A scrawny-legged, black shadow bug came crawling up the path to Castle Bleck. His whirly glasses were cracked, his legs kinked, and his large mouth turned down. He couldn't walk in a straight line- instead he skittered to one side of the path, and when he hit the edge he readjusted himself. Then he staggered forward until he hit the other side of the path.

Presently he reached the door, lifted one leg, and knocked, then knocked again.

Over in the yard, Charlotte looked up, sniffing the air. She looked around, scanning the landscape, and spotted the visitor on the doorstep. The feisty chain chomp gnashed her teeth excitedly and began to charge.

The visitor jumped. "Ack! No! Bad chompy! Fawful is not delicious dog biscuits to be snacked on as a treat!" He pounded on the door. "Open please! Help Fawful!"

Count Bleck opened the door. "Hello?"

"Down here!" Fawful squawked.

Count Bleck saw Fawful, saw Charlotte charging, scooped up Fawful, and closed the door just before Charlotte snapped her mighty jaws shut on the space above the step.

Inside, Count Bleck stood in the foyer with Fawful huddled in the crook of his arm and his back pressed against the door after such a close call. Fawful looked up at Count Bleck admiringly. With awe, he said, "You saved Fawful from being the greasy bacon flipped out of the sizzling fry-pan and into the burning hot fire of cooking. I have relief!"

Count Bleck stared at Fawful blankly. After a pause, he said slowly, "Hello, I am Count Bleck."

"Oh, Fawful knows of you and all your deeds," Fawful chirped. "Count Bleck is a man of greatness."

"And you are...?"

"Fawful, of course."

"I see."

"Fawful came to Count Bleck because his greatness may be enough to un-toss the salad that Fawful has inadvertently made for himself, with vegetables of pain and dressing of misery."

"... Count Bleck has no idea what you're talking about."

"Please repair Fawful's salad."

Luckily for Count Bleck, Mr. L came up the hall, singing aimlessly until he got to the front door. "Excuse me," he said to Count Bleck. "I need to use the door."

Count Bleck smiled. "You're just in time."

"Why?" Mr. L was suspicious.

"This creature was just asking for our help. Go ahead, tell him." He gave Fawful a little jostle.

"Fawful was explaining how the mustard of doom exploded back upon himself and how he must untoss this salad of misery."

Mr. L stared at him for a beat. Then he said, "Hello, Fawful."

"You know this creature?" Count Bleck perked up, noticing the familiarity in Mr. L's tone.

"Yeah. He's a talking bean man who temporarily took over the Mushroom Kingdom with the Blorbs. He got like this after he got sucked up and merged with the Dark Star and me and my bro fought him inside Bowser."

Count Bleck rubbed the inside of his unseen ear with his finger. "Has Count Bleck suffered a stroke, and is no longer able to understand language?"

Fawful squinted up at Mr. L. "Green moustache?" he said tentatively.

"I go by 'Green Thunder' here."

"Oh, that Fawful must come and beg at the table like a dog for delicious scraps only to find seated at the table his greatest enemy, who keeps then all the scraps for himself. I have fury!" Fawful squirmed in Count Blecks' arms, his eyes stinging with tears of anger.

"Hey, calm down," said Mr. L. "I'll give you scraps. I'll give you the whole sandwich."

"Fawful wants to be himself again," Fawful said, through his tears. "To have a long cape and marvelous headgear adorning his body of beanishness. Then Fawful will behave himself. This is a promise from Fawful that is given to you."

Mr. L looked at Count Bleck. "Fafwul used to be a person. He wants his body back. He promises to be good."

Count Bleck lifted up Fawful and squinted at him from his monocle. "Well. I think I need a bit more information on the subject before I can decide if there's anything I can do to help."

"I'll tell you!" Fawful chirped. "Many, many moons ago Fawful was a mighty bean who was to take the Mushroom Kingdom as his own delicious repast-"

Count Bleck interrupted: "I need more information from somebody Count Bleck can understand."

"Fawful has apologies."

"I was there," said Mr. L. "I'll explain it all to you. Come on. Let's go to the Explaining Chamber."

"Very well," agreed Count Bleck. "Wait, Explaining Chamber?"

The Explaining Chamber, it turns out, was the meeting room. However, as Mr. L was the one doing the explaining, he was standing on Count Bleck's usual pedestal, with the Beige Prognosticus tucked under his arm. Count Bleck stood on O'Chunks's normal pedestal, and Fawful was sitting pitifully on Dimentio's pedestal.

Count Bleck looked around the room. "I've never seen the room from quite this angle before, mused Count Bleck. It's very unusual."

"I kind of like it up here," said Mr. L. "It makes me feel all powerful and important."

"Fawful is confused as to his location," said Fawful.

"Let me bring the Count up to speed real quick," said Mr. L. "Okay. So basically it's like this: Me and my bro Mario were at this meeting in the Mushroom Kingdom one day to figure out what to do about the Blorbs. The Blorbs were a really gross disease that you got from eating bad mushrooms. It turns out that Fawful was the one who was giving everyone the Blorb shrooms because that would help him get the Dark Star and become super-mega powerful. Somehow. I'm not sure how that was supposed to work. But it almost did! Me and Mario and also Bowser all got together and fought him. Then he merged with the Dark Star and we fought him again, only harder. Then he exploded. The end." Though he hadn't been reading from the Beige Prognosticus, he had opened it somewhere during that speech and now he closed it conclusively.

Count Bleck still looked confused.

"Did you get any of that?" asked Mr L.

"Most of it, yes, said Count Bleck. He turned to Fawful and asked, is this true? Have you anything to say in counter?"

"Oh, how Fawful wishes he could say it is all lies, vile lies told to punish Fawful in his greatness! But if he said that, then he himself would be telling lies. Such is the pot of boiling soup that dares insult the iron outer coating of the kettle filled with delicious soothing tea! It's all true," he finished. "All of it."

"... I see."

"Since then Fawful has been alone and cold like the last cube of ice huddled in the back of the freezer. Long has he been wandering, but the monsters of the world peck at him and try to eat him up! No! Fawful will not become their dinner! Instead he perseveres; he travels far and wide and hears stories of the great Count Bleck, who was once upon a time not so great. So he slips through dimensions in a crafty way until finally he finds this castle! And that's the story of up to now."

There was a long silence.

Finally, Count Bleck clapped his hands. "I'm done."

"Wh-" Fawful looked shocked. "You won't... help?"

"I would love to," said Count Bleck, "but the problem is... how can I put this... that sentence you just said? That's the only one I've understood since I met you."

"Fawful could... talk a bit slower, he supposes."

"That's a start. But even if I could restore your body, why would Count Bleck do such a thing for someone who has just admitted that he used to be a servant and then an enforcer of evil? That is, if he could not be one hundred percent sure that you're telling the truth when you say you'll behave yourself."

"You must!" Fawful's eyes began to tear up. "Fawful has been a lackey where he worked with much toiling for the advancement of another. Then Fawful has been a boss where he does his own planning for the advancement of himself. Both of those endeavors brought only misery in the end. Now Fawful wants only to live in peace. Only he cannot live this way, defenseless as a pile of carrots among rabbits! There must be making him whole to happen!"

Mr. L raised his hand. "Oh! Oh! I'll do it!"

"Do what?" Both Fawful and Count Bleck asked.

"I'll make sure Fawful is a good guy," said Mr. L. "I'll introduce him around to everybody and make sure everyone understands him, and find out how we can put his life back together." He tilted his head. "Or, if he's still evil, I'll put him in the incinerator."

"No! Do not force me to become the ashes of finality!" Fawful yelped.

Mr. L waved his hand. "I'm just kidding," he said lightly. "Don't be so nervous."

"Now is a bad time to be telling such unhilarious jokes!"

"Okay. You've had a rough time, haven't you?"

Count Bleck moved over to Fawful's stand and picked him up. Then he teleported over to Mr. L and put Fawful's little bean head in Mr. L's arms. "I'm entrusting him to you," said Count Bleck. "Do all those things that you said, and let me know of your progress."

"You can count on me!" Mr. L saluted Count Bleck.

"Oh, I have joy!" Fawful cried.

On the other side of the castle, Nastasia was cleaning out the pantry in the back of the kitchen. She had an enormous trash bag next to her and was stuffing it full of rotten fruit, moldy mushes, and boxes of things long past their expiration dates. When Count Bleck appeared to check on her, he was impressed to see that there was more food in the trash than on the shelves.

"Yeah, we should have done this sooner," said Nastasia when she saw Count Bleck.

"Goodness," said Count Bleck. He picked up the trash bag and tied it shut. "I'll take this to the Trash Dimension for you."

"Thanks. Oh, and just an FYI? I made a memo of all the things we're completely out of. Might want to get some of the minions on that."

Count Bleck found the list sitting on a shelf near the pantry door. He looked it over, a bit surprised. "Mushrooms? We're out of mushrooms."

"Remember when our castle was turned into a factory for Machine Mades? That was the last time we went out for mushrooms. They've all turned into dried shrooms. Our fungus has fungus on it."

"How disgusting," said Count Bleck, before he teleported to the Trash Dimension.

That evening, Mimi, Dimentio, and O'Chunks were in the recreation room, relaxing and having fun. Dimentio was reading quietly, O'Chunks was seeing which things he could bench press, and Mimi was sewing a new dress. That was when Mr. L brought Fawful in to meet them.

"Hey, everyone," said Mr. L. "I want you to meet someone." He held up Fawful.

Mimi looked up. "Gross."

O'Chunks put the pool table down and looked at the odd little bean. "Well, isn't that... eh, what is it, ezzactly?"

"This is Fawful, everyone. Fawful, this is O'Chunks, our muscle; Mimi, the fashionable shapeshifter; and Dimentio, some sort of evil jester."

"Charmed." Dimentio didn't lower his book.

"Fawful is as pleased as a cool and refreshing bowl of punch at a festive party to be meeting all of you."

"Yeah, pleased te'h make yer aquaintence, li'l guy." O'Chunks held out a huge, burly hand. Fawful put one of his skinny, spindly spider legs out. Surprisingly delicately, O'Chunks closed his fist and shook Fawful's hand.

"Such gentleness a mighty fist of crushing can have," said Fawful, surprised, as he took his hand back. "Never would Fawful have guessed that a fist as mighty as the one attached to this arm could be capable of such delicate holding... and yet here it is!"

"Well, thanks!" O'Chunks smiled.

Mr. L made a mildly surprised face at O'chunks. "You can understand him?"

"He's not so hard to understand," said O'Chunks.

"The Count doesn't get a word that comes out of his mouth."

Mr. L and O'Chunks laughed.

"Hi," said Mimi. "What are you?"

"Fawful is Beanish."

"Oh, cool! I have a pet beanlet. Her name's Felicie."

"It would please Fawful greatly to meet this beanlet."

"She's sleeping in my room," said Mimi. "I'll bring her down later."

Mr. L carried Fawful over to Dimentio. Dimento stayed where he was, reclining on the couch, nose buried in his book. He pointedly ignored Mr. L and Fawful for several long moments as they stood there silently, watching him. Dimentio lowered his book and looked at them, Fawful's face set in its usual permanent grin, and Mr. L smiling as well. Then he picked the book back up.

"Dimentio, say hello to Fawful."

"I will not," said Dimentio. "I'm reading a very fascinating book."

"You're reading a medical dictionary," said Mr. L.

"Why yes, yes I am. Please leave me be."

"Why won't you be social?"

Dimentio slammed the book shut. "Because my hatred for this little bean burns like the magma of a thousand volcanos erupted and blanketing the jungle with ash and fire."

Fawful looked up at Mr. L.

"Oh, come on," said Mr. L. "You guys have a lot in common, you know. You both used to work for a main bad guy, but ended up being villains in your own right."

"Fawful worked loyally for Cackletta," Fawful explained, "even though it was through his genius that she was allowed to shine bright like the very star they were stealing. When she became defeated Fawful realized that he had no needing of Cackletta for it was on his shoulders she was able to rise like souffle."

"Yeah," said Mr. L. "And you worked for Count Bleck so that we would get rid of him so you would be free to unleash chaos."

"Don't compare me to him. I'm nothing like him. Count Bleck was always just the mustard on the hot dog. I was pulling the strings all along."

"Yeah, well, the strings got cut a long time ago and you need to get over it."

"I am," said Dimentio. "In fact it is such that I have gotten over it that I am now attempting to read in peace." He opened the book again and found his place. "Fascinating," he said a bit loudly. "I'm reading an interesting entry on Bean Fever. It seems that the disease can only be contracted by foreigners, upon which they turn into a bean. It has been hypothesized that the current residents of Beanbean Kingdom were of another species and contracted the disease when they immigrated to the valley, eventually creating a new race of bean creatures."

Fawful cocked his head. "I have interest," he said. Then he hopped out of Mr. L's arms and landed on the arm of the couch where Dimentio was resting his head. "Fawful dabbles in diseases himself and the invention of such things."

Dimentio glanced at him. "Oh?"

"Yes. The finest creation from his genius was the Blorbs and his glorious Blorb Mushroom."

Mimi squealed suddenly. "Aww! Look how cute Dimmie and Fawful are sittin' on the couch with their book!"

Dimentio sat up. "Please never imply that I am cute in the company of someone else," he said quickly. "It makes me very uncomfortable!"

"Fawful's body was cute. That is why he has been questing greatly to get it back."

"What did you look like?" asked Mimi.

"Well..." Fawful sighed and began to reminisce. "An ordinary sort of bean, though unrivaled in his handsomeness and with this same great big grin that now is talking and describing to you. Fawful's cape was broad and glorious and imperial."

Meanwhile, Mr. L was sketching on some paper from the rec room desk. He showed what he had to Mimi. "He looked kind of like this," he explained.

"Ohhhh..." Mimi nodded knowingly. "You mean like... this?" In a puff of thick purple smoke, Mimi transformed. In a moment, Fawful found himself facing himself- a small bean man hiding in a big red cape.

Fawful seemed to frown slightly, as best one with a grin as wide as his could manage. "Yes," he said hesitantly, "only much more handsomely."

"Creepy," said Mr. L. "You look exactly like him."

"Minus handsome," Fawful added urgently.

"Aw, don't worry about it," said O'Chunks, nudging Fawful. "She never gets me beard right when she turns into me."

O'Chunks, Mimi, and Mr. L laughed heartily. Fawful looked at them, one at a time, and then he started to laugh, too.

They all had a wonderful time that night. Mimi put her dress aside and started sewing a small cape that could fit around Fawful's head. O'Chunks, with Mimi's permission, retrieved Felicie, who was excited to see another beanish creature. They played on the ground, the others sometimes watching, sometimes joining in.

Count Bleck brought Tippi down to see. "Isn't it wonderful?" he asked her as they stood outside the doorway looking in.

"It looks nice," said Tippi. "Do you think this means that Fawful won't be using us just to get his body back so he can return to his evil ways?"

"I do," said Count Bleck. "I've been watching him and reading up on him. I think he was really telling the truth, that he just wants to live his life."

"Give it a few days," said Tippi.

"Oh, I will," agreed Count Bleck, nodding quickly. "I've no intention of rushing into anything. Though I do hate to keep the poor fellow waiting, at least here he won't be at risk of being eaten up by everything bigger than him. Which is unfortunately just everything." He paused. Then: "Would you please make sure Charlotte is on her chain?"

"Of course, dear." Tippi disappeared.

Count Bleck tapped on the door frame with the jewel of his cane. "Knock knock," he said.

The minions and Fawful stopped playing and looked up.

"I do hate to bring an end to such fun times," said Count Bleck, "but I'm going to be sending you out on a mission tomorrow morning and I would like it very much if you were well-rested for it. You'll need to be up bright and early."

"In other words, bedtime," Mr. L said.

"Thank you for being so understanding," said Count Bleck. "Mr. L, could you fix up a place for Fawful to sleep in you room?"

"Ah! Fawful will be bunking with a most hated enemy, only as a dear and entreated friend. What a wonderful treat of Turkish delight fate has brought."

"Thanks," said Mr. L as he picked him up. They started walking to the door. "You're pretty cool, too."