Authors Note: Even though I prefer Stan with Kyle, and I prefer Wendy with Cartman, it doesn't mean I don't still appreciate the original couple of South Park; StanxWendy. I think it's adorable, and it's what brought me to start watching and liking South Park in the first place. It's the whole reason Stan is my very favorite.

I do not expect many reviews at all for this, simply because too many people would rather read SxK slash (as would I). What I hope is that there are still some StanxWendy fans out there that will enjoy something about them for a change, a story where Stan is not cheating on her with Kyle, and one where Wendy isn't made out to be an unjustified bitch. However, you still get to enjoy the extremely close and kind of suspicious-at-times friendship Stan and Kyle share.

If there's any left, this is dedicated to all of you StanxWendy fans, whether they are your favorite or you simply still have a soft spot for them.

This will be Stan's POV.

This is not a one-shot.

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of the affiliated characters.

Introduction- And so it begins:

"If I gave you my hand would you take it
And make me the happiest man in the world
If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, girl
Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea
Let me know if you're really a dream
I love you so, so would you go with me "

(- Josh Turner, "Would you go with me".)

---

When I was seven, I had it all figured out. I knew who I was, I knew what I liked, I knew how I felt. It couldn't be any simpler. You get a candy, and you feel happy. Cartman takes your candy and you get pissed-off. Kick his ass; satisfaction. It was simple, almost mathematical equations.

And then you turn eight and the same girl that made you throw-up because she had cooties suddenly makes you throw-up because you want her cooties. I think it was Kenny who said it best; A loud and proud "Bring them on!", in retaliation to Clyde's "she has cooties!" warning when Kenny was caught kissing a girl behind the monkey bars after they had played "doctor" together. That afternoon, he was hit by a car and Butters cried, then decided, "It was his own stinkin' fault anyhow, the no-good slut".

Secretly I envied Kenny and his balls, because I sure didn't have any. Not when it came to girls. I watched him turn on the charm, watched as he kissed half the girls in our grade. It was like once you actually caught this imaginary disease girls had, the infection spread and then you couldn't get enough. It was scary in the most appealing way, and the look on my promiscuous blonde friend's face after each incident only kindled my curiosity. I desperately wanted cooties. But more than that, I wanted Wendy's cooties.

…And it didn't make any sense.

A lot of things didn't anymore. Like how it suddenly mattered to me if my hair looked alright, if my breath smelled bad, and even if my clothes were stupid. I scrubbed myself clean every morning and worried if I was cool, and smart, and funny. I started having trouble concentrating, even on things I was into, like football. I forgot how to do normal things; I'd lose my balance if she looked at me, went mute if she talked to me. I wasn't sure what to do with myself.

Then came the day that Kenny kissed her. My girl-germ infested, cootie-infected Wendy. I saw it happen, under the slide, in broad daylight. Kyle swears it happened so fast you'd barely realize they kissed at all, but that wasn't true for me. It was like time stood still. Up until then, I'd never turned on my friends, never thought I ever would. But in that moment, any friendly feelings I had for Kenny knotted into a huge ball of hatred. I lunged at him, nearly tackling Wendy to the ground along with us. My fingers curved around his throat and I began slamming his head into the ground.

"What the fuck!" He screamed.

"Shit, dude! Stan's kicking Kenny's ass!" Kyle broadcast to the entire playground, who in turn swarmed all around.

But I couldn't bring myself to stop. I was so angry, more angry than I remember being in my life. Kenny choked for mercy, his little fingers curling around mine and making vague attempts to pry them away, but he was laughing. Maybe because his head was hitting thick, plush grass piled high with about two feet of snow. I don't know who I think I was kidding, but it wasn't hurting him in the least. In fact, he managed to pull me down on top of him and gave me a loud smooch, smack on the lips. Almost immediately I dropped my hold on him and shot into the air, spitting and wiping my mouth.

"Well, if you want the cooties so bad…" He mumbled, snickering beneath his plush orange hood.

That's the day Kenny started kissing boys. He first announced how kissing me actually wasn't half bad, and then he grabbed Kyle and planted one on him.

"Ah, sick dude! Sick!" He yelled, fleeing the scene.

Kenny snickered, then turned amused eyes to another blonde. "Butters?" He asked.

"Oh, Gee!" He yelped, and Kenny chased him around the playground.

I don't know if he ever caught his victim, because Wendy had sauntered up to my side, poking me to get my attention. "Stan?"

And I threw up, for the first time in history, on her. Before had always been near misses, but this time she was covered. The strange thing was besides a simple "Ew!", she merely wiped it off and returned to the matter at hand. "Don't be mad," she soothed, her voice ringing bells in my heart. "I didn't want to kiss Kenny."

"You didn't?"

"No way, dude! Poor people smell like sour milk."

"Oh." Her answer was rather intelligent, at least in my little 3rd grade mind, and only impressed and intrigued me further.

Lacing her pink-gloved fingers behind her back, she edged closer to me. Her black snow shoes crunched in the frozen crystals until one was pressed against mine, and I remember thinking how good she smelled, almost like when my mom was mixing together cookie batter. I gulped, but she was smiling gently, her eyes fixated on the ground.

"Actually Stan, there is someone I want to kiss."

I noticed then that my knees were shaking, and despite the cold, my palms were clammy in my red mittens. "Th-there is?" I stammered, eyes glued to my shoes, heart racing. I swallowed. Hard. My mouth had run dry, and my stomach felt uneasy. What were these symptoms? Had I caught cooties?

"Mmm-hmm," She went on. "He's really sweet, and handsome," I could feel her eyes burning into me. "more handsome than anyone I've ever seen in my life. I like him. A lot."

There was a mixture of hope and jealousy accumulating rather quickly in the pit of my stomach, and in that moment I knew I'd die if she ever liked someone else.

"Do you think if I kissed him, he would kiss me back?"

My head snapped in her direction, and almost immediately felt her lips against mine with a loud "Muaaah!". The contact was brief, but tasted so sweet. It made my heart stop completely and then combust, in a good way, like a million fireworks shooting off in my body, tingling and tickling down to my toes. When she pulled away, I puked a second time, then fell backward into the snow with the goofiest smile drawn up my face.

"Bye Stan," she giggled, hurrying off with Bebe.

All of my symptoms were gone; the dizziness, the sweaty palms, the shaking knees, that gut-wrenching pain in my stomach. I was made better by her kiss and reached my own conclusions then. I had already had cooties. It was a love disease, caused by girls and cured by girls. I had caught it somehow, and Wendy made it better. The only thing I had now was jelly legs and the sensation I was floating on air.

"Dude, what the hell happened to you?" Kyle kicked the bottom of my shoe, having appeared out of no where with Kenny and Cartman. Apparently they had only now realized I hadn't followed them off when I was done beating Kenny's ass.

"What the hell's wrong with him?" Cartman wondered.

"I'm… in love." I confessed on a monster of a sigh.

Kyle didn't understand, Cartman said I was a fag, and Kenny assured me I wasn't in love, I only wanted to bone her.

"No dudes," I shook my head, sprawled in the powdery whiteness of winter, the stupid smile still occupying my face. "This is the best feeling in the whole world. Everyone's always talking about it all the time and you think they're just crazy, but it's true; it's the most amazing feeling …I'm in love."

Cartman coughed loudly into his hand, which sounded suspiciously like "Fag, fag!"

"Stan," Kyle barked, evidently appalled by the entire thing. "Wendy is a girl, alright? A girl." He wiggled all of his fingers at me, emphasizing how disgusting that was. "She's got cooties."

I looked up into the crystal blue heavens. "Yeah… cooties…" It came out in a sort of airy, dreamy way, and Kenny laughed.

"Well that's it," Kyle surrendered with a troubled frown. "We've lost him to the dark side."

Closing my eyes, I breathed deep the crisp air and released it on a love-sick sigh, for the first time in my life experiencing what my heart was for.

And so it began…