I fell for you hard, and fast. Your body was like my safe-haven. In a world of darkness and depression, you quickly became my light. We met at a school event.. I wonder how my life would be different if I had never met you. I understood your humor immediately, and you made me laugh like I haven't before. You came off as quite the player, but I decided to give you a shot. We "dated" a little over six months. You were my first boyfriend, my first kiss.. my first everything. You broke my heart. Over the phone. I'm sure that less than a day later someone else called you "theirs." My friends told me how much they hated you and how they were going to get revenge. I went along with it and acted as though I felt the same.
But I couldn't lie to myself forever. Every time I saw you- you stupid, irresistible boy- my heart ached. I tried my best to stay away from you and do my best to forget everything we had.. or at least what I thought we had.
It was difficult- you and I had a class together. I had to create a monologue for you to practice and recite. The first day I spoke to you again proved my feelings for you. To hear your low, perfect voice say my name made me feel happy again. For the first time in seven months. I felt whole again, like something had been missing all along. I was drawn to you like a fly to a light on a dark night. I tried to work up the courage to tell you how I truly felt... although it was stupid, I know, I felt the faintest glimmer of hope that maybe, somewhere, you felt the same.
I couldn't bring myself to tell you in person- I've always been afraid of rejection. I couldn't bear seeing you laugh in my face and walk off with her after calling me something awful. (I was about 99% sure that would happen)
Instead, I did merely what practically everyone my age would do- tell you by a text message. Perfect. Just control my autocorrect and bam, I could easily "tell" you everything without seeing the smirk I was sure you would make.
I thought of this plan one day after meeting you once again whilst driving home from school.. God, you were cute. Immediately I sprang into action. It was now or never, if I thought about this idea too much I would most likely chicken out. I slipped the cell phone out of my hoodie pocket and began texting hastily, eyeing the road ahead of me when I could. I approached a red light and stopped, continuing my text. I, unbeknownst to me, pressed down the gas pedal. The car started to move down the intersection. "I can't keep pretending anymore.." I had texted when I looked up from my cell. All I could see was a black car inches before me, causing me to freeze. I had no idea what to do. I heard a huge crack come from somewhere in my body before all of my senses stopped, and all I could see was darkness. I was a goner, and I knew it.