Hinata punched angrily at the large tree. Even if there were five of her circling the tree in a hug she wouldn't fit around it. That however didn't stop her from trying to punch though the bark.
Hey dad look at meThink back and talk to me
'You disgust me. You are weak, pathetic and will never be the leader of my clan.' Those were the words he gave to her.
Did I grow up according to plan?And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?But it hurts when you disapprove all along
Hinata had long since cried her tears. She was too old to be crying in self pity anyways. She was past that…now it was time to grow up and look at that cold, cold, frosty damned truth. Memories of when she was younger and training with her uncle in front of Neji and her father floated to mind. Her punching paused for a few moments before restarting again with newfound strength, all of it egged on from her emotions, most notably -anger.
And now I try hard to make itI just want to make you proudI'm never gonna be good enough for youI can't pretend thatI'm alright
Underneath her heavy jacket her muscles were rippling in agony. She had been assaulting the tree for more than a few hours; it was a wonder that her fists/ palms weren't completely torn from it all.
And you can't change me
Her lavender eyes shimmered with determined tears. She would get stronger…and it wouldn't be for him…not anymore. She was sorry that she couldn't reach his expectations…but even when she told him this...he didn't seem to be affected at all.
"'Cuz we lost it all"
He just stared at her coldly with that stupid emotionless face
"Nothing lasts forever"
His eyes just looking into her own, the ones that she had fortunately enough inherited from her mother and not him.
"I'm sorry I can't be perfect"
He didn't even speak for a while and it had killed her inside.
"Now it's just too late and We can't go back"
Those were his words… those were his words that he said and to anyone else it would've seemed to be exactly what he said…but to her it held meaning…. She would never prove to him that she was strong…that was her curse seal. She was weak. So again, she'd told him "I'm sorry I can't be perfect"
Hinata paused again and this time it took more than a few seconds to steady her breathing. 'breath…breath deeper…reach inside even more Hinata…deeper…breath deeper and slower…now exhale…exhale…..'
I try not to thinkAbout the pain I feel insideDid you know you used to be my hero?
The Hyuuga smiled softly to herself
All the days you spent with meNow seem so far awayAnd it feels like you don't care anymore
Now she laughed bitterly, a wonder to hear really. Soft spoken, lovely little Hinata-chan was becoming bitter. 'I bet you never cared once you decided I was useless…'And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I'm never gonna be good enough for you
Flash backs of her pleading for her father to notice her worthless self, she even screamed she was told…She couldn't really recall it much, she'd blacked the whole fight out.
I can't stand another fightAnd nothing's alright
She had been punching this tree since late at night and now the sun was rising up and she noticed that she was tired. However she knew if she went to sleep nightmares would only haunt her without relent.
'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts foreverI'm sorry I can't be perfectNow it's just too late and We can't go backI'm sorry I can't be perfect
Midnight blue bangs that were damp with sweat stuck to her clammy face. She heard a shocked gasp and spun around slowly from exhaustion. Neji stood there, his mouth still agape.
"H-hinata-sama?" he stepped forwards, worry was evident in his voice. She knew he thought she was weak…it was just the truth…she wouldn't even get stronger…but, that didn't mean she couldn't try.
"Hinata-sama" his voice was sharp with authority "how long have you been out here? You should go inside and get some sleep."
From where she stood she had a direct view of her father's window. Gazing past her cousin she looked and saw he stared in her direction.
Nothing's gonna change the things that you saidNothing's gonna make this right againPlease don't turn your back
Then he closed the window curtains. She winced a slight bit before her gaze made its way back to Neji.
I can't believe it's hardJust to talk to youBut you don't understand
"You don't understand." She whispered softly turning back to the tree.
'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever
"Nani….Hinata-sama, please explain to me…help me understand." His footsteps were light against the grass, most likely from his training as a ninja.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Hinata spoke her words slow to make sure that they were even and sounded calm which was exactly what she wasn't
"Now it's just too late and We can't go back"
Neji was silent for a few minutes and was about to say something but Hinata beat him to the punch.
"I'm sorry I can't be perfect"
She took a low stance in front of the tree and once again began to attack it. Her hands stung so much…so much more than before.'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts foreverI'm sorry I can't be perfectNow it's just too late and We can't go backI'm sorry I can't be perfect
The two were silent, the only sound being that made from their fists contact against the wood and the ever rare 'hic' from Hinata trying to stop the insignificant stream of tears running down her cheek. She knew that he could see them. She wasn't angry anymore.. Hinata Hyuuga was broken….she'd been it for so long, and although she was finally able to let some of it go in what she thought was anger…some of it was anger to a point she guessed….it appeared that she still had some tears to cry.
Luckily Neji didn't seem to mind seeing as didn't completely ditch her and had even joined her.
Whether out of his desire to train, to make sure she didn't hurt herself much or simply to obey his duty to serve and watch her as a member of the Branch House she didn't know…but it didn't matter…she was just glad that she had someone to keep her some company even if she thought she wanted and deserved the exact opposite for being so weak.