I know you're frustrated with me. Your eyes bore into me, expectantly. You're waiting for an answer, but I have none. Finally you shake your head slightly and look away. I wish you would yell at me, pound your fist on the table, throw the whiteboard marker at me, anything. It would hurt less than the look of disappointment on your face.
But how can you possibly expect me to remember anything but the most basic of lessons from med school when you're standing there practically performing oral sex on that damn red lollipop?
One of these days I'm going to walk right up to you in the middle of a ddx, yank the offending candy out of your mouth, wrap my lips around it, and suck on it hard until your eyes pop out of your head. Then I'll lick your red-stained bottom lip, pop the sucker back into your mouth, and see how easy it is for you to come up with a valid diagnosis for our patient.
Maybe that day is today.