Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir does not belong to me.
I was in the angsty feeling today. So I whipped up this concoction: Read if you dare.
Ladybug wasn't sure when Chat's feelings had changed. He stopped looking at her like she was the girl who put the stars in the sky. Chat still called her "m'lady" or "bugaboo", but their meaning had changed. Their nicknames had turned platonic. She caught him muttering silly love poems for a girl with 'Tsurugi', but she never minded him. She was relieved. She could now freely pursue Adrien Agreste, her love.
One day, Marinette had come to school with high hopes to confess to her crush.
"I love you."
He looked at her. She could feel the wave coming. She refused to budge. She needed to hear it. She needed the answer. She believed. She hoped. She loved.
"I'm sorry"
Only to have her 'crush' crush her feelings. The rejection had only hurt like a needle prick when he said that. 'What hurt more?' you ask?
"I love someone else"
What hurt more was to see him glance at Kagami from across the room. The amount of affection that his gaze held in that moment had hurt her so much that the air from her lungs were knocked out. She felt her heart break into pieces.
She cried herself to sleep for a month.
She believed Luka loved her. She liked him. She built a friendship with him. She felt the pain ebb away. She could feel herself being brought together piece by piece. Her heart was glued back into one piece. She thought Luka and her were meant to be. She was finally ready to pursue another.
"I love you."
Those words were uttered from her mouth once again to a different person. She had believed. She had hoped. She had loved. She was willing to do it again for another. Only to have her heart blown into smithereens as he hesitated to reply and looked away from her.
"I'm sorry"
"I love someone else"
She could feel herself, gone. Falling into a rabbit hole. She could feel herself, non-existent. Invisible to the eye. She could feel herself, frozen. No more Fire. No more Wood. No more Trees. No more Life. No more World. She felt the same pain from the last time she tried.
She stopped.
She no longer had fuel in her soul. She had dreams. She felt passion, but no love. She was strong, but she had lost her way.
She thought she needed someone.
Now she knows, how it feels to be lonely.
She restarted.
And then she smiled.
"It's okay, Luka"
"It's okay, Adrien"
"It was just a thought"
"It was just a vision"
"I'll get over it."
"I'll be fine."
Love did foolish things to Marinette. Sometimes, she wondered how things could have gone differently, if only she had done something differently.
She smiled wistfully.
11 years later….
Marinette was a world-famous fashion designer. She left Paris and pursued her work in the Achu Kingdom. She was successful. Rumors say that she had become cold-hearted. People don't ever cross her. She rarely smiled at others. She only talks to Alya, famous news reporter, and sometimes to Nino, top hit DJ and fiance to Alya Cesaire.
Let it never be said that Marinette was weak and fragile.
She was successful, yes, but what everyone knew about her (especially Alya) was that she wasn't the same as she was before.
Some who were connected to her during her teenage years say that she was the kindest girl ever. She was even nicknamed as their "Everyday Ladybug". No one could really pinpoint when she had actually changed. Some said that it was when she was rejected by her very first crush. Some say it was after confessing to her second love. Others say that the change was gradual.
But if there's anything I have to say to it.
I think it's because she wanted to be strong. She still wanted to be there for those who needed her. She wanted to help others become stronger unlike her. She wanted to show others the path to their success and happiness.
She still wanted to be Ladybug.
And in order for her to become exactly like Ladybug, she needed to let go. When her heart broke, she flung her emotions far away. Somewhere so far, that she knew that she would never try to find them again. Ladybug never makes the same mistakes twice. Ladybug never leaves her duty. Ladybug always helps others. Ladybug is loved by everyone. Ladybug is feared by her enemies. Ladybug isn't weak. Ladybug is untouchable.
Marinette is Ladybug.
There's something I just hate about angst stories just ending with Marinette committing suicide. In those stories, I feel like Marinette isn't doing anything good for herself. Killing herself isn't solving her problems. Killing herself isn't helping those who have actually helped her and deserve to be happy (*cough* Alya *cough*). That's why I made it so that Marinette is still alive, bu technically dead. She might not be helping others, but she isn't hurting them either. She's giving the world another chance. I know what you are thinking:
But NiteStar if she is emotionless, isn't she technically dead?
Yes...and No. She isn't dead. It's more like she buried herself alive. Everyone thinks she's dead but she just needs someone to come and dig her out.