for katiadraws as a secret santa gift. if you've read my previous stories, you know that I ship one-sided Tadashi/Honey, so I wrote it down for once lol
Disclaimer: I don't own the copyrighted material within.
The day that Tadashi meets Honey Lemon is the day he falls in love.
Ok maybe not love-love, since he's still involved with his on-off girlfriend Denise Ishioka, but there's something about Honey that glows. He meets her while she yells Argentine Spanish (he learns there's a difference from Honey over the years) at their freshman orientation leader because their leader is a useless, reality TV-obsessed super senior who lost their schedules and group lists. As a result, he, Honey, Fred, Gogo and Wasabi team together against the forces of annoying freshman, and life changes for the better after that.
Fred gives Honey Lemon her name since Maria Lucia is a mouthful and Mariluz is for her parents, and Tadashi likes it. The name matches the light that clings to her high heeled steps, her long dark blonde hair, her megawatt smile, her gravitational pull that would never let Tadashi's eyes free. At the end of the week-long orientation he thinks about telling her about his crush…but then Denise calls and Gogo demands a no-dating-friends rule so that "they wouldn't screw up their dynamic". Oh well, he'll tell her later.
The day that Tadashi gets Abigail Callaghan as his TA is the day his love for Honey turns into something deeper.
Abigail is a friend, but neither a friend in the Group nor a close friend due to the TA-student dynamic, and therefore she's safe to let down one certain barrier with. Tadashi watches Honey closely during his study sessions, he talks about her constantly to discover the depth of his crush. Abigail teases him for not being focused but Tadashi is definitely focused, especially on the nuances of Honey's accent, how you could see her smile before her lips moved, the slender curves of her legs—
He's broken up with Denise by now, this time for good, and now he can eye Honey's shadow with only half the guilt. She's a friend in the Group, a very dear friend to him, he doesn't want to ruin it but oh, how he wants to tell her, if just to know if she feels the same way. Because when he isn't with Abigail he's with Honey, working on solvents needed for his robotics project; her number's in his phone under Mariluz and he's memorized her voice out of SFIT's crowd and he can't help it, she's the sun.
Abigail slams down her bowl of udon and demands that Tadashi gets his pretty little head out of his pretty little ass and tells Honey how he feels before Abigail tells Honey herself. Tadashi wears her resolve down with questions about aerodynamics and commercial vs private piloting and being a good student; he'll tell Honey some day, today's a bit too busy.
The day that Tadashi brings home Hiro bleeding from a bot fight is the day his love for Honey turns into something real.
His baby brother has a broken nose, a cut lip, and five cuts on his arm too precise to be an accident. Tadashi rages for blood and cleans up a silent Hiro in their shared bathroom, being careful to not wake up Aunt Cass to the sad reality of their household. Hiro doesn't say who did it, or why, and Tadashi grows so frustrated at his nonanswers that they fight and oh, it's a bad one. Everything, from Hiro's new high school diploma being ignored to Tadashi never coming home anymore, is used as a weapon and it only ends with Hiro bursting into tears and Tadashi leaving again in shame.
He wanders around San Fransokyo, begging his parents to forgive their failure of an eldest son. He doesn't plan on it, but he ends up at Honey's house, and she lets him in with a cloud of questions, worries, carne asada spices and light. Her parents fill him with good hot food that soothes the aching numbness in Tadashi's fingers and throat, and when he's waved away their concerns Honey sets him up in the guest room; it used to be her uncle's family's room, she explains, but they moved back to Argentina when Honey was 12. Tadashi traces the edge of a toddler's "Mariluz" etched on the bed post, and they end up venting to each other.
Honey misses her cousins since they were the only people her age who understood Honey's drive for chemistry from the get-go. Tadashi misses the relationship he had with Hiro before school and fighting broke it apart. Honey feels guilty for arguing with her parents because they only want the best for her, even if it meant nagging and invading her privacy. Tadashi feels guilty for not living up to the role of niisan and father figure that his parents' deaths left him.
"Tadashi no," Honey soothes as Tadashi wiped at his eyes, "You're a wonderful older brother, your parents would be so proud of you."
And in that moment Tadashi wants to kiss her so, so bad, and his hand's on her shoulder and the door's closed and her eyes glow. She cares, she understands as much as she can, and her presence is the balm to all of his traumatic drama. But he doesn't, he hugs her instead and bids her goodnight; he can't tell her, not like this when he's broken, he'll tell her as the man she deserves.
The day that Tadashi dies is the day his love for Honey could have become official.
He has a chance to tell her, while Hiro's signing up for his presentation and after Gogo has led Wasabi and Fred off in search of free food. Honey wears her yellow dress, one of Tadashi's favorites since it matches her name and her glow so well. And when she smiles at him her lips pull his eyes in until they stand close enough for Tadashi to taste her sunlight.
He pulls away, because tonight is for his brother and he'll tell her some other time, a better time.
And then the fire, and the betrayal, and he dies.
Honey is not the last thing in his mind, that's Hiro in a spectrum of memories from the day tiny-tiny fingers wrapped around Tadashi's thumb. But her glow is there, his love for her surging up with the love he has for his friends and family and Hiro, oh god Hiro, he needs more time to tell his brother how proud he is of him, how much he loves his best friends, how he feels for Honey whenever she smiles, he—
Tadashi dies and takes his love with him, because Honey never knew how he felt, and now she never will.