A/N: This one-shot is dedicated to Skippy, or as most of you might know her as, Bunny. She had to go accept a sports award and was embarrassed to do it. I told her I would send DiNozzo to pick it up for her, but when I called Gibbs, he told me DiNozzo had been grounded for putting pudding in McGee's gym shoes. She told me I should write a one-shot about it, so I did, sort of. Set season one.

When Kate came back from lunch, she wasn't surprised to find Tony's desk still vacant. The SFA rarely managed to get back to the bullpen before his designated lunch time was up. She said nothing about it, knowing that Gibbs was surely already acutely aware of his absentee agent, and settled back behind her desk for a long afternoon paperwork session. Ten minutes later, her partner strolled out of the elevator and over to his desk, casually finishing his phone conversation and throwing a wink over at Kate.

"Anthony David DiNozzo!" Gibb's voice bawled out from his desk. "Front and center!"

"YES, Boss!" Tony shot up while exchanging raised eyebrows with Kate as she mouthed his full name back to him and sliced her index finger across her throat.

Tony stood ramrod straight, albeit a bit nervously, in front of Gibb's desk.

"What can I do for you, Boss?"

"You can go park your ass over on the stairs."

"On the stairs, Boss?"

"Gone dumb AND deaf, DiNozzo?"

"No, Boss. Going to sit on the stairs now."

"Leave your phone on your desk."

"Boss?"

Gibbs stood up fast, his chair shooting out behind him and crashing into a bookcase. Tony jumped back and threw his phone on his desk top as he hurried by it.

"You sit there for half an hour, Anthony!" Gibbs called after him. "No talking to anyone who goes by or uses the stairs. Not even the Director."

Kate was staring wide-eyed at her partner, whose face had gone a couple of shades of pale, but she spoke nary a word. No way in hell was she joining him.

Tony arranged his jeans a bit before he sat down, and cringed at the coldness of the stairs. They weren't carpeted like the floor. They were hard, too. Hard and cold. No phone, no talking.

Wowser, he thought. Ya never know what boss is gonna pull out of his butt next.

He decided no talking meant no singing, and he didn't even dare hum. How would he know when half an hour was up if he didn't have his phone? He'd left his watch on the bathroom counter. Several agents he knew passed by him, up and down, down and up, grinning at him. The word had spread throughout the floor already. Well, it was difficult for it NOT to, what with the Gunny yelling his full name like Tony was down the street instead of ten feet in front of him. His face had developed a permanent blush, and he was now too warm from all the embarrassment. He didn't have to question why he was being punished; he knew damned well why.

For some reason when he'd gotten up today, he'd just felt mischievous, with a side order of disobedient to go along with it. Some days were LIKE that for him and he didn't know why. Maybe he had a food allergy of some kind that altered his brain chemistry and made him do stupid shit he knew he was going to get him in trouble. He'd have to ask Ducky sometime. Oh look, here was Ducky now. Great. Just great.

"Anthony, why ARE you sitting on these cold hard steps? Did you fall and injure yourself?"

"He's in time-out, Duck!" Gibb's voice bellowed out loud enough again for the entire floor of agents to hear him, and the entire floor reverberated with agents' laughter. Tony's heated face fell into his hands.

"My WORD, Anthony, what in the world did you do NOW?"

More laughter.

"He's not allowed to talk to anyone, Duck. Not even you."

"Oh. I SEE. Well, I AM sorry, Anthony."

"Don't be, Duck, he deserves it. Late for work. Back late from lunch. Played Solitaire on his computer on company time. Harassed Kate all morning. Probably didn't tip the barista at breakfast. Who the hell KNOWS what else?"

All of this from Gibbs without him ever looking up from his paperwork. Kate was nearing hysterics and could barely hide it. She was really glad Tony couldn't see her.

"You fixing to join him, Caitlyn Anne Todd?"

"No, Gibbs!" She straightened in her chair immediately and cleared her throat. Not funny anymore.

"You instigate it most of the time, you KNOW that." he growled over at her, still not looking up. She knew he was pretty much right; Tony was as fun for her to bait as she was for him. But she sure as hell wasn't going to incriminate herself by saying anything. She found an urgent e-mail she suddenly had to compose on her computer.

Gibbs felt someone shadowing his desk and looked up.

"Whataya need, Duck" he smiled pleasantly at the man and stretched back in his chair.

"Is that REALLY necessary?" the M.E. asked sotto voce.

"Yer damned RIGHT it is, Duck!" he answered not nearly as quietly, and then lowered his voice. "Only way it gets through to him. Some days he's just - like a damned FOUR year old. I'd do it all the time to 'im if I didn't think he'd find a way to enjoy it."

"Well...he doesn't MEAN to misbehave, Jethro."

"But he DOES, and sometimes I get tired of it. Sometimes I need a time-out from him."

"Ahhh. Yes. That I can understand. Oh, I almost forgot, I was on my way to see the Director about ordering a new x-ray machine."

"Tell 'im about Tony so he doesn't have a cow when the kid doesn't talk to him."

"Even the Director, hmm?"

"Yup, I'm an equal-opportunity kinda guy."

"Yes, well. I'm off then. I DO hope the rest of your afternoon goes more smoothly."

"Ohhh, I'm pretty sure it WILL, Duck!"

Gibbs smiled and went back to his paper work, and Ducky headed back towards the Director's office. He had to stifle a laugh when he came around the corner of the stairs and found two sympathetic female agents covertly supplying Tony with desserts from their lunches and a soda from the machine.

Just what Jethro needs, he chuckled to himself. A four year old on a sugar high.