Like You

I have been working at the pool only a short time. A friend taught me everything I need to know... almost. He taught me lifeguarding skills, people skills, he even got me a job here. One thing he never showed me was what to do with this insufferable heat, and he's gone now.

'Be creative and keep your cool,' he said. Keep your cool... That is the problem. It is so hot that even standing in front of the freezer won't even turn the headlights on. Being creative is something else.

Being on the lifeguard stand day after day dealing with the same kids braking the same rules with the same consequences doesn't have the right appeal. They never learn; they simply do what they want to. Not to mention it gets redundant. But this day was exceptional.

It was exceptionally hot that the kids would not even come to the pool before it opened so that they would not have to wait in line. But when they came, they came in swarms. The pool was overflowing. There were so many people there the water was pouring out.

With the heat come problems. Kids were fighting, rough housing, and in general NOT listening to the lifeguards. So we did the best what we could - sit them out, and if that wouldn't work - kick them out.

Management dealt with most of those rowdy kids. I, on the other hand, had problems of my own. Behind me were two girls arguing. When I got off the stand I went to talk to them.

"Hi. OK, what is going on here? Why have you two been fighting the entire time I was up there?" I asked pointing to the stand.

"She stole my towel." One girl said.

"No she stole MY towel." The other butted in.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Whoa. Hey, now where did you get the towel at?" I asked the first girl.

"I found it."

"Found it where? And please, tell me your names."

"I'm Erin, and I found it over there," she said point to the locker rooms.

"And where did you find it?" I asked the other girl.

"I didn't. I brung it." Sure, but she could have been lying.

"And your name?"

"I'm Jennifer."

"Hi, I'm Shelly. And how old are you girls?"

"6," said Erin.

"5," said Jennifer.

"Don't you girls like each other?"

"Yeah," they both said.

"Then why can't you share it?"

"I don't know." They replied.

I had no idea what I was going to do with the towel at that point. They were just young girls. I didn't want to hurt their feelings or anything. "OK, so how about you give ME the towel for a while and I will try to figure out whose it is."

"OK." Wow that was easier than I thought. But what was I going to do with the towel?"

As the day went on, it got hotter and hotter outside. I was up to the point I was sweating so much I was losing weight. And the adult swim / pool break was coming soon. Climbing on stand I dropped the towel and it fell into the water. Opps. But when I got it back it felt so nice, and cool, I tied it around my neck and covered my back so I could keep cool. And that made me remember what my friend did a long time ago. These people weren't going to want to get out. We're going to have to coax them out, I could tell.

By the time it was for my break I had the plan set in motion. I had permission to do this and the support and help of the entire staff. I was nervous. I went and bought something from the candy machine and went back around the pool. My towel needed re-wetting.

As I leaned over to get it wet, the candy bar fell in. Opps, again, but this time it wasn't as much an accident. I walked back into the guardroom to get a net and other stuff to 'clean up the mess.' As I was getting ready I heard my call: "There is something brown floating in the pool." Next thing I heard was a whistle blowing everyone out of the pool.

I stepped out carrying a pool net, and wearing a mask, snorkel, water wings, and a round inflatable duck. Not to mention the towel was still there trying to cool me off.

As I walked out, the crowd started laughing at me. "Hey look at the lifeguard who needs floaties." But the only people to come up to me were those two girls.

"What is all of that for?" They asked.

"Well the mask and snorkel are so I can see and breathe. The water wings are to help me swim and the duckie thingy too is to help me float. And this net here is to help me grab whatever is in the water."

"Oh."

"And whatever is in the water is... where?" I asked looking everywhere BUT right in front of me.

"It's right there." Kids yelled.

"Where?"

"RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!"

I shrieked at the sight of it. "Eww! Who left that there? I ain't touching that with a ten-foot pole. I mean look at it. It's all like melting in the water. That just is not natural." And with that I began walking off.

"But what about the swimming?" I heard from behind me.

"Pools closed. Go home."

"Noooooooo." All the kids screamed in unison.

"OK, fine. But I am NOT going in. That's just nasty." I walked back, lunged at the floating surprise with my pole, and missed. Then I missed again. "Oh Shi-, I mean oh crap... I mean.. uh.. shoot, I hafta get in."

With all my stuff on, my water wings, floating, towel, mask, and snorkel, I jumped in. With a big splash I pushed it further in the pool forcing me to float out to it, slowly wading over, and further spreading it around the pool.

"Does the new person always have to clean this up when someone does this in the pool? This is disgusting." I hollered, finally scooping it in my net. "Is anyone here named Winnie?" I asked as I climbed out. "Because I have the pooh!" I walked around showing the kids what was in the net.

Suddenly, in the midst of a crowd of kids, I stopped and looked at it. "This looks odd. This don't look like ordinary pooh." I said as I brought it closer to my face to smell. "Whew! But it sure do smell like it. Someone ate something FUNKY for this to smell like this. You wanna smell? Anyone?" I asked motioning at the kids nearby, but everyone backed away.

By this time someone had run out a pair of gloves to me so I could pick it up and dispose of it better. Kids were cowering away, but more got closer in for a better look. "You know what? I still don't think this is really pooh. This looks like..." I said, with the crowd completely silent, bringing it closer to me, and I bit down on it... and cringed. "No, it's poop."

All at once the silence was broken.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"I need a drink," I said running to the guardroom.

A short while later I came out and Erin and Jennifer were right there waiting for me. 'Oh yeah, I still have the towel,' I remembered.

"We have to leave now, can we have the towel back?" Jennifer said.

"OK," I said, "who's did you decide this is?"

"Mine," they said, "no, mine."

"OK, how about this. I will tear it in half. That way you both have it."

"Yeah, sure," said Erin.

"No. You can't. Just give it to her. Maybe I can borrow it." Said Jennifer.

"You know what? I am going to give the entire towel to Jennifer. And do you want to know why? ("Yeah.") It is because she was willing to give it up just to keep it whole. She didn't want to see it broken or torn. It's really a friendly thing to do, honorable, and shows it is really hers."

"Yeah, I guess so." Erin said as Jennifer tied the towel around her neck.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to be super, like you, Shelly," she said as she walked away.

I guess my friend had a point when he said be creative and keep your cool. I do that one day and look where it gets me. Super Shelly. How ironic.