Alright, I promised, I promised. Here's something funny my friend Gisela helped me come up with during our ceramics class. We were in stitches laughing about it during school, so here goes. Hope you laugh as hard as we did!
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. I hardly even own this idea. I sort of co-own it. So, enjoy. Or else…
The Pottery Class
"I can't believe you dragged me here," InuYasha grumbled under his breath.
"Come on, it'll be fun!" Kagome whispered back. They were sitting in an art room, taking a free pottery class. Right now, they were ignoring the instructor, who was busy lecturing them about the importance of wedging their clay before sculpting anything, to reduce the risk of it exploding in the kiln.
"Hey, Kagome," Shippo whispered uncertainly, poking her arm. "I know why you brought me, InuYasha, Sango, Miroku, and Kilala, but why are the others here again?" The 'others' he was referring to included a mixture of good guys and evil villains. Totosai was snoring across the room from them, annoying a heavily sweat-dropping Sango. Kohaku was sitting in between his sister and Miroku, much to the monk's annoyance. Myoga was perched upon Kilala's head, oblivious to everyone but the rambling instructor. Out of the way to one side of the room was Naraku's gang. He looked bored half to death, talking quietly with Hakudoshi. Kanna, as emotionless as ever, sat beside Kagura, who was shooting death-filled glares at Naraku.
"Because this will be fun!" Kagome answered. "Now, go keep poor Miroku company before he does something stupid."
"Okay!" The little fox demon quietly walked around the room, leaving InuYasha and Kagome alone. But not for long.
The door opened, and Koga walked in. "Sorry I'm late," he said nonchalantly, setting himself down right next to Kagome. InuYasha bristled.
"You invited that mangy wolf?"
"No," a cold voice said. "I did." Kikyo took the seat on the other side of InuYasha. It was Kagome's turn to be angry.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded.
"It's a free class, isn't it?"
While the girls were glaring daggers at one another, and the guys were proceeding to ignore each other's existence, the instructor began his ramble again. Soon, they were each given a lump of clay, and told to begin wedging. It kept everyone (except Kanna, who sat motionless, holding her mirror tightly) occupied enough that the tension in the room began to clear. However, no one noticed when Kagura snuck a good part of her clay out of sight for later use.
Suddenly, the door opened again, and Rin came bounding in, followed by Jaken and Sesshomaru. All eyes turned to him, and the sheer force of their surprise was enough to stop him in his tracks. "Rin needed to be accompanied by an adult," he said simply, taking a seat in a corner and ignoring all life forms present. Rin and Jaken joined the others and were soon getting a mini-version of the instructor's long-winded lecture.
The long, boring, and monotonous task of pounding a lump of clay on the table over and over again, otherwise known as wedging, finished, the creative work began. Starting at one end, Shippo was busy rolling out coils and sticking them together, presumably to make a simple pot. To his right was Miroku, slowly losing his perverted grin as the clay started getting stuck to the cloth over his Wind Tunnel. Next was Kohaku, using a rolling pin to make slabs of clay. Sango was absentmindedly poking her clay, trying to come up with an idea of something that would be useful. Totosai had woken up, and was attempting to use his gigantic hammer on his clay, while Myoga was protesting as loud as his tiny voice would allow. Kagura was using a small bit of clay to make herself some new earrings, still casting glares sidelong at Naraku. Kanna was still doing nothing, and Hakudoshi was rolling his clay into a ball. Naraku was sculpting something that was still formless. At one point, he got so frustrated that he vaporized it, and had to get another lump of clay and start the whole process all over again. A few seats down was Koga, paying more attention to Kagome than to his own project. Kagome was ignoring him with all her might, determined to make the most beautiful vase ever. InuYasha was having trouble, as his claws were taking chunks out of his crude pinch pot. Kikyo had made a block, and was starting the long process of carving it into a tree. Rin was laughing happily, getting clay everywhere, and Jaken had somehow managed to get his hands on a lot more clay, and was building a giant bowl. (A/N: Jaken is such an over-achiever!)
Now the chaos began. Sango was chasing Totosai with her Hiraikotsu in hand, furious at him for splatting his clay all over her. Kikyo was still carving away, and Koga had completed a very bad sculpture of Kagome and himself standing together, and was now flirting shamelessly with her, irritating InuYasha to no end.
Kagura took out her hidden clay and began work on a sculpture, smiling evilly to herself. Rin walked behind her and asked if she could have Kanna's clay, and getting a slight nod as an answer, happily took it and ran back to her seat. Jaken was standing on a stool on the table, putting the finishing touches on his bowl, which had somehow grown to be bigger than himself. Rin accidentally bumped into the table, shaking the stool, and knocking the poor demon off balance. He went tumbling into his bowl, getting stuck there, as he wasn't tall enough to climb out.
InuYasha finally got fed up with everything, and began attacking his clay. Literally. "Iron Reaver Soul Stealer!" he shouted. Miraculously, it resulted in a wonderfully shaped something, which was pleasing to the eye even though no one could have told him what it was. Kikyo stood, smirking, and wandered over to criticize Kagome's vase. Also fed up with everything, she said angrily, "Why don't you sit down and work on your own project?" On cue, InuYasha was slammed face first into his wonderful art.
"What the hell was that for?" he spluttered.
"It's Kikyo's fault!" Kagome protested.
Koga cracked up as InuYasha struggled to get the clay out of his hair and off his face. "Shut up, would ya?" he and Kagome snapped, only succeeding in making the wolf demon laugh even harder.
Eventually, everyone who was trying to do so managed to pull together something at least somewhat decent. Kagura was the last to place her projects in the kiln, putting her earrings on the bottom shelf with most of the others, and her sculpture, a wonderfully realistic statue of Naraku, right between Naraku and Hakudoshi's artwork. (A/N: Please note that you usually have to let the clay sit for a week before firing it. This is magic clay, so it can be fired right away! )
Only Jaken's bowl (he had eventually been rescued by Sesshomaru) couldn't go into the kiln, since it was much too big. Totosai volunteered to help, and, without waiting for any type of consent, started breathing fire on the bowl, nearly frying Jaken along with it. Unfortunately, demonic fire was never meant to be used on clay, and the bowl crumbled to dust, leaving one small green demon in tears.
"Please return tomorrow, and we will be able to glaze your projects!" the instructor said cheerfully as they washed up and filed out of the room.
The next day (A/N: DUN DUN DUN!!!!) everyone who had managed to get something in the kiln returned. But they never got to glaze anything. Kagome was ticked after finding she was completely incompetent when it came to clay and couldn't make a simple vase if her life depended on it. Miroku, after somehow overcoming the cloth problem, had used his hidden talent to make…well…let's just say it was something he could grope. Sango had made a piece of wood, which she proceeded to break over Miroku's head when she saw what he'd made, knocking him unconscious and destroying his perverted artwork all at once.
Naraku and Hakudoshi were furious. Kagura's statue of Naraku had been full of air pockets, and had exploded violently, taking out their projects as well.
Koga had only come to flirt with Kagome again, and in response to his unwanted attention, she threw his project across the room. Kikyo's tree had utterly collapsed, and she stormed out of the room immediately.
Rin was playing with her new butterfly, happily oblivious to everyone around her, and accidentally tripped Kohaku, causing him to drop the decorative box he had in his hands, and it shattered on the floor.
InuYasha, who was unable to reproduce the effects of his attack the day before, was sulking in a corner because Shippo was showing off his own artwork. The little demon had discovered his greatest talent; he'd made a turtle shaped teapot that was so realistic, if it had had color, you would've sworn it was alive.
In short, only Rin and Shippo had any fun. Everyone else was angry (or in Miroku's case, out cold), and was fervently wishing for the vaporization of all clay in the universe. But don't forget about Kagura. She had fun, too. After all, her statue had been rigged to explode, and it had done so perfectly, giving her great satisfaction.
Hehe, it's funnier when talking about it. Gisela and I were saying stuff like this:
Miroku would probably make something he could grope.
Sango would make something to hit Miroku with.
Shippo could be really good, and make InuYasha jealous!
What if InuYasha attacked his clay, and made something really good, and then Kikyo tricked Kagome into saying 'sit'?
Kagura would probably purposely make her project blow up so she could ruin Naraku's.
Kagome should be really bad, and be really ticked, which would be hilarious since she was the one who insisted on dragging just about everybody there!
Hehe, Sesshomaru should come in late, and be like, "Rin made me."
That's just some of it. Review, and let me know what you think. I seriously don't think my humor fics are all that funny…well, except for Naraku VS Kirby…that is hilarious!
