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Naruto's Cop Squad!"And I so resolve to keep the peace of the world with this new organization!" Naruto shouted this to the sky, doing a Psyched-Out-Hideki-Motosuwa pose. (AN: if u don't know who I'm talking about, u gots to read Chobits, kids.) He had just decided that Konoha was too messed up (it was fine, actually.) and crime needed some cleaning up, so he was gonna start his own police force to stop it. The only problem was he was the only member. (no duh.) So he needed to get some.
Hmmmmm…he thought. Sakura-chan's only gonna do it if Sasuke comes, too…but he's such a pansy emo that he'd just spend the whole time cutting himself. As for kakasensei, he wouldn't give a fuck. All he does is read porn all day. I guess I'll have to go find some one else.
After only 2 minutes of asking around Naruto had exhausted his options. "DAMN! HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA FUCKING CLEAN UP CRIME IF NOBODY EVEN WANTS TO DO IT WITH ME??" But of course a certain Hyuuga (Guess who?) came up behind him, said, "N-N-Naruto-kun…" and scared the shit out of him—literally. Oh the humanity.
A half hour later, Naruto came back with a fresh pair of pants. "So, Hinata…wassup?" And he wondered why he had forgotten about her at all. She was too shy, she needed to get out more, the stupid bitch. Yeah, let's go with that.
"It's just that…um…" she was looking at her feet and being all cute and crap. She knew he has no idea of what evil things she was planning. "…I-I-Iwannajoinyourgroupandkillallthecrimeandthenchloroformyouandtakeyoutomybasementandchainyouthewallandrapeyousoyou'llbemyloveslaveforalleternity!" Her words came out all at once, so Naruto could barely understand them. After about 5 minutes of silence, though he seemed to catch on.
"Ohhhhhhhh," he said. "Oh…OH HELL YES! I FINALLY GOTS THE MEMBERS FOR MY COP FORCE AND—wait a second, what was that last part?"
"Oh, uh, n-n-n-n-n-nothing, Naruto-kun!" Hinata had slipped up that time. Well, she would half to be more careful, yes? Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
And so, Naruto and Hinata ran off to fight crime and such with the Indiana Jones theme song playing in the background. Now, thought Naruto, I just need a super hero type outfit to go with my super special awesome cop force! Hinata thought, hahahahahahah…you will soon be my slave, Naruto-kun. (cue psycho theme), and Naruto tripped on a rock and fell on his face in a pile of doggie doodie.
It was just another normal day ichiraku's. there were two random people eating the ramen. The ramen cook was singing, "strokin' the noodles, strokin' the noodles, stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke…" The only thing that wasn't normal was that noruto kid wasn't there…and he busted into the shop's kitchen thru the roof wearing sakura's care bear panties over his normal clothes with a surgical glove on his head and an eye patch and a pair of stiletto heels holding a bagel with a cigarette in the cream cheese with a cape made of purple rice paper with the words I FUCKED YOUR SISTER printed on it in white. And Hinata was holding a football (with a chloroform-soaked ragin her pocket) "wtf r u kids doing?" said the ramen man, who Naruto at once killed him by smothering him with his bagel…Yeah.
"tha'll teach u 2 give anyone but me your ramen, fart knocker!"
Kiba and his mom and sister (I forgot their names) ate his dead body while the stupid mutts barfed at the sight of it and shino gave them all fleas (rotflmfao).
Naruto was just about to take leave w/hinata when a pissed off sakura kicked him in the face and knocked him out. "tha'll teach u 2 steal my underwear, buttmuch!" she yelled. Hinata was freaked out. "Sakura, that was mean." sh said. "screw you!" sakura screamed. "he's the one who was raiding my—hey, what's that rag for?"
Hinata chuckled like a evil kitty as she dragged Naruto back to the Hyuuga main house. Sakura had done the job of knocking out Naruto for her, but she'd been wanting to chloroform sakura for a while now. She had also "made sure the chloroform worked" (hint hint)
Le Fin