A/N: This is just a little one shot that flew into my head when I wasn't paying attention . I have taken some liberties with the dialogue from last night's episode. I hope you enjoy! The flashbacks are in bold and italics and Izzie's thoughts are just in italics.
A/N 2: I do not own Grey's, Shonda does…
I'm Not Ready
You told me you weren't ready…Alex's words wafted through Izzie's mind as she sat in the cold empty hallway of the hospital. She finally found a quiet place to think, a place to get away from the prying eyes and ears of the hospital. She had just had the confrontation from hell with Callie and then she had to deal with Alex. O'Malley? You're ready with O'Malley? Izzie dropped her head against the wall. What was wrong with George? Nothing. She thought. Nothing, if you don't count the fact that George was married. Married, what the hell am I doing? He's married and I am acting as if it is doesn't matter. Izzie's head fell forward and rested on her knees. She turned her head to the left and fixed her eyes on the spot where she stood with Callie moments before.
Callie. Calliopie. Who names their daughter after an amusement park ride? I tried not to like her. I really did, but the look on her face made me almost feel sorry for her. She looked beaten and destroyed. I made her look like that. Knowing that, I could do that to another woman makes the bile rise in the back of my throat. I never wanted to be that woman. I just wanted to be loved. Denny's death affected me more than I even realized until this moment. Izzie closed her eyes and let her thoughts drift back to Alex.
You told me like I was one of your chick friends…I deserve better than that… Alex. Alex has been my rock. He has gotten me through all of my rough patches, in one form or another. He is right though. She thought miserably. He deserved to find out about George, in a way that wouldn't hurt him. She got up and started to make her way out of the hospital. He deserves better than me. I have to fix this. Izzie was exiting the hospital and saw George and Callie standing out in the rain. She hid to avoid being scene, but she could still hear what was being said.
"You don't forgive me," George said in a strained voice. "I wish you did, but you don't." He sighed deeply before continuing. "You were right though," Callie turned around, but still did not look at him, so he continued. "I made a mistake, Izzie was a mistake."
"You're right," Callie said, looking at him for the first time all day. "I don't forgive you," She paused and squared her shoulders, looking him straight in the eye. "But, I could." She finished, turned and left.
George smiled slightly and turned to walk away. Izzie, slowly made her way to the bench and sat down. She lifted her face to the sky and let the rain wash her tears away. A mistake? He said I was a mistake. I can't believe I was so stupid. She thought angrily. I thought I was in love with him. What a freaking joke. He only thought of me as a mistake. Alex! She thought suddenly. I need Alex. I don't want to be a mistake. I want to be someone's whole world. I think I had that with Alex and I blew it. Izzie rushed to her car, so she could get home to fix things with Alex.
She walked into the house, desperately searching for Alex. She walked upstairs hoping to find him in his room. She took a deep breath before knocking. She received no response, so she gently pushed the door open.
"Alex," Izzie whispered, as she entered the room. The scene before her filled her eyes with fresh tears. He was standing by the window, looking out, with his hand pressed against the glass. He looks so lost. She thought. She stepped into the room, but not daring to go any further. She shut and locked the door behind her.
Alex turned around to face her. His eyes were swollen and tired. Izzie wasted no time, in case he threw her out.
"I'm Sorry," Izzie said. "I should have told you about George in a different way." Izzie caught his eye then and their gazes locked. "You are not one of my 'chick friends,'" She stated, borrowing his phrase. "You are so much more than that. I realize that now." She took a deep breath. "George was a mistake, I will regret for the rest of my life."
"You kissed me last year, and it scared the crap out of me," Izzie paused, but he didn't say anything, so she rushed on. "I told you I wasn't ready, which was true, then," Izzie whispered. She looked at him, looking for any sign of recognition. "I am telling you now, that I am ready, and I deserve better than George, I deserve you, Alex," Izzie stopped then and waited for his response.
Alex didn't need to ask to know that Izzie was telling the truth. He could tell by looking at the love that shone in her eyes. He simply opened his arms and she stepped right into them. They had both made mistakes, but as they stood there in front of the window holding each other, they were both ready to heal.
A/N: I hope you liked that…I enjoyed writing it. Please read and review. I'd love to know what you thought. Bethany
