TITLE: Pride 1/5
AUTHOR: Mainframe
BETA: Akisawana
RATING: (PG - R) WARNING!
PAIRING: Watari/Tatsumi
Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is not of my creation and I make no money from this or other stories involving them. This is purely a non-profit fiction of my creation in honour of the books & anime. This storyline, however, is mine.
SUMMARY: Watari has been content for the last thirty years to watch a certain Kagetsukai and hide his feelings for him, but no more. However, Tatsumi misinterprets his friends advances and now it may be too late.
NOTES: This story is a five part mini and will not be continued after that point as I'm really trying to find my way back into writing, which I have been unable to do for the last year and a half and find myself disgustingly rusty. This is my first Yami no Matsuei fic and the characters are still very hard to write. My hope is that by the end of this story I'll have worked them out comfortably.
And I'd like to thank Akisawana for braving the grammatical nightmare that it my work and making it read as it should! 'Thank you!' ^_^
STORY WATCH: Just a few of the fics to catch my attention: 'The Doll' & 'Degree's of Separation' By Bonnejeanne and Laekin (Yes. It's official; I'm obsessed with their work!) 'The Trial' By Tessa Marlene is really, really hotting up and we've been left on a cliffhanger! *Cough, cough!* 'Shadows of Ourselves' By Amet is a must read! But then I recommend reading all this authors works! 'Roleplaying' By Leareth is one of my fav Tatsumi fic's. 'White Knight' By Penny Paperbrain is a three part, Muraki/Tatsumi pairing that is not for the faint-of-heart and I thank the author ten thousand times for it.
'Pride comes before a fall'
I ask him one final time why he's taken to acting like a child throwing a temper tantrum and watch as his amber eyes widen, then narrow, lips compress as he moves his head forward a fraction, just enough to allow his unbound hair to slide over broad shoulders and curtain his face.
That's another change I've noticed in my colleague of late, his hair, which he always maintained poorly, sloppily pulling it back into a ponytail for practicality, he now has taken to wearing loose. It annoys me how easily that mass of rich golden locks can distract me with such ease, the way the light loves to play, and make the many different hues sparkle and deepen in tone; the tips sway gracefully to mid-back as he putters around his lab oblivious to the effect it has on others. For I have even observed Tsuzuki- san absently playing with a loose lock, much to Watari's silent amusement, I noted, as the two gossip in the break-room. It, like my friend, is alive in every sense of the word bar the obvious and radiates that warmth to whoever is lucky enough to be near. Tsuzuki's smiles are mostly genuine when speaking with Watari.
I snap back to the present without knowing how long I have allowed my mind to wonder on such a trivial tangent and realise that my silence has made the situation all the more tense. Watari now wraps his arms around his thin waist in an unconscious display of protectiveness, lightly tugging his ever- present lab coat a little tighter to his body and further reminds me of a certain kicked-puppy routine another friend uses on me quite effectively. I do not understand Watari's mood but I will not allow him to manipulate me as I allow Tsuzuki-san to do or soon the whole department will be in chaos and my carefully balanced finance juggling will be for nothing.
'Pride comes before a fall Watari-san' I say in a measured tone as I try to defuse this situation of his own making the best way I know how. But as he turns from me and opens the door, and storms out, allowing it to slam shut behind him without even a backwards glance. I feel my surety slipping, just whose pride had I been speaking of? After all, I realise it was not very considerate of me to criticise his living habits the first time I am invited to his apartment no matter how many decades we have known one another. I just assumed he would take the small critique as he takes everything, with a laugh and a smile and some sarcastic comment.
I know I'll blame myself for this moment. Right now, where it's still within my power to change things, I remain rooted to the spot in the middle of his apartment made so much duller by his absence, muted as the silence shuffles in and I am left to wonder whether I missed something important just then and whether I am expected to stay and wait for him to cool down and return or leave immediately. I adjust my glasses for the third time in as many minutes as I try to understand what just happened.
The argument, if you can even call it such, started out over a few poorly chosen words, poorly chosen by myself as had I known they would affect him so I would have remained silent, after all how was I to know that Watari would be so sensitive about my criticism of how disorganised he chose to keep his apartment?
'Watari, this place is kept worse then your lab. Even Tsuzuki-san's apartment is more organised than this.' I said as I automatically began to pick up the numerous articles of clothing strewn across the sitting-room floor and piled them on one of three cushioned chairs surrounding the T.V. I expected to hear laughter, that wonderfully warm little chuckle that he does when something amuses him, though often I am not sure whether it's my words that amuse him or myself. What I hear instead is the breaking of glass as he drops the wineglass he's just plucked from the lattice-glassed cupboard next to the fridge.
I'm in the kitchen before I register that I'm moving and am confronted by a furious Watari who turns on me and demands to know why I always do that? I'm so shocked by this sudden outburst of anger directed towards me that I pull back and reply, 'Do what exactly, Watari-san?'
'San?' He whispers as he breezes past me back into the sitting-room to stand and observe his now laundry-free floor before turning to once again remaining silent and in an expectant manner, waiting, for what I don't know and by now my own anger is rising. After all, it is not as if I do not have other matters that I could be attending this evening, the quarterly budget report is due yet again and I am going to have to do some serious reworkings to swallow most of Tsuzuki's budgetary indiscretions, again.
I have never been anything other than straight with people, I like to know where I stand and quiet frankly Watari's adolescent behaviour has me baffled, he invited me here for dinner and I agreed. I did not come here to play guessing games.
'Watari-san, either tell me what it is I have done to offend you so that we can move forward with our arrangement this evening or I will bid you a good evening as I have much that still requires my attention at the office'. I readjust my tie even though it doesn't need the attention, I'm hoping he will tell me this is one of his less obvious jokes and we can get back to dinner, as the Take-away will need re-heating if it's not served soon.
'San'. He repeats louder this time. 'Whatever happened to just plain Watari?' He draws a deep calming breath before continuing. 'You need to get out of that office of yours, Tatsumi, it's not healthy to stay in there for as many hours as you are inclined to without a break', He pauses again and worries his bottom lip but I remain silent as I know he has more to say and is using the time to think. 'But you're making it sound as if you accepted my invitation out of obligation'.
If it were not for my preoccupation with the budget report that needed to be completed and presented in a week, I would have gladly stayed and argued this out until I discovered exactly what was bothering Watari, but I just didn't have the time. I had thought that enjoyable company and not having to go home and cook coupled with an early night's rest would help prepare me for the work ahead. As I reach to retrieve my jacket carefully laid over the back of the couch his hand clamps down on my arm, stilling my movement. His palm feels cold through the thin cotton of my shirtsleeve, yet it quickly dampens with sweat; I look up from observing those elegant, long fingers and raise a brow for explanation.
'So that's it, we have words and now your leaving?' he accuses.
'Yes. You're acting like a child throwing a tantrum and I have work waiting for me so are you going to tell me what's wrong or do I leave?' It's a threat and we both know it but I'm suddenly very tired. Watari has always been someone I could rely on to be honest and forthcoming-especially when it comes to lab repair request forms and spiking the coffee, and showing off his many useless inventions. This whole affair is highly out of character and has disturbed me more than it should. I must be more exhausted than I realised, as normally I'd be handling this better.
He snatches his hand back as if burned and for a moment he allows me to see the pain my words have caused, and it's enough to exacerbate my already painfully knotted stomach before he takes several steps back and the contours of his face smooth out, but his eyes are still molten lava, testimony to his emotional state.
He remains silent and that's when I had to throw in my little comment about pride and it was enough to tip the scale as I watched him leave his own apartment, no longer able to stand my presence. Although I cannot help the pettiness in me wondering did he leave so that he could be the one to walk away? Ridiculous as that sounds, it still leaves me in Watari's apartment with 003, who had remained quiet until that point seated on the windowsill next to the miniature potted bamboo, she's furiously dive-bombing me now, small polished talons raised to cause maximum damage as I duck and dodge and thank Enma no one is here to witness such a sight.
My decision made for me, I leave quickly. As I pull the door closed, making sure it clicks, movement in my right peripheral vision draws my attention. I turn in time to see 003 zoom out the half-open window and disappear into the sea of the sakura forest that covers ninety-eight percent of Meifu.
Watari must have gone that way and as my breath crystallises in the air in front of me I remember that Watari is particularly susceptible to the cold and even through one turtleneck, one loose knit baggy and his trademark labcoat he would still be too cold. But too much has happened unexplained for one night, he's a grown man after all and quite capable of taking care of himself. So I turn in the opposite direction and begin to walk and I chalk it all up to Watari having a hard day at the lab, I know that he has been pulling extra shifts to research the case Wakaba and Terazuma are currently working.
It's a level two case involving a Demon who named itself 'Death Coach' after an English superstitious belief that death collects souls at midnight in a coach; it amused the demon who, in order to stay alive, devours human souls by luring the unsuspecting victim into a black Mercedes-Benz under the pretence of being a foreigner needing someone to show him the local nightlife. Original.
Even in this day and age it never seizes to amaze me how trusting humans can be, or should that be naive? Maybe a little of both, things were different when I was still alive, trust could get you killed quicker than any illness and I guess that is still ingrained in me. People like Tsuzuki are so quick to trust and it brings them nothing but disappointment and pain, I shall never understand it.
So far there have been seven victims and the information Watari was able to hack out of the restricted files has proved invaluable. Restricted files. I'd rather not think about what that involves and hope nothing comes of it.
Watari certainly seems not to care about breaking rules when needed; it will definitely get the idiot into trouble one of these days but for the time being I shall keep up my pretence; as far as he is concerned I do not know of his trespasses and I want to keep it that way.
Yes. I guess that must be the reason, even Watari can be pushed too far and looking back at it now my comment about his mess was not fair given how much time, unpaid I realise, work has demanded of him and I know for a fact that was the first time he'd been home in three days, I'll apologise to him in the morning. But it does highlight another issue that I may have overlooked had this disagreement not happened; he cannot be allowed to get himself into such a state. After all the sixth is a quiet district but the cases are usually very demanding and the last thing I want is one of my field agents to be so sleep deprived that they start making mistakes that put themselves and others in danger. I think it's time I enforced a few days holiday on him. Either that or incur the wrath of 003, that ball of feathers is vicious!
I'm finally home, for some reason the half-an-hour walk from Watari's to mine took twice as long as it should and I realise as I stare at my front door that I had meant to go back to the office to try and lessen my workload for tomorrow. It's pointless to go there now, too much time has been wasted already and, as my stomach so rudely reminds me, I still have yet to eat. But even under its loud protest I find myself walking past the kitchen straight into the bedroom, opening my top bedside drawer, setting out my pyjamas and collecting my toothbrush.
Half way through my shower I begin to feel some of the muscles in my shoulders relax, but not enough, and instead of the relief I should feel I end up drying off and dressing on auto-pilot and collapsing into bed still pondering what happened tonight and more drained than I have a right to be.
Just as I feel sleep pulling me down I remember the hurt warring with anger on Watari's face when I tagged on the honorific to his name and the resignation in his voice as he whispered 'San'.
That tone of voice I have heard before from Tsuzuki-san when I have comforted him after he has been forced to take someone's life, someone not yet ready to move on or a child who does not understand death or why their parents cannot come with them.
Bereaved.
Such despair, Yutaka.over me?
To be continued.
Right, hope you like it. Don't worry if Watari doesn't say much in this chapter it's his point of view next chapter and boy does he have a lot to say. So all those extended silence this chapter make more sense when filled in next chapter. And before you say it I already agree; Tatsumi does have a stick up his butt and obviously needs better glasses!
AUTHOR: Mainframe
BETA: Akisawana
RATING: (PG - R) WARNING!
PAIRING: Watari/Tatsumi
Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is not of my creation and I make no money from this or other stories involving them. This is purely a non-profit fiction of my creation in honour of the books & anime. This storyline, however, is mine.
SUMMARY: Watari has been content for the last thirty years to watch a certain Kagetsukai and hide his feelings for him, but no more. However, Tatsumi misinterprets his friends advances and now it may be too late.
NOTES: This story is a five part mini and will not be continued after that point as I'm really trying to find my way back into writing, which I have been unable to do for the last year and a half and find myself disgustingly rusty. This is my first Yami no Matsuei fic and the characters are still very hard to write. My hope is that by the end of this story I'll have worked them out comfortably.
And I'd like to thank Akisawana for braving the grammatical nightmare that it my work and making it read as it should! 'Thank you!' ^_^
STORY WATCH: Just a few of the fics to catch my attention: 'The Doll' & 'Degree's of Separation' By Bonnejeanne and Laekin (Yes. It's official; I'm obsessed with their work!) 'The Trial' By Tessa Marlene is really, really hotting up and we've been left on a cliffhanger! *Cough, cough!* 'Shadows of Ourselves' By Amet is a must read! But then I recommend reading all this authors works! 'Roleplaying' By Leareth is one of my fav Tatsumi fic's. 'White Knight' By Penny Paperbrain is a three part, Muraki/Tatsumi pairing that is not for the faint-of-heart and I thank the author ten thousand times for it.
'Pride comes before a fall'
I ask him one final time why he's taken to acting like a child throwing a temper tantrum and watch as his amber eyes widen, then narrow, lips compress as he moves his head forward a fraction, just enough to allow his unbound hair to slide over broad shoulders and curtain his face.
That's another change I've noticed in my colleague of late, his hair, which he always maintained poorly, sloppily pulling it back into a ponytail for practicality, he now has taken to wearing loose. It annoys me how easily that mass of rich golden locks can distract me with such ease, the way the light loves to play, and make the many different hues sparkle and deepen in tone; the tips sway gracefully to mid-back as he putters around his lab oblivious to the effect it has on others. For I have even observed Tsuzuki- san absently playing with a loose lock, much to Watari's silent amusement, I noted, as the two gossip in the break-room. It, like my friend, is alive in every sense of the word bar the obvious and radiates that warmth to whoever is lucky enough to be near. Tsuzuki's smiles are mostly genuine when speaking with Watari.
I snap back to the present without knowing how long I have allowed my mind to wonder on such a trivial tangent and realise that my silence has made the situation all the more tense. Watari now wraps his arms around his thin waist in an unconscious display of protectiveness, lightly tugging his ever- present lab coat a little tighter to his body and further reminds me of a certain kicked-puppy routine another friend uses on me quite effectively. I do not understand Watari's mood but I will not allow him to manipulate me as I allow Tsuzuki-san to do or soon the whole department will be in chaos and my carefully balanced finance juggling will be for nothing.
'Pride comes before a fall Watari-san' I say in a measured tone as I try to defuse this situation of his own making the best way I know how. But as he turns from me and opens the door, and storms out, allowing it to slam shut behind him without even a backwards glance. I feel my surety slipping, just whose pride had I been speaking of? After all, I realise it was not very considerate of me to criticise his living habits the first time I am invited to his apartment no matter how many decades we have known one another. I just assumed he would take the small critique as he takes everything, with a laugh and a smile and some sarcastic comment.
I know I'll blame myself for this moment. Right now, where it's still within my power to change things, I remain rooted to the spot in the middle of his apartment made so much duller by his absence, muted as the silence shuffles in and I am left to wonder whether I missed something important just then and whether I am expected to stay and wait for him to cool down and return or leave immediately. I adjust my glasses for the third time in as many minutes as I try to understand what just happened.
The argument, if you can even call it such, started out over a few poorly chosen words, poorly chosen by myself as had I known they would affect him so I would have remained silent, after all how was I to know that Watari would be so sensitive about my criticism of how disorganised he chose to keep his apartment?
'Watari, this place is kept worse then your lab. Even Tsuzuki-san's apartment is more organised than this.' I said as I automatically began to pick up the numerous articles of clothing strewn across the sitting-room floor and piled them on one of three cushioned chairs surrounding the T.V. I expected to hear laughter, that wonderfully warm little chuckle that he does when something amuses him, though often I am not sure whether it's my words that amuse him or myself. What I hear instead is the breaking of glass as he drops the wineglass he's just plucked from the lattice-glassed cupboard next to the fridge.
I'm in the kitchen before I register that I'm moving and am confronted by a furious Watari who turns on me and demands to know why I always do that? I'm so shocked by this sudden outburst of anger directed towards me that I pull back and reply, 'Do what exactly, Watari-san?'
'San?' He whispers as he breezes past me back into the sitting-room to stand and observe his now laundry-free floor before turning to once again remaining silent and in an expectant manner, waiting, for what I don't know and by now my own anger is rising. After all, it is not as if I do not have other matters that I could be attending this evening, the quarterly budget report is due yet again and I am going to have to do some serious reworkings to swallow most of Tsuzuki's budgetary indiscretions, again.
I have never been anything other than straight with people, I like to know where I stand and quiet frankly Watari's adolescent behaviour has me baffled, he invited me here for dinner and I agreed. I did not come here to play guessing games.
'Watari-san, either tell me what it is I have done to offend you so that we can move forward with our arrangement this evening or I will bid you a good evening as I have much that still requires my attention at the office'. I readjust my tie even though it doesn't need the attention, I'm hoping he will tell me this is one of his less obvious jokes and we can get back to dinner, as the Take-away will need re-heating if it's not served soon.
'San'. He repeats louder this time. 'Whatever happened to just plain Watari?' He draws a deep calming breath before continuing. 'You need to get out of that office of yours, Tatsumi, it's not healthy to stay in there for as many hours as you are inclined to without a break', He pauses again and worries his bottom lip but I remain silent as I know he has more to say and is using the time to think. 'But you're making it sound as if you accepted my invitation out of obligation'.
If it were not for my preoccupation with the budget report that needed to be completed and presented in a week, I would have gladly stayed and argued this out until I discovered exactly what was bothering Watari, but I just didn't have the time. I had thought that enjoyable company and not having to go home and cook coupled with an early night's rest would help prepare me for the work ahead. As I reach to retrieve my jacket carefully laid over the back of the couch his hand clamps down on my arm, stilling my movement. His palm feels cold through the thin cotton of my shirtsleeve, yet it quickly dampens with sweat; I look up from observing those elegant, long fingers and raise a brow for explanation.
'So that's it, we have words and now your leaving?' he accuses.
'Yes. You're acting like a child throwing a tantrum and I have work waiting for me so are you going to tell me what's wrong or do I leave?' It's a threat and we both know it but I'm suddenly very tired. Watari has always been someone I could rely on to be honest and forthcoming-especially when it comes to lab repair request forms and spiking the coffee, and showing off his many useless inventions. This whole affair is highly out of character and has disturbed me more than it should. I must be more exhausted than I realised, as normally I'd be handling this better.
He snatches his hand back as if burned and for a moment he allows me to see the pain my words have caused, and it's enough to exacerbate my already painfully knotted stomach before he takes several steps back and the contours of his face smooth out, but his eyes are still molten lava, testimony to his emotional state.
He remains silent and that's when I had to throw in my little comment about pride and it was enough to tip the scale as I watched him leave his own apartment, no longer able to stand my presence. Although I cannot help the pettiness in me wondering did he leave so that he could be the one to walk away? Ridiculous as that sounds, it still leaves me in Watari's apartment with 003, who had remained quiet until that point seated on the windowsill next to the miniature potted bamboo, she's furiously dive-bombing me now, small polished talons raised to cause maximum damage as I duck and dodge and thank Enma no one is here to witness such a sight.
My decision made for me, I leave quickly. As I pull the door closed, making sure it clicks, movement in my right peripheral vision draws my attention. I turn in time to see 003 zoom out the half-open window and disappear into the sea of the sakura forest that covers ninety-eight percent of Meifu.
Watari must have gone that way and as my breath crystallises in the air in front of me I remember that Watari is particularly susceptible to the cold and even through one turtleneck, one loose knit baggy and his trademark labcoat he would still be too cold. But too much has happened unexplained for one night, he's a grown man after all and quite capable of taking care of himself. So I turn in the opposite direction and begin to walk and I chalk it all up to Watari having a hard day at the lab, I know that he has been pulling extra shifts to research the case Wakaba and Terazuma are currently working.
It's a level two case involving a Demon who named itself 'Death Coach' after an English superstitious belief that death collects souls at midnight in a coach; it amused the demon who, in order to stay alive, devours human souls by luring the unsuspecting victim into a black Mercedes-Benz under the pretence of being a foreigner needing someone to show him the local nightlife. Original.
Even in this day and age it never seizes to amaze me how trusting humans can be, or should that be naive? Maybe a little of both, things were different when I was still alive, trust could get you killed quicker than any illness and I guess that is still ingrained in me. People like Tsuzuki are so quick to trust and it brings them nothing but disappointment and pain, I shall never understand it.
So far there have been seven victims and the information Watari was able to hack out of the restricted files has proved invaluable. Restricted files. I'd rather not think about what that involves and hope nothing comes of it.
Watari certainly seems not to care about breaking rules when needed; it will definitely get the idiot into trouble one of these days but for the time being I shall keep up my pretence; as far as he is concerned I do not know of his trespasses and I want to keep it that way.
Yes. I guess that must be the reason, even Watari can be pushed too far and looking back at it now my comment about his mess was not fair given how much time, unpaid I realise, work has demanded of him and I know for a fact that was the first time he'd been home in three days, I'll apologise to him in the morning. But it does highlight another issue that I may have overlooked had this disagreement not happened; he cannot be allowed to get himself into such a state. After all the sixth is a quiet district but the cases are usually very demanding and the last thing I want is one of my field agents to be so sleep deprived that they start making mistakes that put themselves and others in danger. I think it's time I enforced a few days holiday on him. Either that or incur the wrath of 003, that ball of feathers is vicious!
I'm finally home, for some reason the half-an-hour walk from Watari's to mine took twice as long as it should and I realise as I stare at my front door that I had meant to go back to the office to try and lessen my workload for tomorrow. It's pointless to go there now, too much time has been wasted already and, as my stomach so rudely reminds me, I still have yet to eat. But even under its loud protest I find myself walking past the kitchen straight into the bedroom, opening my top bedside drawer, setting out my pyjamas and collecting my toothbrush.
Half way through my shower I begin to feel some of the muscles in my shoulders relax, but not enough, and instead of the relief I should feel I end up drying off and dressing on auto-pilot and collapsing into bed still pondering what happened tonight and more drained than I have a right to be.
Just as I feel sleep pulling me down I remember the hurt warring with anger on Watari's face when I tagged on the honorific to his name and the resignation in his voice as he whispered 'San'.
That tone of voice I have heard before from Tsuzuki-san when I have comforted him after he has been forced to take someone's life, someone not yet ready to move on or a child who does not understand death or why their parents cannot come with them.
Bereaved.
Such despair, Yutaka.over me?
To be continued.
Right, hope you like it. Don't worry if Watari doesn't say much in this chapter it's his point of view next chapter and boy does he have a lot to say. So all those extended silence this chapter make more sense when filled in next chapter. And before you say it I already agree; Tatsumi does have a stick up his butt and obviously needs better glasses!