To the Dogs
A collection of failures in communication by Moonraker One
Walking down the street, was a hanyou hiding his true identity underneath a baseball cap. Inuyasha had decided to go exploring the city of Tokyo free of Kagome, and that way he could get his own feel for the modern world without her having to explain any damned thing. One thing he decided upon was to leave Tetsusaiga at the Higurashi shrine. If the modern world really was as free of danger as she told him, he'd have no need for it.
A young man standing in an alleyway with two of his friends conversed loudly. Inuyasha had no desire to listen in, but picked up a number of words he had never before heard.
"…and I told him, 'shut up you little fuck!' He didn't…" Fuck? the dog demon thought. What does that mean? It was not all. More colorful language he accidentally listened to. "…well, shit! I thought…" Shit? What were these words he'd never heard? And finally, he heard the longest of them all: "She was all on my ass, so I called her the bitch she was!" He shook his head, walking on. He had to figure out what these words meant.
Down the street he saw a young school teacher loading her brief case into the trunk of her car, and he approached her. "Excuse me, ma'am?" She turned her head.
"Yes, sir?"
He cleared his throat. "I've heard some words being used, and I don't know what they mean. Can you help me and tell me what they are?"
She closed the trunk. "Okay, go on."
"What is fuck?" An intense moment of silence followed his inquiry. Taken aback by his swearing, she didn't know to feel angry or what, but seeing the confusion in his eyes told her he either was looking for a cheap laugh, or genuinely didn't know. What should she tell him, she wondered? Should she tell the truth? No. She decided against that. No use giving him the wrong impression.
"Well, um…young man, fuck, as it is, means 'to get dressed' or 'to dress.' That's what it means." She waited for him to yell, "fooled you!" or some silly prank phrase like that, but it didn't came. Instead…
"And, I also heard this word, bitch."
She lifted an eyebrow. Was this young man an idiot or had he simply been born in a cave? "A bitch is someone of high religious status, like a monk or a priest."
Pleased, the dog demon nodded with a smile. "Thank you. Oh, and, um, what does shit mean?"
She thought a moment. "Well, shit, refers to food."
He waved and walked away. She smiled. Once out of hearing range, she whispered to herself, "What a moron."
Later that day, arriving back at the Higurashi shrine, he sat in the kitchen with Kagome. Her parents were upstairs. "How was your day, Inuyasha?"
He folded his arms. "This world of yours is a bit weird. It isn't bad, just…bizarre. I never expected some of the things I saw."
She checked the time. "Look, Inuyasha, I have to go upstairs and help my mom get into her new dress. We've got company coming in about a few minutes. Be nice to him."
It wasn't five seconds after she walked upstairs that the door opened. Inuyasha had already donned his cap and bowed before the man. He could tell the guy was a Buddhist monk from a nearby temple. He glanced a moment at the already set table.
"Hey, bitch, the shit's on the table and Kagome's upstairs fucking her mother."