her cheeks. They were so much; so much sorrow, so much grief, so much memory…
Somewhere along her recounts of the past seven months, the storm had stopped; only a light drizzle fell now. A cool summer breeze blew past her cheek, caressing it lightly with its warm comfort. Closing her eyes, she pushed away the silent offer to embrace a new life, and concentrated on what was left of her ragged existence.
A sharp kick at her abdomen brought her back with a soft gasp. A sudden, out of place smile spread slowly. Lightly placing her hand on the heavy roundness, she knew she had take hold of a new life, bringing her memories with her – and this child, a single loving memory of life.
And as she hugged the growing life within her best she could, unspoken words gave it meaning – a daughter. Her conscious told her it would be a girl. It would be healthy, happy. Her own bright looks, Andros's stubborn attitude, and the love of them all would live on inside her. Carrie Asha Minnie Hammond. Loved, life, loving memory… she'll be all of them, and so much more…
A newfound importance of life with her, Ashley Hammond stood up, looking involuntarily down at her left hand. A sparkling yellow jewel set in silver shone up at her. Smiling she hugged it close. She would always remember him – them – and she would never forget the bitter ending, or the sweet days of joy. But the new life – Both of them, her mind added, looking down at her round abdomen, couldn't cling desperately to a memory; no, it would honor and then move on. Just as she was doing.
Walking away, the last remembrances of her now former life was left behind sitting on a flat rock. The sun emerged, catching the glint of a silver hoop lain gently on the small boulder, a tiny forget-me-not adorning it. A whisper of wind curled around the band and gem, pushing it to plummet into the chasm below, the final resting place of Andros, Cassie, Carlos, T.J, Zhane, and Karone. And a single voice, twined with many, spoke.
We'll always be with you…
"So I won't give up,
No I won't break down.
Sooner than you think life turns around.
And I will be strong,
Even when it all goes wrong.
When I'm standing in the dark, I'll still believe…
Someone's watching over me…"
A/N 2:sigh: I know, I suck for killing Andros. I'm sorry! And I know it's sad... and it's kind of a pointless story... and the summery makes no sense... :shrug: I tried, didn't I? And if you reallyreallyreally hate me for not letting them be together in the end and for Ashley leaving behind her engagement ring... (I'm still wondering why I did that) well... BLAME THE PLOT HIPPOS! Okay. I'm done.
But now then, wish Rosa (Phantom Rogue) a VERYVERYVERY HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! (because this is about two weeks late... hehe...) And yes, Rosa, I'm veryveryvery sorry for dragging this out as long as I could, but... IT'S NOT ENTIRELY MY FAULT! (blame school and Chinese School... :glares:) Anyways, I hope this story as a whole makes up for all that.
Thanks for reading!