This is dedicated to my best friend and completely platonic lifemate, Litalo or MuseRavyn or whatever she's going by on this site now. Hopefully this cheers us both up and keeps us from setting things on fire or breaking things at our jobs.

Yes, I am doing another one. It makes me happy and keeps me sane. Will update on Saturdays from now on, assuming I have time to write.

Prompt: Coffee

"I made coffee," Reno announced as soon as Tseng and Rude stepped into the breakroom. The two Turks stopped and exchanged looks before eyeing the third. Reno continued to grin like there were not implications in what he had just announced, leaning back in his comfortable chair with his own cup of coffee gripped lightly in one hand. He took a sip, as if to prove he hadn't poisoned it. Neither Turk was relieved.

"What kind?" Tseng demanded, leaving Rude in the doorway to stalk over to the coffee pot and inspect it for quality. It looked and smelled like coffee, but that didn't mean it wasn't hiding something horrible. If one wanted to know what horrors could come out of a normal pot of coffee, look no further than the science department and their coffee pot (no one wanted to talk about what Hojo did to it).

Reno tilted his head to the side, considering the question for a moment. Tell the truth or obfuscate until Tseng hit him with a chair? Like it was a real decision. Reno shifted in the chair to make himself comfortable, shrugging dramatically in the same motion. "Just something I found lying around," he confessed with a smirk, taking another sip.

Tseng's head snapped around so fast that he might have given himself whiplash, glaring at Reno like he he was judging the redhead's sins (and there were many). At this point, Rude had figured out what was going on and had moved from the doorway to beside Tseng, helping himself to his own cup of coffee. Reno ignored Tseng's glare in favor of making a face at Rude as he defiled the purity of his coffee with creamer (as if he himself hadn't dumped half a cup of sugar in his own, but at least he didn't change the color).

"It's fine Boss," Rude said, lifting his drink up to sniff it, one last final text before he tilted his head back and chugged it down with all the finesse of a frat boy with a can of beer. Tseng and Reno watched him, one with trepidation, the other with detached amusement. Finally the cup was empty and Rude brought it down, tilting his head in such a way that suggested he was eyeing it behind his sunglasses.

"Well?" Tseng demanded, wanting to know if he should head towards another coffeepot untouched by Reno or the science department. Rude shrugged and made himself another cup, downing it much in the same manner as the first. Tseng glanced at Reno, who was watching with fascination, his own cup forgotten.

"Meh," Rude pronounced, shrugging his shoulders and looking at Tseng. "It doesn't taste like coffee," he explained when Tseng's expression darkened.

"But it is coffee!" Reno exclaimed from his little corner, practically cackling to himself. Tseng fixed him with another glare.

"Did you steal from a convenience store again?" Tseng demanded. Not that he had anything against convenience stores and their battery acid disguised as coffee, he just expected a higher quality cup of coffee when he was at work. If there was one thing that was uniform across all departments (again, except the science division) it their dependence on coffee, which resulted in higher quality caffeine across the board.

Reno tilted his head to the side, grinning like a maniac as he studied him. "Nope," he said, taking another sip calmly.

Rude and Tseng exchanged looks. Tseng looked deliberately at the coffee pot then back to Rude's shades, asking without asking if he should turn back around and risk 'borrowing' from Reeve's coffeepot until they finished what was in the pot. Rude shrugged, turning back to doctor up another cup of coffee. Reno watched him, eyes rolling towards the ceiling as he put in enough creamer to make it almost white.

Tseng watched them both, gaze flicking from one cup of coffee to the other. With a resigned sigh, he grabbed one of the empty cups on the table and began to slowly fill it with coffee. As soon as he was satisfied with the amount, he put in enough creamer to turn it two shades lighter and half as much sugar as Reno did. Then he paused, cup in hand as he stared into the liquid like it could predict the future.

"Wouldn't poison ya," Reno reminded him with a grin, one that was entirely too cheerful for Tseng's liking. Instead of dignifying that with a response, Tseng took a sip of his coffee. And then immediately spit it out.

"This is tea," Tseng stated in the most horrified tone he could muster, glaring at his coffee cup like it has pissed in his cornflakes and murdered his children. Rude froze, midway through chugging another cup, coffee-tea(?) spilling onto his shirt as he blinked in confusion. Reno let out a high-pitched noise and burst into laughter, spilling his own tea all over himself as he folded in on himself, one hand holding his stomach. Rude resumed drinking, having decided that as long as it has caffeine, he doesn't care (he can change his shirt).

"It's not though," Reno protested between bouts of laughter. He had set his drink on the table after the spill, one hand still over his stomach, the other crossed over his chest. He looked ridiculous, but when did he not?

Tseng glared at him and took another cautious sip, immediately making a face. The coffee flavor was barely there at all, almost over-powered by the taste of something else. Not as strong, but smoother, lacking the bite that made coffee coffee. It might have been hidden by the amount of creamer and sugar he put in, but he doubted it.

"This is tea," Tseng repeated, putting his cup down and glaring at the redhead still cackling like his life depended on it. He shook his head, turning on his heel and stalking to the door. When he reached the doorway he paused, glancing at Reno as he pressed to button to open the door.

"You're cleaning this up," he snapped, swiping his free hand to indicate all of the beverage-related mess that was directly his fault for making tea in the coffee pot again. He rolled his eyes as Reno waved him off, Rude still staring at the coffee pot like it had betrayed him and then left the room.

Reeve would never have allowed this to happen. So Tseng was going to steal his coffee and pretend he knew nothing about this. No matter what the consequences were.

[Unwritten Rule #?: Never put tea in the coffeemaker. Tseng changed it to a written rule immediately after this incident and made sure it was a punishable offense.]

Thank you so much for reading, if you have any thoughts you'd like to share, kindly leave a review.

I am accepting prompts for this fic [Nothing above R or involving bodily fluids please]. So feel free to request anything you'd like to see from me in the future.