Merry/Happy insert-whatever-you-celebrate, pinkharts! I'm your Secret Santa and read on to watch the lovely Massington!
Christmas Spirit.
I have absolutely no clue what prompted me to ask Derrick Harrington for a tour of Westchester Mall on the day before Christmas Eve. Something I knew for sure was that I was the typical, cliché new girl who gets asked out by the hot jock.
I'm not typical, or cliché. I'm Massie Block. I mean, I'm wearing pre-ripped True Religions. No one buys those anymore.
The silver tinsel adorning the oversized, bright purple tree smack in the middle of Westchester Mall glared down at me, like it was a seal of very, very angry disappointment. I had made a bet with Derrick Harrington that if he didn't kiss me by Christmas, he would be forced to dress like a very tomboy Gwen Stefani.
Honey-colored Steve Madden boots.
It was already four hours into our tour-slash-shopping spree at Westchester. He had insisted on buying me a bunch of presents-something I called and thought absolutely ah-dorable. A snow-white teddy bear with a purple silk dress, a pair of silver Manolo Blahniks, and the latest in Gucci aviators.
And he had taste, I had to admit. If he kept on doing this, I would be forced to spoil him back with gifts. Preferably, one that didn't involve lots of mistletoe at Dylan Marvil's Hollywood-themed party tonight.
Risqué fighting at the Chinese Dragon.
So, needless to say, we had to stop to eat at The Westchester's only good (and in our line of pricing) restaurant: The Chinese Dragon. And, I had to blow up at him like puffy dead fish.
"WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU DECIDED TO SPOIL ME WITH GIFTS, DERRICK HARRINGTON?" I all but yelled at him. He had ordered just about all China was famous for all for me. Spare ribs, cashew chicken, chow mein, fried rice, etc.
"I wanted to?" he replied meekly, sliding yet another present across the table to me. That could probably wait, unless it was something good. But I plead with myself not to get off-topic. The guy was buying my kisses!
Let me correct that: never-going-to-happen kisses!
"I'M NOT GOING TO BUY THAT BEE-ESS!"I screeched, sliding the chopsticks out of my little package and ripping them apart in my anger. "I WANNA KNOW WHY YOU'RE TRYING TO BUY ME ALL THIS STUFF!"
He finally rose from his seat and started to yell back. "MAYBE I REALLY WANT TO, MASSIE! MAYBE THERE'S SOME RANDOM, POINTLESS REASON BEHIND IT!"
I plopped down, asking a quick question. "Why are we in all-caps?"
He ignored me, but kept from hitting caps lock. "I really wanted to take you on a super cliché tour of Westchester, okay? And it's not exactly but still my fault that I wanted to buy you some nice gifts!"
"Well, that's sweet, isn't it?"
"Soothing green tea, anyone?" the waitress interrupted us.
I really have to stop being so gullible.
Derrick and I weren't exactly still mad at each other, but it was still hard to not put devil horns on his head in my head, even if he gave me a super bar of Toblerone chocolate. And besides, the mistletoe every few feet was making it hard for me not to do that.
I had yet to buy a dress to make that queen beta Alicia Rivera jealous, make alpha Dylan Marvil clap and let me in, have that ultra-sweet Kristen Gregory asking me for friendship, and leave my newest friend Claire Lyons hugging me like the dress I was certain to buy hug my curves. And in some unforeseen way, I spotted it in the window of Neiman Marcus that afternoon.
In a dashing aquamarine color, silky ruffles covering from right under the bust down, and a gorgeous hibiscus-style flower pinned on the halter strap type thingy; I knew it was just amazing. If not already show-stealing, size-four sized, and in the most gorgeous color I'd seen since Alicia's beloved Ralph Lauren started churning out polos in purple.
Mistletoe had been pinned over the entrance, but I ignored it and ran straight for the store clerk. "How much is the aqua dress in the window, and do you have it in a size four?" I demanded.
"Yes, we have it in a size four, and it will cost you approximately six-hundred forty-five dollars and twenty-three cents."
"Sold." Derrick's black, ultra-exclusive to Westchester only AmEx covered my MasterCard.
Sort of interested.
"I can't believe you bought me the matching silver purse and a hair clip just because I wanted to pair the dress with my new heels." my jaw dropped as the people in Coach handed me the bags.
"You're a special, albeit very lucky girl, Massie Block." Derrick said, causing my brain to go crazy.
Derrick Harrington is causing me to go crazy.
Toblerone bar eaten.
I had finished the last wedge in the bar, and Derrick was asking me if I wanted truffles from Godiva.
"Ehmagawd, no! I'm overstuffed, plus you've spoiled me way too much! How in Fendi am I gonna pay you back?"
"You can do this for me."
Massie Block is making out with Derrick Harrington.
"EHMAGAWD, MASSIE, and ARE YOU MAKING OUT WITH DERRICK HARRINGTON UNDER THE MISTLETOE?" a super-familiar voice screamed at me. I reluctantly withdrew from Derrick and saw Layne Abeley, Livvy Collins, Nikki Dalton, and the leader of the group, Allie-Rose Singer, flying at me like stilettos thrown at Nina Callas.
Caught in the act. Guess I'm only getting coal, kisses, and designer gifts for Christmas.
And it seems like
Someone is going to go to a…
PARTY!
Alicia Rivera, wearing her shortest gold mini-dress and black stiletto boots, and Nina Callas, wearing an 'innocently' neck-plunging black dress with super-high gold stiletto heels screamed when they saw Massie new girl Block pinning Derrick Harrington to the wall, under the mistletoe, at the infamous Christmas party thrown for the socialites of Westchester County, New York.
For the twelve days of Christmas, my enemies and friends sent to me…
Twelve Louis Vuittons,
Eleven kicks and slaps,
Ten pairs of heels,
Nina obscenities,
Eight sweet kisses,
Seven heartfelt insults,
Six happy friends,
Five lovely catfights!
Four crazy Glossip Girls,
Three unmanicured nail claws,
Two hating relatives,
(for me?) One disclaimed Clique Fic (and some reviews, too!)
(for pinkharts?) One lovely Christmas gift
(for Massie?) one gorgeous black pug
(for Alicia and Nina?) nothing.
Happy Holidays all! XOXO, Random