You are my sunshine
Bang.
Bang.
Two shots.
Clint!
Tasha's scream.
And then the dark, the absolute dark.
7 days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes, still nothing.
"I don't think he will make it Nat, and even if he'd wake up… it's been a week now, he could have several brain damages… you need to consider this hypothesis" doctor Reynolds said with a sad look on his face.
"I know it Ryan just stop saying that, okay? I know him. I know him better then you or anyone else here in the S.H.I.E.L.D he's strong, he's gonna be fine" replied Natasha angrily.
"I know he's strong but…"
"Shut up! You know nothing! Just shut the fuck up!" she yelled at him banging her fist against the bedside table, next to Clint.
The pot full of water fell on the floor, letting the orchid floating slowly.
Ryan looked at her with… compassion? She didn't even know, she was just so frustrated, angry, desperate and… guilty.
Because that was all her fault and she knew it.
Ryan walked away closing the door behind himself.
She was alone now, with her thoughts and Clint.
It happened all so fast, they were on a mission, a simple mission, they had to pretend they were a couple and infiltrate into a dinner with a politician of some lost African state. They just had to capture him and bring him at the S.H.I.E.L.D. Easy, not?
To be honest she was pretty excited for that mission. She didn't know why, she was just so happy.
She kept thinking about that day, about the… accident.
That's the word every agent used when referring to the day she made Clint like that.
It wasn't an accident, it was negligence, her negligence.
"Clint?" she called from the bathroom.
"Don't you remember? I'm mister Henry Carlton, rich philanthropist or some shit like…wow" he stopped himself opening the door.
She was in a long black dress, tight on the hips and with a deep neckline adorned with a golden line.
Her hair was gathered in an elegant chignon. Some of her curly strands were free and dancing on her face making her even more perfect if that was possible.
Her skin was of a whiteness almost shining and her eyes were bright like the sunlight.
"Do you like it?" she asked with a smirk looking at his astonished face in the mirror.
"I love it" he answered staring at her as he couldn't take his eyes off.
"Can you help me with the zipper?" she said pointing her finger behind her shoulders.
He moved forward.
She couldn't avoid thinking he was totally stunning in his suit.
A chill ran her back as he put his hot hands on the zipper, softly touching her.
She could feel his breath on her neck and he could smell the perfume of her skin.
They stayed like that more then they were supposed to.
"We need to go" she whispered.
He nodded before he left the room.
"I'll wait you outside"
The regular beep of the machines was the only noise in the room. It was so depressing: white walls, grey floor, those infernal machines… she wanted to destroy everything.
She remained a couple minutes more in the room, shaking for what just happened.
"Jeez Nat calm down! He barely touched you!" She said to herself trying to make her heartbeat slower.
She closed the motel's room and went downstairs, asking herself why she was so nervous. Clint and her worked a thousand times together, it was just a job, they weren't a couple, they were just acting.
Then why was she shaking every time he was looking at her?
She was so focus in her thoughts that she didn't notice Clint waiting for her next to their car and most of all she didn't notice the two big, black dressed, armed men on the other side of the road.
When she saw them it was too late.
Clint! She screamed.
But the bullets were faster.
And now he was there, barely breathing and she didn't know if he'd wake up again.
She held his hand in hers whispering "I'm sorry"
A tear streamed down her face. The first tear she cried in a very long time.
She was losing him, forever.
She was totally powerless, at the mercy of events.
She didn't have a god to pray, or a fairy godmother to beg but if she had she would.
She would do anything.
In that moment she remembered a woman singing a song to her dying son.
She listened to that song for the first and last time on that occasion but it stayed inside her like ink.
She wiped her eyes and started to sing:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
Her voice was soft and beautiful, at the beginning shy, then more confident.
The other night dear while I lay sleeping
I dreamt I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and cried
The last time she singed for someone she was a seven years old girl laughing in her daddy's arms.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away…
"I love you Clint" she whispered stroking his hair.
At those words she imagined he blinked but that was impossible.
But then he blinked again.
Not possible.
He held her hand and his eyes slowly opened.
"Clint?" tears of joy were streaming down her face.
A weak smile appeared on his face.
"I love you, too Tasha" he said in a husky whisper.