June's eighteenth birthday was over. She did invite everyone she knew because she didn't want anyone to feel left out, but she kept the birthday party sober. She said she didn't want to make it anything too big.
Karkat didn't understand what was so special about someone's ninth wriggling day, but Dave had explained to him that in human culture it was usually a bit more important than other birthdays.
At first, June's house was packed with people, but as the afternoon ticked on, it began to empty until only a few people were left. Jade, Dave, Rose, Kanaya, Jane and Karkat offered to stay and help clean up.
The cleaning was almost done when Dave announced:
"Oh crap, just remembered I had some really cool dude stuff to do right now at this exact moment, and that I have to leave."
"Uh…okay?" June replied. "Well uh…bye, Dave, I guess? Thanks for coming!"
"Bye June…I just hope no one is here to notice the sigmundian fuck ups I'll be dopping during this super awesome thing I have to do…"
Rose perked up, catching on. "Oh yeah! Sorry June, but I'm going to have to excuse myself too. Someone has got to be out there to catalogue the humongous Freudian slips my brother's about to spurt out."
June quirked an eyebrow, and directed a glance at Kanaya, hoping for an explanation. Kanaya offered her a wide smile and eyed Rose and Dave, before joining them by the front door.
Jade then exclaimed: "Oh no! I have to feed my dog…"
"Your dog came back?" June asked, bewildered.
"Uh! I mean…my oven!"
"Your dog that is…in the oven?"
"Um yes...That's exactly it. Bye!"
"Guess I'm the only one left to clean," beamed Jane, before Jade elbowed her in the stomach. She released a thick 'OOF' before clarifying:
"Right! I have some…important business-y…business to attend to. See ya!"
June's friends all exited the house.
"Happy birthday day again June," Dave said upon leaving.
"Thanks! You too," June responded.
"That's not how it-" Dave started. "You know what? Never mind."
Upon leaving, Kanaya directed a thumbs up and a nod at Karkat. God. Why did she do that? It just made Karkat feel like he was part of a mischievous plan and he was gonna trick Jude into doing something she wouldn't want.
"Well I guess it's just the two of us," June said, smiling. She gently punched him in the arm. "How about we get this cleaning over?"
They washed the last dishes and vacuumed the place while Karkat listened June ramble about something she called maggot cheese. Probably a human delicacy. When they were done, June had some strands of hair sticking out from her head and was heaving slightly. Her buck teeth were hovering over her bottom lip, and frankly, it was really hot.
Karkat quickly chased that thought away with a shake of his head.
"Thanks again for helping me, Kitkat," June said, gently punching his arm.
Karkat would have eviscerated anyone who dared call him by that nickname but with June, no matter how infuriating she could get, it was okay.
"Hey you've been awfully quiet," June remarked. "You're usually know for screaming all the time!"
"I'VE JUST BEEN TIRED. I GUESS," Karkat replied.
"Pretty tired too. It is getting late after all." June checked her watch. "It is really late!" she exclaimed. "Can I treat you to a sleepover?"
Karkat's throat went dry. This was his chance.
"YEAH THAT…THAT WOULD BE GREAT. THANKS."
He wish he could say it but that was so much better than great. That was prodigious, wonderful, fantastic, as if the gods had come down from their heavenly residence to kiss him on the forehead. A whole evening, the two of them alone. June all to himself.
"We could watch a movie!" June said. She started walking up the stairs. "Wanna come pick with me?"
Karkat nodded, and went up with her.
He entered the room and it was like entering a sanctuary. Karkat felt holy. It smelt like cake and fresh laundry. Karkat wondered if it always smelt like that, or if it was because of the recent celebration. He kept silent as he took in all the information around him. The room was perfectly tidy, huge posters of various Earth movies were hung on each of the walls. Though he was impressed by the collection, he did have to admit the movies looked terrible, and he hoped June wasn't planning on making them watch one of them.
"How about Mac and Me?" June said, as she fished out a DVD from the shelf she was rummaging through. "It makes me laugh every time. I guarantee you Karkat, this is a masterpiece. Also it's about aliens, like you! Though they are hum…considerably less handsome."
Karkat glanced at the box. It was one of the movies on the posters. God.
"SURE. WHATEVER."
"Hehe! I don't know if you'll like it, there's no romance."
Karkat rolled his eyes.
"YOU KNOW I'M CAPABLE OF ENJOYING MOVIES THAT AREN'T ROMANCE BASED. AND ANYWAYS, YOUR HUMAN ROMANCE MOVIES ARE SO PRIMITIVE THAT WATCHING ONE WOULD BE CLOSER TO WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY ON UNDERDEVELOPED BACTERIAS' MATING RITUAL, THAN WATCHING AN ACTUAL ROMANCE."
"Whatever you say Karkat," June said, amused.
She started heading towards the stairs but stopped.
"Oh! Now that we're up I could give you some pajamas to wear."
Karkat's blood-pusher melted a hole through his flesh and sunk down to his stomach. A whole night, in her clothes? He would, quite literally, die. Though it was arguably the most pleasant and comfortable death he would ever be offered, he didn't exactly want to die. Yet.
"REALLY IT'S FINE JUNE! I CAN STAY IN MY NORMAL CLOTHES!"
"No way dude. You're gonna stink them up and then the whole house!"
"ARE YOU IMPLYING I HAVE A STRONG BODY ODOR?"
June didn't reply. She flushed slightly, opening her closet to hide her face.
Karkat felt a wave of self doubt wash over the ocean of self-loathing already pooling in him. Did she really think he stunk that bad? Karkat had to worry a lot about things relating to himself, but he never expected body odor was one of them. Well, he did frequent some of the smelliest trolls to ever grace the Universe of their ungodly putrid scent, so the comparison with his own was probably skewed. He took a tentative sniff of his turtleneck. Maybe he didn't wash it THAT often but honestly nothing to fuss about! Humans had weird fragrance captors anyways.
June turned away from the closet, only to see Karkat sniffing at his armpit. Karkat's arm quickly retreated to its original position and he stood up straight. June giggled, handing him over a pair of pajamas. The shirt was plain white and imprinted with a large drawing of that stupid green ghost symbol she used so often. The pants were a light blue, and also imprinted with the same ghost everywhere.
"This was one of my favorite pairs when I was younger," she confided. "I've outgrown them but I figured you'd probably fit in them."
The pajamas felt incredibly soft in Karkat's hands. He felt like a priest being handed sacred garments.
"THANKS…UH…A LOT."
"Hehe, it's no biggie!" June reassured. "Oh by the way, I have something to show you."
She turned back to the closet, and he stood on his tip toes to watch what the was doing, but couldn't see much over her shoulder. She then stood up and took off her shirt. Karkat's gaze lingered on the washed out pink bra she wore. He thought of ghosting a hand over it, leaving a memory of his clawed hands on the soft dark skin of her back. One of the purple straps of the bra hung loose and he wished he would one day have the permission to lift it back onto June's freckled shoulder.
"Um…Karkat…"
Karkat snapped out of his daydream, mouth dry. "OH UH, YEAH?"
"Could you maybe hrm…turn around or…go downstairs…"
"OH SURE! SORRY."
He grabbed the pajamas, and arriving at the room's door, he asked:
"SHOULD I CLOSE THE DOOR?" He stole one more look of June's half undressed body.
"Please."
Karkat closed the door and waited on the couch downstairs. He took out his phone.
— carcinoGeniticist [CG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 21:17 —
CG: KANAYA
CG: KANAYA! JUNE INVITED ME TO STAY FOR A SLEEPOVER
CG: SHE'S GONNA COME DOWNSTAIRS AND FIND JUST A HUGE PUDDLE OF DISGUSTING RED BLOOD POOLING BY HER COUCH
CG: ….
CG: IM GOING TO DIE HERE KANAYA
CG: KANAYA?!
CG: UGH!
carcinoGeniticist [CG] stopped trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 21:25 —
God dammit. Kanaya was probably out spending time with Rose. Or she had passed out knitting or some stupid shit. Completely understandable, of course. Karkat would otherwise have been very happy that she was having fun, except maybe not on the first night he'd spend with the crush he had been cultivating for sweeps.
He now realized would have to fall back on Dave as his wingman. Not that he actually needed any help with this, he had seen enough romcoms to know how this was supposed to go down. Yet, whenever June was around, his extended knowledge of romantic interaction in all quadrants seemed to vanish and leave in Karkat's head a warm slushy liquid that made him drool. Besides, Dave was human and he knew June pretty well. As reluctant as Karkat was to admit this, Dave would be a pretty valuable asset in this quest.
— carcinoGeniticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 21:28 —
CG: HEY FUCKASS
TG: yo karkat what is up
TG: you getting any hot action already or what?
CG: IM STAYING AT HER HOUSE FOR A SLEEPOVER
TG: golden opportunity dude
TG: woo her to the ground karkat
TG: make her scream out in romance
CG: SHUT UP OH MY GOD
CG: I KNEW I SHOULDNT HAVE MESSAGED YOU
CG: YOURE SUCH A WEIRDO
TG: karkat im just joking
TG: id never disrespect june like that and you know it
CG: IM SKEPTICAL
CG: YOU SEEM CAPABLE OF GREAT PROFANITY
CG: COULD YOU HELP ME OUT WITH A PLAN OR SOMETHING
TG: sure
TG: what are you guys doing right now
TG: i could probably improvise a scenario if you gave me the situation
CG: IM NOT WITH HER AT THE MOMENT
TG: huh
CG: WE WENT INTO HER ROOM AND SHE STARTED CHANGING
TG: did you stay around to peek you filthy little troll
CG: NO!
TG: god karkat thats nasty. didnt think youd be able do that to her
TG: you didnt seem like a gentleman but dude that is crossing the line
CG: I DIDNT STAY!
CG: LOOK IM NOT HERE TO SUFFER YOUR CRITICISM
CG: I JUST NEED YOUR HELP
CG: WERE PLANNING ON WATCHING A MOVIE IF THAT HELPS
TG: oh which one?
CG: MAC AND ME
TG: hm
TG: definitely a bit of a romance killer
TG: i mean you wouldnt want to be making out in front of those wrinkly flabby asscheeks that the movie designed to be aliens
CG: GOD COULD YOU STOP BEING CRASS FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES
TG: idk dude just pull some classic cinema cliches
TG: stretch and oh so subtly lay an arm around her shoulders
TG: brush hands when reaching for whatever you guys are eating
TG: that sort of shit
CG: HM
TG: dude im no romance master
TG: i mean aside from a version of me who got to date jade
TG: which is pretty sweet by the way
TG: i dont know much
CG: WHATEVER
carcinoGeniticist [CG] stopped trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 21:39 —
Karkat considered messaging Terezi for help as a last resort, but her romantic advice was probably along the lines of licking someone's eyeball and then watch how it went. He shoved his phone back in his pocket, when he heard his name being called from behind.
June was standing on top of the stairs, with a blue sundress. The dress was composed of light fabrics of different shades of blue layered top of each other. On the breast was embroidered the symbol of Breath in shiny pearl blue. The straps of her pink bra stuck out from the dress, and one of them was still loose. June had kept her yellow striped socks, and was holding the DVD she had picked out in her hand. The dress and the various…accessories she was wearing created a dichotomy that fit her strangely well. June beamed at Karkat as her shoulders lifted up. Karkat rose from the couch, opening his arms to receive her as she came down the stairs.
"Kanaya made it for me," June explained. "I wanted to wear it for the party but it felt a bit weird wearing it around all of you. I'm glad I can show it to you now though."
Karkat nodded.
"LOOKS GREAT!"
"Yeah! Isn't Kanaya is a freaking prodigy?" June lifted some of the fabric up with two fingers. "I mean, look at this!"
"RIGHT," Karkat answered. That wasn't the only thing that looked great, but he didn't dare to go further with the compliments.
"She gave me those along with it!" She pointed to the Breath symbol shaped earrings she was wearing. Karkat whispered a soft 'oh', a sound he didn't even know he could make.
"Do you wanna eat? I have some pizza left."
Karkat snapped out of his dreamy gazing.
"UH...SURE."
Karkat accompanied June to the kitchen. She shoved a pizza box diagonally in the microwave in order to make it fit. Sometimes Karkat wondered why he had been fated to flush for such an imbecile.
"YOU COULD JUST-"
"Eh. Don't really wanna take out any plates."
As they waited, Karkat found himself staring at the back of June's neck again, slowly following her spine. If he could just-
He shook away the thought, again. What was up with him!
The microwave dinged and June took out the pizza.
She put the DVD in the player and the movie began. It was a series of excruciatingly embarrassing writing mistakes, accompanied by comedically mediocre special effects and horrendous acting. June was right, it was pretty fun to watch. She let out clear laughs that made Karkat's stomach fizzle and bubble at some of the most cringeworthy scenes.
There she was, sitting on a worn out couch, in an elegant and masterfully tailored dress, eating a slice of pizza, grease trickling down her fingers, almost sending chunks of the food flying miles away from her mouth at each laugh. Karkat didn't want to change anything about it, it felt right.
At one point, June reached out for another slice and Karkat extended his hand to reenact the hand brushing seen so many times in movies, but that resulted in June thinking he wanted the same slice as her, and then eventually, Karkat nibbling, a bit ashamed and disappointed, on a slice of pizza he didn't even want.
Around an hour into the movie, she started going quiet. Karkat assumed it was because she was tired. He took the opportunity, and he yawned, stretching his short arms as far as he could to then rest one on June's shoulder. The one with the loose bra strap. He tensed up, in fear of her reaction, but she seemed to relax into his touch. He even ventured so far - albeit with his blood pusher beating so hard it threatened to pop out of his chest - as to put the bra strap back in its place. She looked at him a bit puzzled, but then turned her face back to the screen. Then, she passed her arm behind Karkat and placed a hand on his arm, rubbing little circles with her thumb. A friendly and comforting gesture she had done almost automatically in her boundless kindness, Karkat figured. Nothing to read into.
Karkat rested his head on her other shoulder, and listened to her soft breathing. He closed his eyes and his mind went blank, enveloped in the smell of pepperoni and other human delicacies June was exuding.
— turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeniticist [CG] at 22:47 —
TG: hey karkat
TG: karkat?
TG: hey
TG: already engaged in super hot troll/alien make outs i assume
TG: well debrief me on your sexy conquest as soon as you can
— turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering carcinoGeniticist [CG] at 22:50 —
"Karkat? Karakaaaaat," a voice above him called. An angel, probably.
Karkat slowly opened his eyes, still in the fuzz and haziness of his recent nap. The face looking down at him was ethereal, and its lips were so inviting that Karkat's first instinct was to kiss them.
Karkat quickly took notice of the qui pro quo and pulled away.
"OH GOD. I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO..."
She looked at him, dumbfounded, mouth agape.
Karkat ran for the nearest toilets and locked himself in them.
"Karkat!" he heard her call out.
— carcinoGeniticist [CG] started trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 23:31 —
CG: KANAYA
CG: KANAYA PLEASE
CG: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RESPOND!
CG: I FUCKED UP REALLY BAD
CG: KANAYA!
— carcinoGeniticist [CG] stopped trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 23:33 —
Tears were threatening to come out of his eyes. He was shaking.
— carcinoGeniticist [CG] started trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 23:33 —
CG: DAVE I FUCKED UP
TG: what did you do
TG: did you reveal to her one of your weird troll kinks
TG: thus absolutely terminating all possibilities of matespritship
CG: NO! COULD YOU BE SERIOUS FOR A BIT
CG: I KISSED HER
TG: and...thats not good?
TG: i mean wasnt it like what you were shooting for
TG: oh did you kiss her like super bad
TG: like did you kiss her like a horse
TG: i mean a hoof beast
CG: NO YOU HALFWIT GREMLIN I KISSED HER WITHOUT TELLING HER I LIKED HER
TG: well
TG: at least now she knows doesnt she
CG: NO! I JUST MADE THINGS AWKWARD
CG: I HATE YOU SO MUCH STRIDER! YOURE FUCKING USELESS
TG: hey i never asked to be dragged into this!
carcinoGeniticist [CG] stopped trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 23:38 —
"Karkat, are you in there?" June called, knocking on the door. Karkat froze.
"This is the last room I haven't checked and I haven't heard you leaving so I assume you're in there."
Karkat didn't respond. It felt like his throat had squeezed on itself and the only thing that came out of it was a thin string of air.
"I'm not really sure if that kiss was directed at me, but just know I'm not mad at you. At all."
Karkat resisted the urge to bang his head on the door as he was reminded of what he had done.
"Sorry if that's kind of straightforward but um…do you uh… like me Karkat?"
Karkat let out a strangled squeal.
"I don't know if that's a yes or a no or you're just really amazed at how stupid I am…" June said. "Well it doesn't matter because thing is that I really am stupid. When it comes to this sort of stuff at least."
She paused.
"If you do like me, first of all I'm very flattered and second of all, you've probably been sending me hints without me even noticing."
Karkat nodded enthusiastically. She was correct.
"But I didn't see them. Because I'm just a huge idiot."
'YES! YOU'RE AN IDIOT, BUT I AM TOO! WE COULD BE IDOTS TOGETHER,' Karkat wanted to scream out, but nothing came of his mouth.
"I've never been in love before Karkat and… and I need to think about this."
Karkat took a big messy breath and started hiccuping.
"Are you okay Karkat?"
Karkat nodded again, though she couldn't see him. He mustered up a "UH-HUH" wish he hoped she understood as a yes.
"I really don't know much about love but I'm willing to work things out…" June continued. Karkat hiccuped. "But I want to work them out…Together."
Karkat broke down into silent sobs, still cut now and then by hiccups.
"Could you open the door Karkat? Please."
Karkat got up, wiped the red fluids coating his face as best as he could with his sleeve, and unlocked the door. He opened it, and June was waiting for him, arms wide open, a gentle smile on her face.
Karkat almost tackled her into a hug as he resumed his sobs.
'IM GONNA STAIN HER DRESS WITH MY GROSS RED TEARS AND RED SNOT AND RED DROOL,' he thought to himself, yet he buried his face deeper in the fold of her dress. June wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight, resting her head on his.
They went upstairs slowly, holding hands. June tucked Karkat into a mattress she had prepared for him and the lights went out.
— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeniticist [CG] at 00:08 —
TG: hey did it get any better
TG: …
TG: back on your hot human/troll make outs i see
— turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering carcinoGeniticist [CG] at 00:010 —
authors note; this was really self indulgent and fun to write. feedback is wanted and very much appreciated! might consider making this into a series because i cant stand unrequited love