AN:

While not necessary in order to read this story, I'd recommend reading my fic 'Meet The States' first. A few of the states that will feature in this series (Maryland, Texas, Alaska, California, Hawaii, Nevada and New York) are in that story.

A few of these one-shots, when focusing on one of the seven states mentioned above, may take place after that story, meaning I may be mentioning the relationships developed between the States and certain Nations from my previous fic (eg: Hawaii befriended Japan, California befriended Germany...) or events that took place in the fic. Don't worry about it to much though; if this plays a major part in one of my one shots, I'll make sure to mention it in an authors note and give you a bit of background info.

Now enough talking; I hope you enjoy this fic. And for those of you who were fans of my other States fic...I hope you find this one just as good and enjoy reading about some of the familiar faces, as well as newer ones :D

...

America and his original thirteen States.

...

They were driving him insane.

Staring with blurred, sleep-depraved eyes at the hyperactive children in front of him, America couldn't help but wonder when his life had gone to hell.

Why did his states have to be personified? Why couldn't he be ilke all the other countries in the world who only had to deal with slabs of land and the people living upon them - not living, breathing, annoying as hell personifications?

People often said that parenthood was the most amazing thing; something that they wouldn't give up for the world. To America, that was nothing more than a load of bullshit. Parenthood wasn't amazing or fun or anything like that; it was living hell. These thirteen...things; they weren't children. They were the spawn of the devil.

"Daddy!" wailed Georgia, her southern accent filling his ears. "Cari took my dolly!" the girl had tears streaming down her rosy red cheeks. America winced and glanced in the direction she was pointing.

Her doll was firmly grasped in the arms of North Carolina. Or was it South Carolina? America groaned; life just didn't love him, did it? Why did he have to go and get dumped with twins on top of everything else?!

"North or South?" he asked the girl, tiredly.

"North" North Carolina replied, proudly. "Duh!"

America's eye twitched. "Give your sister back her doll."

The girl clutched it to her chest and shook her head wildly. "No!" she snapped, her eyes flashing.

America stared at her with wide, hopeless eyes, wondering how the hell he had made it this far without completely cracking.

"North Carolina" he said, trying to keep his voice calm. "Just give back -"

"DADDY!" America's head snapped to the side, just in time to see Pennsylvania barrelling down the staircase at an alarming speed. America considered warning the child not to do that in case he fell and broke his neck but then found that he really couldn't be bothered. Anyway, it wasn't like states could die...right?

"Daddy!" Pennsylvania came to an abrupt stop in front of him. He stared at his father with wide eyes. "Come play ball with me outside!"

America smiled at his son, as pleasantly as he could.

"No" he said.

Pennsylvania pouted. "But Daaaaaaaaaady" he whined. "You promised!"

"No I didn't" America replied, calmly. "I'm not stupid enough to make promises in this house."

Pennsylvania opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by a hysterical shriek. Both father and son turned to stare at Georgia, whose face was red from the effort of bawling her eyes out. South Carolina had joined her twin sister, and together, they were proceeding to take Georgia's doll apart.

"Noooooooooooooooooo!" Georgia wailed. "Daddy, do something!"

America whimpered.

"...So, ball?" Pennsylvnia cut in.

Taking a deep breath to keep himself from screaming, America called out; "Delaware! Mary!"

Two children entered the room a moment later.

"You called me Mary" scowled one of them - a small boy. "That's not my name! It's Maryland!"

"Yeah, whatever" America waved a hand at his, dissmissively. "Just go play with your brother, alright?"

Maryland's face changed to one of horror. "No!" he wailed. "Daddy, you can't do that! Penn's always hurting me when we play -"

" - Not my fault you can't kick a ball" scowled Pennsylvania. "Stop blaming me for everything!"

"Have fun boys" America said, ushering them out of the house.

"Daddy, I want you to play!" Pennsylvania pleaded. America gave his son a big smile - he then slammed the door in his face and turned around. Georgia was still wailing, the twins were still cackling, and the doll was completely disfigured. America turned to Delaware - his most responsible child, in his opinion - and nodded his head at her.

"Deal with this" he said.

Without waiting for a reply, he staggered out of the room. Dammit, he needed sleep. Maybe if he locked himself in his room, the little demons couldn't get to him -

"Hey, hey!" he yelled, coming to a halt as he came across a bit of a barrier; Rhode Island and Massachusetts rolling around on the ground while New York watched them with wide, eager eyes.

America stared at them, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do about this. What was more important - the safety of his children or his lovely, warm, cosy bed?

The answer was obvious.

"Don't hurt each other too bad, okay?" he stepped over them and stopped briefly to ruffle New York's hair (the kid was as annoying as his siblings but, hey, he was still pretty cool) and moved to exit the room. "If you need anything, ask Delaware."

America hurried down the corridor, averting his eyes when he caught Virginia curled up in a corner, guzzling down a large slab of chocolate. Letting her finish all of it didn't make him a bad father, did it? No...he'd just be a cool one. Cooler than all the other losers out there.

After a moment of hesitation he told her; "If you get a stomach ache or feel like throwing up, speak to Delaware, okay?"

He hurried past.

When he finally reached his bedroom (thank god) he opened the door and hurled himself inside. He let out a sigh of relief and made his way over to his bed, preparing to throw himself inside and go to sleep and have pleasant dreams that didn't involve his thirteen states -

- But no. He just couldn't escape them, could he?

Connecticut, New Hampshire and New Jersey were all curled up in his bed. Connecticut, who was an annoying kid who always bragged about how he was the best of all the states, and how he had the most money, and how he was the best looking was currently snoring loud enough to wake up the dead. Beside him, New Hampshire and New Jersey were snuggled in each other's arms.

It made a cute picture...that much, America had to admit.

Cute pictures weren't going to help him get some much needed sleep though.

Gently America loaded his arms with the three sleeping children (maybe he should stop letting them load themselves up with chocolate - they were getting heavy) walked over to the door, opened it -

- and dumped them outside.

Connecticut remained sleeping, his snores only growing louder. New Hampshire and New Jersey both stirred and looked around in confusion.

America shut the door, bolted the lock and then stumbled over to his bed. He curled up in bed and allowed himself to fall asleep.

America remained this way for the next few hours, blissfully unaware if the Carolina twin's howls as Georgia extracted her revenge, Pennsylvania's cry of "DAD - MARY FELL OF THE ROOF...DON'T ASK ME HOW HE GOT UP THERE...", Delaware's moans of how she was too young to deal with this...and pretty much everything else.

And then he woke up.