Inspired by a song I heard recently ("Our Love") and my latest song obsession (again, "Our Love"). Please read, review, and enjoy. If anyone is confused because of my switching in POVs (shown through italics), let me know.
L
Our Love
"Shikamaru-kun!"
The young boy tore his eyes away from the drifting clouds to blink curiously at the approaching girl. She waved a can of juice at him, smiling toothily.
"I knew you'd be here!"
Shikamaru slid over to the right of the bench, offering his previous seat to her with a small grin.
"They're nice today, carefree…"
She sat down without a sound, tossing her long ebony locks over a shoulder. She held up the drink to him and he accepted it with a mumbled thank you.
"Ne, Shikamaru-kun…"
He locked his dark eyes with her blue-gray ones, noting the warmth and the content that reflected back at him.
"We should do this more often."
Shikamaru frowned slightly, confused.
"Do what?"
Kagome giggled.
"This…"
She gestured vaguely around them, then at the clouds.
"It's…nice."
She hadn't been able to think of another word to describe how she felt. He caught the small hand in his before she could put it back down in her lap.
"Alright."
He smirked boyishly at the color that spread across her features, deciding he liked the pride swelling within him that he had been responsible for the reaction. Shikamaru let go then to pull the tab off his can of juice, before holding out his hand, watching with suppressed glee when she obediently placed her own back within his grasp.
She blushed even harder when he spread her fingers, carefully fitting the ring of the tab through a slender finger. He held her hand up between them so that their gazes met each other over their hands, the metal catching a ray of light so that it gleamed brilliantly.
"It's a promise."
His explanation was so matter-of-fact that for a second she wondered how she could not have understood while he had placed the 'ring' on her finger. He leaned forward slightly and she felt her cheeks burn as he rested his forehead upon her own.
"I am going to marry you one day…then we could do this everyday, for as long as you want."
She beamed up at him, tightening her hold on his hand.
"I'd like that."
I have a precious memory from our childhood, one I hold so closely to my heart that if time erases all else, this I would still remember. I recall the clouds that had floated in the blue sky. You told me that you wanted to hold hands with me and you promised me that we would walk together, side by side, until the end of the time.
She lifted a hesitant hand, gently laying it on his shoulder from behind. Her heart dropped when she felt him tense under her tender touch.
"Maybe you shouldn't go to the academy today. You look tired; you're in no mood to teach."
She peered desperately at him through her dark bangs, blue-gray eyes silently pleading him to turn around and just look at her, perhaps even give her that warm smile she cherished oh so deeply, the smile she fell in love with. Kami, he had been so distant recently… Her heart clenched painfully and she swallowed a gasp, trying to ignore the throbbing in her chest.
"I am, but I have to go. I'll see you tonight."
And he shook her hand off, leaving without a backwards glance. She sighed as the door closed with a click, running a pale hand through her raven locks, eyes downcast.
After that, I was afraid of lifting my head to look up at what we once admired together. It was as if I would see that the sky had lost its color. I didn't want to lose all that was left of us, that precious, precious memory of clear blue marred only by the clouds. From that day on, I forgot how to breathe. Being with you did that to me. Lately the tears, Kami, the tears I shed once I could deny our reality no longer. But no more, I will not…I refuse to cry again.
Kagome looked up from her scroll at the sound of creaking hinges and saw a figure enter the dim room. She had only lit a candle.
"It's dark."
She nodded, quickly looking away from the indifferent man before the detached demeanor could pierce her any further.
"It's night."
Her short reply was strained. This was what their conversations have been reduced to. The miko put her scroll down and walked up to the jounin, wordlessly helping him remove his uniform vest.
"So… How was your day?"
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at her and gave a soft grunt, making his way into the adjacent room.
"I'm taking a bath."
The silence washed over their home once more.
Our love will not come back after it has gone. Up until now, I had been waiting silently, hopefully…unwaveringly. Now I understand that our love has become your burden. It was just that I could never let this love go, this last warmth you gave me. It seems that no matter what I did, there was no saving it, saving what we once had.
Kagome looked over at the man that slept beside her, his back to her. She shifted to her side and reached out tentatively, tracing a small hand down his bare arm. Shikamaru stiffened. Even after all this time, after all the time he had been so cold to her, if she said that it didn't hurt, she would be lying. She lowered her eyes, a wan smile ghosting over her pink lips.
"I forgot to say 'I love you' tonight."
There was no response.
"I promised, that day, that I would say it to you everyday. Do you remember? In exchange for your promise?"
The miko propped herself up on an elbow and bent over him, her wavy hair cascading over her shoulders and draping by his head. Kagome leaned forward slowly and pressed soft lips to his cheek, the kiss so light and chaste it might as well have been a breeze that fluttered across his skin.
I no longer want to ask you if you love me. I just want the free sky now, to be able to escape from this tied up world and never be lonely. How…answer me, how would I ever get used to the mornings, waking up, without you by my side? But all this time I must have been lying to myself, because I have been thinking that our love was still there. I'll deny our reality no longer.
Dawn came clad in mist, swathing Konoha in dreary gray skies. He tossed slightly, dragging the blanket closer to him in an attempt to salvage the warmth of sleep. The empty spot in the bed next to him made him crack an eye open lazily but the crinkle of paper on her pillow made him sit up, wide awake.
With a trembling hand, Shikamaru picked up the letter, the glistening ink black like his mounting dread. In his anxiety, he missed the dull tab from an aluminum can tumble from the paper's folds and drop to the floor, bouncing under the bed with a barely perceptible clink.
It's impossible to hold onto something that slips through my fingers. You don't have to say anything, so please don't say anything…I really don't want to know. At least, I still have that memory and a shadow of the warmth we shared, dreams filled with your love and dreams of what once was. They are not tarnished by the wall that has somehow formed between us. I don't know how we drifted apart but I guess I finally understood…that I should let you go.
He held his head in one hand, his other clutching the letter in a vise-like grip. Tears rolled down his cheek and landed on her last words to him, smearing the I'll love you always at its end. Damn it…
Shikamaru crumpled the note and threw it across the room, angrily wiping at his eyes with the back of a fist. He furiously stuck his hand under his pillow and withdrew a small black velvet box, crammed it into his pocket and left the house with a speed he rarely used.
Kagome turned back to catch a final glimpse of the arched gates of Konohagakure before hoisting her big yellow backpack higher onto her shoulder and trekked towards the rising sun, her shadow lengthening behind her.
Suddenly, she found that she could not budge, couldn't take another step no matter how hard she forced her legs to move. She slowly shifted her eyes to look down at her feet and wasn't sure whether or not she had expected to see the shadow of a pair of hands, one holding down each foot, rising from her own shadow.
"Where do you think you're going?!"
Her heart skipped a beat at the familiar voice but her eyes watered, making her blink rapidly a couple of times.
"I thought you might need some time and space."
Shikamaru walked up to the miko and hugged her from behind, firmly wrapping his arms around her shoulders and resting his chin on one of them.
"You idiot…"
Kagome bent her head, staring blindly at her feet.
"You've been so…far away recently, even if you've been right here the whole time."
She tilted her head to glance at him sadly. His eyes were closed. Why would he not look at her?!
He said nothing in reply for a long time and Kagome thought she could hear the shards of her heart break off piece by piece, falling with a clatter to the ground through the silence.
"I…overheard your grandfather talking to you the last time your family came to visit."
The miko blinked perplexedly as his breath caressed her face, his whispering into her ear making her shiver involuntarily.
"He disapproved of you living alone with a man and yet are not married."
She heard him take a deep breath.
"I was…scared."
One of Shikamaru's hands found her own and it felt cold and clammy to her touch. Instinctively, she intertwined their fingers, letting his skin absorb the warmth that radiated from her own.
"I was afraid you would be tired of waiting for me."
"But we're already—"
"I was afraid that when they returned to Tokyo, you would think about all that stuff he said; it made sense you know…then you would leave and the hurt would be too much…so I figured that maybe if I pushed you away, it would be better for the both of us."
"Shikamaru-kun…"
"Look at me! He was right! What could I offer you? I couldn't even ask you to marry me, only move in with me. What kind of a future would you have if you stayed?"
"Look, it's not that he disapproves of you, he was only concerned—"
"I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted what was best for—"
Kagome slapped his arms away and pushed him off. In startling him, his jutsu wore off and the miko stepped away, shaking her head in fury and glaring daggers at the jounin.
"You IDIOT! Kami, you are such a fool! Why would you come after me then?! You should have just let me leave! Why would you put me through…through…that?"
She pointed an accusing finger at his face.
"You COWARD. I loved you. I really loved you. I would have stuck with you through anything. But you hurt me to help me?! What is that supposed to mean?!"
Shikamaru took a step towards her, arm outstretched, but she stepped back, looking fiercely at him.
"All this time, I've waited. I never minded waiting for you if you loved me so how could you?! I could have left but I didn't. I stayed because I loved you and because you loved me. I thought you didn't love me anymore. I thought you didn't want me by your side anymore. That's why I left.Now you're telling me you hurt me for something so…so…stupid? Nara Shikamaru, you are by far the biggest idiot that ever walked the planet!"
The tears that streamed down her cheeks left a burning trail in her anger.
"The best for ME?! YOU were all I needed! I never asked for anything more! IDIOT! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
And then she ran into his arms, pale fists pounding at his chest as she sobbed into the crook of his neck. The jounin embraced her shakily, overwhelmed, and desperately pressed her closer to him. So close…too close…he had been too close to losing her. He couldn't let her go after all.
After some time passed and Kagome had calmed down a bit, she hiccupped and gave his arm a hard pinch. Shikamaru would have glared or yelped had he still not felt numb at her words from earlier.
"You owe me a tab."
He frowned, not understanding.
"What?"
"A promise, you need to make a new promise because you broke the last one."
She glared up at him and poked him in the chest.
"You were supposed to love me for as long as I wanted and you were supposed to let me stay by your side, but you pushed me away. That was wrong."
His lips lifted at the corners slightly.
"Yes, it was."
"So you owe me a new tab."
He leaned forward so that his lips were only inches away from hers.
"Close your eyes."
Kagome looked up defiantly.
"Why?!"
Shikamaru smirked.
"I'm shy."
"In your dreams."
"Just…close your eyes."
The moment she did so, she felt his kiss burn every cell in her body. It had been too long since she had felt his touch like this; it was addicting. They broke the kiss for a second before their lips met again and she felt him hold her hand up by the wrist. Her fingers were spread and something was placed on her finger gently before he locked their fingers together once more, like he did oh so long ago.