Be Ye Not Sane

Chapter 1

Dave's eyes darted around--

"Hold there, cowboy. Where am I now?" Dave placed his hands on his hips, looking rightly disturbed at the fragment of the first sentence.

I haven't even started the story yet.

"I'm still worrying."

You? Worry?

Dave scowled. "Shut yer face."

Chapter 1

Dave's eyes darted around the darkened room, look--

"Why am I in a room?"

Most fanfiction takes place in a room, or outside… Just as a default.

"Can't I be in a club? With a lot of hot, prepubescent girls… and… Randi… and…"

Shut your face, or I'll make this a romance fic between you and Lydia.

"Whhhooooooaaa, don't go there."

If you're lucky, I won't. I could just put you in a Burger King.

"Aww…"

Chapter 1

Dave's eyes dart--

"Wait a minute. Who are you?" Dave turned to peer up at the screen to see a huge misshapen face. "Are you Michael Crichton?"

Of course not. I wouldn't be lusting after your flesh if I were Michael Crichton.

"Don't be so sure."

Oh, gods! What are you talking about?

Dave inhaled deeply, about to speak.

No, wait. I don't want to know.

Chapter 1

Dave's eyes darted around the darkened club, looking for a hint of life.

"Why? So I can operate on it?"

Sigh. Why do you keep interrupting?

"I don't feel like… I don't know… Dying, or anything."

You're not going to die.

"How do I know?"

This is Dave-angst. Dave doesn't die in Dave-angst… Well, maybe for five minutes, but not permanently.

"Comforting. Very… comforting."

Marmalade sidled in, earphones firmly stuffed into her ears. Even so, the "incessant noise known as Slipknot" wafted through the air. Cein followed shortly behind her.

Dave automatically slipped, landing on his rump on the floor at the sight of the two authors.

The She Devil stuck her head in the room. "Helloooo? Is there a fanfiction here or…Is… is there a Dave?…"

Dave shrieked, scrambling to his feet in an attempt to run.

This is an Author fic. I've only written two (including this), so please don't hurt, destroy, or eat me if it's bad. It is a poor attempt at a joke.

I do not own ER. ER belongs to The Powers That Be, of who include Michael Crichton. Heh heh heh. I do, however, own a notebook full of Star Wars, ER, Zelda, PowerStone, one (terrible) SeaQuest fic, and one (abysmal) Jonny Quest fic. You do not want to read any of them except for Star Wars.

I do not own Burger King.

I definitely do not own Marmalade, Cein, or The She Devil. They will hopefully not sue me. Go read their fanfiction. It's a lot better then mine.

If you have continued to read this, go outside and play.

If you are considering reviewing this fiction, indulge in some pixi stix, as well as a visit to your school guidance counselor.