Pairing - Charles Carson/Elsie Hughes
Rating - M/NC-17 overall
Spoilers - Series 1-5
Genre - AU angst/romance, hurt/comfort
Let's start at the end and then go back. See how it all began. Who they used to be. How they became the people we know them to be now.
Some of you will have already read the first half of this either here or on tumblr this is the complete chapter. I have no beta and this is typed on a tablet with really weird auto correct so I apologise for any mistakes.
"I can't believe you would do this, that you could think even for a second that this is a good idea." the door slammed behind them causeing Mrs Hughes to jump slightly before she followed Mr Carson down the stairs to the the corridor leading to their offices.
"Mr Carson, please."
"No," he turned his eyes dark filled with hurt and anger. "I don't want to talk about this, all I want," he paused his anger leaving him. "I just want you to tell me that you're not going to do this. Please tell me, you won't do this."
"I ... I'm ..." she shook her head and turned her gaze away from him, her teeth worring her bottom lip. She couldn't lie to him, couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear.
"No," he turned his anger returning just as quickly as it had upstairs. Everything they'd been through over the years this couldn't be the end he wouldn't allow it to be. "You can't do this to me"
"This isn't about you." The corridor was filling with staff, all wanting to know what had set the housekeeper and bulter against each other. "Or us," her voice was so quite so unlike the Mrs Hughes they all knew.
The force of his shout and his fist connecting with the wall caused all but Mrs Hughes and Mrs Patmore to flee to the safety servants dinning room.
"Charlie," Mrs Hughes' eyes moved from Mr Carson's ridged back to his hand his knuckles now red and bloody. "Charlie."
Shaking his head Mr Carson walked to his pantry slamming the the door behind him.
"Daisy," Mrs Patmore's eyes never left the housekeeper as she called for her assistant. "Fetch the first aid box then start preparing dinner." The cook shook her head, "you're leaving. Again."
Mrs Hughes looked up in shock, "how?"
"I was here all those years ago, I know what your leaving did to him last time." She took the box off a silent Daisy and held it out. "I saw you destroy him, change him and I'm seeing it again. His hand will need seeing to." She pushed the box into Mrs Hughes' hands and fixed the other woman with a dark look before turning and making her way back to kitchen. If Elsie Hughes left, again then so did she. A heart broken Charlie Carson was something she could only cope with once and she'd done her time.
Mrs Hughes tightened her grip on the box, took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders before turning toward Mr Carson's pantry.
Mr Carson looked up as Mrs Hughes walked into the room, "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry." Crossing the room she knelt down in front of placing the first aid box beside his feet. "I am the one that should be sorry, I should have told you. I wasn't expcting Lady Mary tell the family before I'd seen you."
"Still the way I reacted, was unbecoming." He winged as she ran her fingers over his knuckled, "and painful."
She gave him a small smile and opened the box, the skin was broken and starting to bruise she knew he would be in pain and would struggle with his duties for the next few days. Guilt an emotion she was familiar with, particularly when it came to Mr Carson sat heavily on her shoulders, in her gut. She'd done this, hurt him again.
"I don't understand," he whispered the silence starting to grow uncomfortable. "Are you unhappy?"
"No how could I be?" She tighten the bandage around his hand, "I have you." Reaching up she brushed her fingers through his hair. "I have you, we have our bed and breakfast and Becky is getting the best care possible. How could I not be happy."
"Then why?" He lowered his head so their eyes met, he needed to understand why she would do this. "Anna is inoccent, you told me that neither of them had done anything wrong."
"They haven't." She stood and moved across the room. "Anna didn't kill Green but there is something in her past that will go against her. I can't allow that to happen, I've let so many people down in the past. This time I can help and I must."
"And what of me, am I to stand by silently while you are convicted of a crime you did not." He moved to stand beside her placing his hand on her arm. "Could not commit."
"Charlie."
Shaking his head he reached up running his thumb over her bottom lip, "Elsie. When you left all those years I let you go. I thought it was for the best, I didn't want you to leave I needed you here but you." His voice caught as he remembered how hard it had been to let her go. "I thought it was right thing for you, grief it ..." He moved his hands to her hips. "I thought it was for the best."
"It wasn't easy for me," she brought her hands up to rest on his chest.
"I know," he sighed. "You did the same with Haxby." Her fingers curled around the lapels of his jacket, she hated remembering that time. She'd been so angry with Lady Mary, Mr Carson and herself for not speaking out. "You didn't want me to leave, you told me after it was over that you wanted to ask me to stay but didnt feel you had the right. I nearly left and you would've let me. Not this time," he slipped his index finger under the collar of her dress hooking the thin gold chain she always wore hidden out from view.
Looking down she watched as the simple gold ring she knew so well rested on the palm of his hand. Her heart clenched she loved that ring so much, had done since the day he slipped it on to her finger. Nothing could change that, she would never get rid it, all the jewels in the world couldn't mean more to her.
"Not this time," he closed his hand around the ring and lowed his head so their foreheads where touching. "I'm asking you," his voice was low but commanding. "As your husband, I am asking you not to leave me. Please Elsie don't do this."
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