Slowly opening the door, trying not to make a noise and awakening the sleeping women in the house, Jane sneaks inside, taking a quick look around the house, making sure the house is as locked up as before she left earlier. Seeing Mauras diary on the table means she was awake earlier in the night, 2 tea cups on the sink, shows that Constance and Hope had a drink after Maura had gone to bed and she had left, they both are sleeping in separate guest rooms.
After clearing the house she sits on the couch, taking deep calming breaths and rubbing her hands together, she knows she's not supposed to do this, knows there's a patrol outside watching the house, knows that Maura wouldn't appreciate this but she has to do it, she can't trust anyone apart from herself with Mauras safety.
Mauras safety
She should have never been in danger, she's a doctor for petes sake. She's supposed to be safe in the morgue, doing her Google mouth stuff and helping the victims, not being the victim. She never was until she met Jane, 8 years of friendship has put her in danger. 8 years of yoga, running in the mornings, dinners, movie nights and so many more things has caused this to happen. Korsak told her it wasn't her fault, but it was, so it's her responsibility to make sure she's safe until the bastard behind all this is caught then she'll cut all ties with her.
Jane knows how much this will hurt, knows that the bastard that hired Joe Harris was right, knows that Maura is the one she loves most, she also knows that she's not Mauras type, she doesn't want to have sex with her and that Ian is the love of her life, so that leaves her as the friend with the unrequited love. She's thought about cutting ties with her before, hating seeing her with the men that her friend thought were suitable partners but have all broken her heart, or even the men that walked out of the house as she walked in on Sunday mornings. She used to have a feeling that maybe Maura felt the same, always thought that maybe Maura swung that way, even a little but she never once saw a woman leave her house.
She laid down on the couch, flicking her boots off, as her heart started hurting. It always did when she thought about Maura for too long, it's been hurting even more over the last week, starting the moment she realised Maura was missing and only slowly becoming a dull pain after she was found. She shut her eyes, hand on her gun and taking from some of the meditation stuff she has learned from the many yoga lessons, she knows she won't sleep but she will rest. As she lay there trying to breathe deep her thoughts run over the last few years, meeting Maura the first time in line at the café dressed as a hooker, meeting her properly 6 month later during her first homicide, slowly becoming friends, a drink here and there, slowly tuning into a dinner, taking her to meet her family, the more time she spent with her the more her feelings grew. She always thought she was straight but the moment, well second moment, she saw Maura she knew she was not so much. She tried to push her feelings away with Casey and Dean, Casey just becoming a fall back guy and a comfort whenever things with Maura hurt too much, he told her he knew about her feelings for Maura but he played along because he liked having someone to talk to while he was at war and someone to come home to, they parted ways agreeing to be friends.
She was so lost in thought it wasn't until she heard the slight creak of the last step of the stairs did she jump up, gun drawn, staring into the unamused eyes of one Dr Isles
Jane POV
"What did I tell you about sleeping on my couch?" Maura said, her arms crossed across her chest whilst leaning against the door frame
"Well if you'd let me leave the cameras then I could be sitting on my couch" I half joked, small smile on my face as I holstered my gun
"You know that's not what I meant. I told you you didn't need to sleep on my couch, you don't have to watch over us anymore, we're all safe"
"You're not safe! None of you are safe until this guy is caught and either locked up or dead!" she whispered loudly, not wanting to wake the sleeping mums. "He's still out there, still hunting me, hunting the people I love, hunting you. So until then I'm staying right here, once this is over you won't have to worry about being in danger because of me anymore but I won't leave you until that moment" I run my hand through my hair, walking to the fridge to crab a beer.
"What are you saying?" Maura asks, walking towards me, taking my beer and sitting it down
"God Maura, you seriously are the dumbest genius I know. I'm not leaving your couch until this man is caught, you're stuck with me sleeping here, making sure no one gets to you" I take my beer back chugging it down
"No, I mean about not being in danger because of you, how you won't leave until after they're caught and don't say nothing because I saw something in your posture and eyes for it to have a different meaning"
I look down at the table, damn I hate how smart this woman is and how well she knows me.
"Look Maura, over the past 8 years you've been in danger more times than you should be and it's either been because of me or because I wasn't quick enough to figure it out. So I've decided when we catch this person our friendship should come to an end." I say this and watch her face drop, the pain in my chest becoming 100 times worse, I grab her hands, running my thumb over them "I want you to know that I'm not abandoning you, I'm not doing this because I don't love you but because I want you to be safe and with me around you're not"
Maura looks down at our hands, I see a tear fall before she composes herself and looks up at me
"You decided? Who are you to decide what affects me? I don't care if I'm in danger, well I do, but knowing you're always looking out for me, make me feels safe. I don't care if you think we should stop being friends because I won't allow it, I'll keep ringing you, keep coming by your house, talking to you at work and buying you beer at the Robber. I love you too much to let you go" she whispers the last part, my heart beating faster
"I know Mau, but I can't let you go on being unsafe" I squeeze her hands, not looking her in the eyes
"I have one question for you before I decide whether or not to accept this stupid ultimatum of yours" she tries to make eye contact with me, I keep my eyes down but nod for her to continue. "We figured out that Harris was after the person you loved most and he came after me, so my question Jane is am I the one you love most? The one that your life would crumble over? The one that if they died would crush you? Am I that person Jane?" I feel my pulse beat faster, knowing that she can feel it
"That was more than one question" I joke while slipping my hands out of hers, turning around to grab another beer
"Jane, don't deflect. Answer me" shit short sentences, that's not good. It's time to face the music I guess
"Yes" I whisper, playing with the label of my beer
"And I'm guessing that this is not at all in a platonic just friendship way but more of a romantic sense" she takes my beer again, putting it on the counter, I sigh I hate how she always wants to go into detail
"Yes" I whisper even quitter
"Sorry I didn't hear you" she says and the smile in her voice makes me look up. The look of happiness, hope and love in her eye gives me the confidence to speak up
"Yes, you are all those things to me in a romantic way. I'm in love with you Maura. I want so many things with you, want to date you, get to know you more intimately, one day live with you, marry you, have babies with you, grow old with you" her smile grows and I can see her about to move in but I quickly hold her at arm's length "but I can't. You'll be in even more danger, I can't have you in more danger. Your life means more to me than my happiness" I step back, wanting to try and get away from her, not wanting her to see the heartbreak that I know is evident in my eyes
"You stupid smart woman" she laughs and shakes her head "I know my life will be safe with you. I'll be happy with you. I'm in love with you too, I want all those things with you, when I think of my future it's you and me and our kids, growing old together" she steps forward again
"But….You're straight…there's only been men…and you never said anything" I stutter in confusion, she can't love me, I'm not her type
"You never said anything either and they've only been men because the only woman I want is you, don't get me wrong I've been with women before but after meeting you I couldn't be with another woman" she holds my hands, bringing me closer
"I'm not your type and you don't want to sleep with me" I still look down, not sure why I'm fighting this
"You weren't my type, I usually went for red heads and the no was sarcasm, I'd learnt something from you" she smiles and wraps her arms around my neck.
"But.. Ian.." I wrap my arms around her waist
"Was the love on my life, before I met you and knew what real love is, not something that comes and goes as he does. Now will you shut up and kiss me" she smiles and presses her lips to mine.
Fireworks!
I literally feel fireworks spread from my lips throughout my body, I pull her closer, our bodies pressed together. I feel her smile which makes me smile. I pull back when my lungs scream for air
"So about the not being friends thing anymore, I think we've established we are more than that now and I'm not letting you go. So you're gonna have to worry less about my safety, learn that I can take care of myself, which I'm sure you've learned by now after last week." She smiles a smile I can't help but returning "You know what's funny, I was telling you off about physically sleeping on the couch" I frown
"Yea I know"
"No, I was going to tell you that there's a perfectly good other side of my king size bed that would be comfier than my couch" she smiles and winks
"Oh really? Well it is late, I think we should go check out this side of the bed you mentioned about, maybe we could even share the middle?"
"Jane Rizzoli! Are you a cuddler?" she smiles walking backwards towards the stairs
"You already know I am Maura" she starts to turn but I spin her around kissing her hard "I love you so much. I never believed in soul mates until you" she smiles up at me, tears in her eyes
"You're my other half Jane, I love you too"
Half an hour later, laying in Mauras bed, her fast asleep on my shoulder I can't help but think what a change an hour can make. An hour and a half ago I was thinking of how much it will hurt once I tell her we can't be friends but now I'm going to bed with the woman I love and that dull pain in my chest is filled with love and happiness. 8 years and 1 hour was all it took for me to finally be happy and I know that no matter what happens in the future we'll be in this together.