The Perfect Sky Is Torn
Chapter 1: Abandonment
Song: Torn by Natalie Imbruglia
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on, nothing's fine I'm torn
Sam inched the door open very quietly. He saw Dean, side to him, head in his hands and tears drifting down to rest on his cheeks and nose. Sam had heard him cry for the last few minutes and finally couldn't take it anymore.
"Dean?"
Dean looked over at Sam and he could see the hurt in his eyes. His hazels were glimmering with unshed tears, and he breathed heavily. He looked like a mess, and Sam, even more concerned now, stepped closer. He waited for his brother to do something, say something, before he dared to breach his personal space and walk closer.
"What's wrong?"
Dean choked back a sob.
"He left."
Shit, Sam thinks. The angel finally left him. He had been waiting for Cas to do this to his brother, to break his heart and what was left of his soul completely. And he had vowed to rip that angel to shreds if it ever happened, if he ever hurt his brother. And he did. The son of a bitch finally did. He broke out of his reverie when he saw his big brother, right before his very eyes, break down completely.
"Oh no."
Sam finally allowed himself to wrap his arms around Dean and hug him tightly.
"It's my fault."
"No Dean, it isn't. I knew that he was going to do this to you. And I never should have let this happen. It's my fault, Dean. I should have protected you."
Sam smiled, trying to be strong and reassure his shaking brother.
"And I'm supposed to have my big brother's back."
Dean just leaned into Sam farther, sobbing what was left of his heart out."
"Tell me what happened."
Dean collapsed into Sam's arms and Sam didn't mind, holding him up and hugging him tighter. His brother swallowed and his voice was cracking and thick with emotion.
"He said he had to go and I..." Dean sniffled and continued. "We got into an argument which led to a fight and I...don't remember much. Except saying that if he left me again he shouldn't come back."
"Dean..."
"I did it, Sammy. What is wrong with me? Why does everyone I love always leave me?"
"I'm right here, Dean. And I'm not going anywhere, you hear me? I'll never leave you.
Sam was rewarded with more of Dean's tears, and he could feel them soak through his shirt. Finally, he ran a hand over his face and pulled away.
"I need to go get cleaned up."
Here he was, doing it again. Putting back on his familiar tough guy act, acting like nothing was wrong, and doing the thing Sam hated, hated the most. Not allowing himself to seek comfort when he needed it more than anything right now. But Sam? He didn't want to push him. Dean would talk sooner or later, he would make sure of that. Something as big as this he couldn't keep inside. But for now, Sam let him go stagger off to the bathroom and clear his mind.
"Yeah sure. I'll be right here waiting when you get back."
"Sammy, you're not my type. Though I must say I'm flattered."
Sam laughed, still finding it a shock after living all this time with his brother that he was still able to make jokes no matter how down he felt.
"Sure, Dean. Sure."
And with that, Dean was gone.
2 Weeks Later…
"I'm still not able to get a hold of him."
"Dude, forget it. He'll show up just like always, whenever the hell he feels like it. Or we'll never see him again."
"Maybe I should leave another message.
"Just let it go."
"No Dean, I'm not gonna let this go. He hurt you okay? And no one hurts my big brother as long as I'm around."
"Sam, he's an angel. You can't exactly do anything to an angel."
"Oh believe me, I'll find a way to make him pay."
"Don't Sam. Okay?"
"Why not?"
"Cause it's not gonna help matters any!"
"He never deserved you anyway, Dean. The only thing he was good at was leaving you."
Dean looked out the window, trying and failing to hide his tears from Sam. Sam looked over and wanted to say something, but he was all out of words. So he just drove, hoping more than anything else in the world that he would find the angel Castiel. And if he didn't, then something bad would happen to the angel. Because no one. No One hurt his Dean and got away with it.
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn
To be continued…