Living Nightmare

Author's note: This oneshot is dedicated to one of my best friends pokeyspot! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETIE! *hugs* Enjoy your birthday gift, honey ;)

Warnings: angst, mainly angst. It started out as a romantic/humor one, but it ended up in romantic/angst. Yeah, don't ask. So angst, Mpreg (but just in passing not really described), Sasunaru

Oh and I know the beginning is probably boring, but it's the set up for the whole story, kay? Kay.

!When you reach the middle, don't curse at me, just read on and everything will be clear at the end, okay? It's supposed to be confusing at first ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto - Kishimoto owns it

Enjoy it, sweeties! Thanks to itachisgurl93 for editing it!

The last couple of years had been very strange for Uchiha Sasuke. After having killed Orochimaru and gathering his own team, he had started his search for his brother Itachi. It had taken him some time to find Itachi but he had finally found him waiting for him. Sasuke would be lying if he said he had been sure he would win. It didn't matter to him whether he won or not, as long as he could get his revenge. And he had gotten his revenge.

After Itachi's death, Sasuke had lost himself in a dark, vicious hatred against Konoha and her leaders. It had been Konoha's council's fault he had lost his family and he would make them pay. He had gotten as far as killing the new Hokage, Danzo. He had been surprised to see Danzo as the Hokage instead of Tsunade, but it worked out for him in the end. However in order to kill Danzo, he had had to sacrifice Karin. He had already lost Juugo and Suigetsu during the Kage meeting and it had been quite annoying to have lost two good team members in one time, but there had been nothing he could do to help them.

After murdering Danzo, he had disappeared from the village, having vague thoughts of finding out more about the mysterious Madara.

Of course he hadn't counted on the stubborn, persistent Naruto, who refused to let go of him. The Kyuubi carrier had found him thirty miles away from Konoha in an open space in the woods. He had come alone, knowing that his friends would have attacked the young Uchiha to kill.

Sasuke had thought he could have defeated his former best friend as easily as he had done many times before. He had been wrong, very wrong.

Naruto had done nothing but training hard all the time, driven by his desire to have his best friend back.

Their fight had been brutal and vicious. Someone else would have died a long time ago, but they were not ordinary ninjas. Possibly, they were the strongest ninjas in the world now, no question about it.

Finally, Naruto had had Sasuke on the ground, kunai pressed against his throat, drawing a thin line of blood. Sasuke's sword had fallen uselessly on the ground, a few feet away from the two young men.

Sasuke could have used the Mangekyo Sharingan – it would have been perfect; Naruto was sitting on his stomach, holding down his hands and staring right into Sasuke's eyes. He had been as vulnerable as a baby, especially because the young blond sucked at escaping genjutsu.

It would have been perfect – except that Sasuke had had to turn off his Sharingan, because dark spots had appeared before his eyes, partly blinding him.

For the first time in their life, Naruto had had the upper hand.

Flashback

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Sasuke asked icily. "Kill me."

Naruto blinked, breathing heavily. His whole body was dirty with blood – both his and Sasuke's – and grime, his clothes torn. Kyuubi had started to heal him, cursing the man for his stupidity and threatening to just let him bleed to death. Naruto wasn't worried about that; Kyuubi would never let him die. Their lives were intertwined; if Naruto died, the demon died. The fox would prevent that from happening.

Cerulean blue eyes bored down in cold, onyx ones, desperately searching for even a small glimpse of his friend. The boy who had teased him, trained with him, treated him to ramen … That boy was still there, Naruto was sure of that. All he had to do was bring that boy back.

"Why would I want to kill you?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Sorts of defeats the purpose of bringing you back if I killed you, wouldn't it?"

"If you don't kill me, you are the one who's going to get killed," Sasuke informed him in a monotone voice.

Not one single trace of emotion could be seen on his face. He was completely blank, devoid of anything emotional, human.

Naruto sighed frustrated, removing the kunai and throwing the weapon away, choosing instead to grip the strong, pale shoulders – filthy with blood – shaking him hard.

"Come on, Sasuke, don't be like that," Naruto murmured. "What can you possibly do now? What's your purpose now? You killed Orochimaru, Deidara, Itachi and Danzo. You fulfilled your goal of revenge. There is nothing left. Why won't you come home? Just come back; everyone misses you."

Naruto started when Sasuke laughed harshly, his black eyes gleaming maniacally, almost demonically.

Blue eyes stared in shock at the laughing man, fear prickling his senses. This maniac was not his best friend; it was a shallow shell of it, someone very screwed up, swallowed up in hatred and rage.

Still Naruto didn't budge, didn't flee. Sasuke was still his special person, the one he had trained hard for to return him back. It didn't matter that he was acting deranged now; he was still his best friend.

As quickly as the harsh laughing had started, it disappeared again, leaving behind an eerie silence. The wind had laid down; the animals had searched for shelter. The two young men were all alone, enclosed in their own private bubble, their attention solely on each other.

Sasuke stared at Naruto, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Missing me?" His soft voice cut through the heavy silence, making Naruto wince. "They don't miss me; they never missed me, never will."

"That's not true!" Naruto protested. "I miss you; Sakura-chan misses you, even Kaka-sensei…"

"You're lying," Sasuke cut in smoothly. "I seem to remember Sakura attacking me not too long ago. Strange way of showing she misses me."

Naruto swallowed, knowing he couldn't raise any objections. Sakura had indeed attacked him. Granted she hadn't succeeded, but it had clearly shown her new feelings towards the raven haired Uchiha.

"She's just … mad at you for leaving," he replied lamely.

Sasuke just stared at him, lying down serenely on the ground.

"But you never answered me," Naruto pushed further, realizing this was his last chance to convince Sasuke to come with him. "Why won't you come back?"

"Dobe," Sasuke paused, feeling the word settle heavily on his tongue, filling his mouth with the foreign feeling of the nickname he hadn't uttered for five years. "Do you honestly think they will let me back in the village after everything I did? I betrayed the village; they won't let me come back."

"Yes they will! I'll talk to Tsunade-baa-chan; she'll help you!" Naruto answered, getting desperate. He wouldn't let Sasuke slip through his fingers, wouldn't lose him again.

If he let him go now, he would lose him for good, no chance at getting him back again.

Fear reached out with his tendrils, wrapping and slithering around his lungs, squeezing tightly, making it hard to breathe.

Naruto froze when something cold, hard to the touch, touched his scarred, smudgy cheek and stayed there. Smooth, cold skin. Rough finger tops. Rough, but at the same time tender, soft.

Naruto swallowed with difficulty, blue eyes looking down, watching a pale hand holding his cheek.

Cerulean blue dropped down, locking on onyx black. "Sasuke?" he said softly, holding his breath.

A wry smirk. "You're such a stupid moron."

A sigh, a murmur and a nod. A soft smile. Exhausted walking.

That was the day Uchiha Sasuke returned back to Konoha after a five years absence.

End flashback

However, returning Sasuke back to the village didn't go as easy as Naruto had dreamt about. Naruto had managed to sneak Sasuke in unnoticed, bringing him to his small, empty apartment.

They had collapsed on the ground, their last energy spent on walking back home.

They rested for four days before Naruto had sent a message to the Hokage, asking for help. He and Sasuke had agreed it would be too dangerous for Sasuke to reveal himself already.

Waiting for Tsunade had been the most awkward time in Naruto's life. He had finally gotten his best friend back, but he had never felt so alone before.

Sasuke sat calmly on his couch, his sword next to him, his wounds bandaged up. He had barely said a word since his return and Naruto was left wondering if it was even possible for them to mend their broken bond. They could never go back to the time where they just had started in Team Seven, where they still were innocent and not thinking of revenge. Naruto knew that, but he still hoped they would regain some resemblance of normality back.

He had taken to pacing around, thinking on how he was supposed to fix this crazy mess. A sharp tug on his hand made him fall on the couch next to Sasuke.

He stared at Sasuke, wordlessly asking him what the hell was wrong with him.

Sasuke stared back. "Your pacing was annoying me," he explained dryly.

"Teme! If I want to pace, I'm gonna freaking pace!" Naruto growled.

Sasuke snorted and looked away, not acknowledging the other young man in any way which seriously pissed Naruto off.

He was just contemplating ways to get revenge on Sasuke for stopping his pacing when his door slammed open and Tsunade came storming in.

"All right, you fucking brat, what's the problem now? I have patients to go to, so make it quick," Tsunade snapped, but came to an abrupt halt when she saw Sasuke sitting on the couch, looking out of the window idly.

"What is he doing here?" Her voice got soft, more smooth and that made Naruto nervous. He knew he was only seconds away from getting pummeled through the floor so he quickly explained what had been going on and why Sasuke was suddenly sitting in his apartment.

Tsunade had not been pleased. Her first thought had been to deliver Sasuke to the council to get him a trial. Naruto must have talked for hours to her, pleading her to give Sasuke a new chance, saying he wouldn't leave the village again.

All the woman could do was promise she would talk about Sasuke's case to the elders, but she warned them it was possible it wouldn't turn out well for Sasuke.

It didn't turn out well. Tsunade had asked hypothetically what would happen if Sasuke ever returned to the village. He would have received two options - give the council heirs that they could control or die.

Neither option had appealed to Sasuke. He didn't want to die and he certainly didn't want to fuck some girl that the council approved of and have some kids that would be under complete control of the council.

Naruto had been agonizing for two whole weeks, trying to come up with a way to keep Sasuke safe from the council's grip. Besides that, he had to make sure his friends didn't find out about his new roommate and he lived in constant fear that one day when he returned back to his home, Sasuke would be gone, left his home and the village; left him. At night, he slept in the same room as Sasuke, keeping his sleep light so that he woke up at the slightest movement of Sasuke. It turned out he didn't have to fear; the one time that Sasuke had left the house – and had made Naruto panicking for a full blown hour, paralyzed with fear and shock – was to get some fresh air.

Naruto had wanted to ask many times why Sasuke didn't leave. He had the opportunity every day and it wasn't as if he wasn't strong enough to deceive everyone. He could have left at any moment, but he never did. He stayed. And Naruto was too afraid to disrupt the delicate balance that was now their bond.

Eventually it turned out that Sasuke had to leave the village, willingly or not. The council had heard of his presence and had wanted to send ANBU after him. Tsunade had had enough time to warn the two men, giving them enough time to escape to the forest.

After wandering through the forest for three days, they had stumbled on a small cottage, deserted but livable.

Naruto had to leave Sasuke alone to return back to the village to get supplies for the Uchiha, but he had been reluctant to do so. He still didn't trust Sasuke to stay where he was, but after getting a good pummeling – like they used to do when they were younger – Naruto had been strangely reassured that Sasuke would stay put and had run back to the village.

The council had been suspicious as to where he had been, but Tsunade had waved their suspicion aside, bringing out a document with the mission that Naruto had gone to for those days. The council was satisfied that the Kyuubi carrier had nothing to do with the disappearance of the Uchiha and kept quite.

Two days later, Naruto had found the time to escape back to the small cottage, loaded with food and supplies.

This was where Sasuke was staying now for three years; hidden from society, waiting for the chance to come back.

Twenty-one year old Sasuke looked up from his place on a large rock, nearby the cottage when he felt a familiar presence approaching him.

Haruno Sakura came to him with a smile on her face, Naruto following next to her with his large grin.

Sakura had discovered his presence two years ago when she had followed Naruto out of curiosity. Needless to say she had been furious about being kept in the dark about Sasuke's whereabouts. Sasuke still inwardly winced when he thought of the punches he and Naruto had received. There had been not a trace left of her sweet, loveable nature when she had gotten so furious.

Since then, she always came with Naruto to visit him, which was every two days, if they could make it. The council still didn't know where Sasuke was – for all they cared he was dead. As long as they didn't hear anything from him or about him, they were content with deluding themselves in thinking he had finally died somewhere, leaving his body to rot in the woods or the burning sand.

Naruto and he had never spoken about Sasuke's reason to stay put. They had bonded again, were probably better friends than ever, but some things were better left unsaid. That didn't mean of course that Naruto wasn't curious. Sasuke had caught him many times watching him, opening his mouth to say something only to close it again a few seconds later. It both amused and saddened Sasuke. Before his disappearance Naruto had been comfortable enough to tell him everything – well save for the Kyuubi part, but that was quite understandable. That comfortableness had never come back; sure they were best friends and their bond was tighter than ever, but there were still parts of Naruto that Sasuke wasn't able to reach, no matter how hard he tried. Whenever he thought about that, guilt came crashing on him, almost suffocating him to the point where he thought he was better off dead.

Of course the blond man made sure he stayed alive; whether Sasuke wanted that or not.

"Good afternoon, Sasuke," Sakura smiled brightly.

Sasuke stared at her. "Hn," he grunted, wondering why she was so happy today.

"You would think your vocabulary would expand with the years," Naruto grinned, the whisker like marks on his face wrinkling.

"Apparently you managed to expand your vocabulary," Sasuke retorted dryly, smirking when Naruto started to argue.

Just like old times.

However when looking at the two in front of him, he couldn't help but feel like he was being left out from something. In the years of his absence, Naruto had gotten much closer to the pink haired girl and Sasuke couldn't help but feel jealous at the ease with which Naruto treated her. There was never awkwardness between them, no unspoken questions and answers. Sometimes something deep inside Sasuke wished he never had left at all, just so he could have the same bond with Naruto as Sakura had with him.

His sharp eyes caught the movement of Naruto placing his hand on Sakura's back and was that an adoring look in his sparkling, blue eyes? Of course Naruto throwing adoring looks at Sakura was nothing new – he had done that the whole time he had known the girl. But Sasuke had been so sure that Naruto had gotten over his stupid crush … But he had never asked, had he?

He blinked when a small hand entered his vision and waved.

"Sasuke-kun? Are you alright?" Sakura asked with a worried smile.

He pushed her hand away. "I'm fine," he replied annoyed. He tolerated her for Naruto's sake, but that didn't mean he was fine with her interrupting him.

"Eh, we have something to tell you," she smiled nervously, shifting her weight from one leg to the other.

"Who's 'we'?" Sasuke asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Sakura-chan and I, of course, bastard," Naruto chuckled, sitting down underneath the blossoming sakura tree – which was quite ironic considering the girl with the same name was sitting next to him.

"Well, we don't know how to tell you, so I suppose we just say it without all that chitchat," Sakura laughed, her voice trilling and she ranked her hand through her short hair.

An uneasy feeling rose up in Sasuke, but he did his best to ignore it. How bad could that news possibly be?

"You see, Sasuke-teme, Sakura-chan and I … eh, how do I say this?" Naruto chuckled, now sounding nervous too. "We kind of got together a few months ago and well, she's, eh, pregnant."

Sasuke stared at the two, not quite ready to take in the information. Naruto had gotten together with Sakura. They were now a couple. They were expecting a child.

"Congratulations," he said in a monotone voice, his hands clenching underneath his wide sleeves.

They both beamed and Sakura laid her hand on her belly lovingly, informing Sasuke excitedly about the nursery they were setting up and the possible names they could give the child. Naruto didn't say much, contributed when needed, but mostly he sat there, his arms around the girl, the proud grin of a father-to-be never leaving his face.

Sasuke had never felt so sick in his life before. He sat there, letting the conversation wash over him, while asking himself how in the world everything had gotten so messed up. Naruto wasn't supposed to be with Sakura; she didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve his laughter, his sparkling eyes, his adoring look, his full attention… What did she know about him really? Sasuke was willing to bet he knew much more about Naruto even with his years of absence then she would in a whole lifetime. Naruto wasn't supposed to go to her. He was supposed to stay with Sasuke, devote his life to him and give him his full attention. Sasuke didn't care how selfish that sounded.

Naruto had picked him as his rival, picked him as his best friend, had trained hard to get him back. Not for Sakura, not for Neji or Kiba, only for him.

So if that was the case then why had Naruto betrayed him like that? Left him alone to grow old in a god damned forest while Naruto built up a family and got more joy out of life than Sasuke could ever get?

Why did this hurt so much?

Coal black eyes shot open, adrenaline coursing through his veins when the man shot up in bed, shivering and sweating in the aftermath of the nightmare.

Sasuke lifted up a trembling hand and ranked it through his damp hair, grimacing at the feeling of his sweat. He would need a shower.

Slowly his eyes adjusted to the dark and he recognized his room in the cottage where he now lived. The cottage where he now lived with Naruto. Where he now shared his life with the loud blond.

Absently he reached out with his hand to touch the body lying next to him, but froze when he felt nothing but cold air. Slowly his head turned to his left and his jaw clenched when he saw no one lying beside him.

Naruto had gone to sleep next to him last night, right? It had been just a nightmare. No way was it possible that Sakura really was pregnant of Naruto. He wasn't together with her, he couldn't be; he was together with Sasuke. Right? Right?

He jumped out of bed, intent of searching the whole cottage, not wanting to believe that instead of having a nightmare, he had been looking at a memory. It just couldn't be. Naruto had given up on his crush; he had chosen for him, not for her. He had given up the village and his possible title of Hokage for him, to stay with Sasuke and live with him.

He stormed into the small kitchen - barely large enough for two people to stand in - when a voice interrupted his panicked thoughts.

"Bastard, what are you doing here in the kitchen at three fucking in the morning?" The sleepy annoyed, but very welcome voice of Naruto sounded behind him.

He turned around so quickly, he could have gotten a whiplash and stared at the man in the doorway, who was looking at him through half lidded eyes.

Naruto was wearing one of his shirts, that was large enough to reach the middle of his thighs. The ends of a green boxer short could be seen; his feet were bare. He had crossed his arms in front of his chest, though he had difficulties due to his protruding stomach.

It all came back again. Naruto was indeed staying in the cottage with him, had became a couple with him. Sasuke couldn't help but stare at the round belly. Naruto had had a sixpack not too long ago; at least until the Kyuubi had decided that he should screw a bit more with the man and had changed his inner organs to fit a womb so he could produce 'kittens'. It had been a shock when they discovered Naruto had gotten pregnant. It wasn't until Kyuubi had reassured Sasuke that he would keep the baby – and in extension Naruto – safe that he was comfortable with the pregnancy. If it had been dangerous even in the slightest way, Sasuke would have demanded that Naruto got rid of it. His child or not, no heir was worth the loss of Naruto if something happened to him due to the pregnancy.

"Hey, Sasuke?" Naruto sounded wary and he let his arms fall at his sides, wondering what was wrong with the Uchiha this time. It wasn't uncommon for Sasuke to wander around the cottage at night, due to his nightmares, but most of the times, he stayed in the bed with Naruto. That he was up now and looking relieved and depressed at the same time worried Naruto.

Sasuke blinked at hearing his name and sighed. He came up to Naruto, putting his arms around his waist, being careful with not putting too much pressure on his belly and laid his head on his shoulders.

"Promise you won't ever leave me?"

Naruto's head jerked up in shock when he heard the request spoken in a small voice and he stared baffled at the cupboards. He had never heard Sasuke so insecure; what had he been dreaming about? Why would he ask such a thing? What had happened in the short time he had left the room to go to the bathroom?

"Please, Naruto?" Sasuke looked up, his black eyes burning with a desperate fire, his hands clenching Naruto's hips, making the man wince. Sasuke didn't release his tight hold, he kept clinging, not wanting to let go of the man in his arms.

"I promise I won't leave you. You know that," Naruto sighed and tangled his hand in the dark, messy bed hair. He felt his baby kick gently against the hand placed on his stomach. "Now why don't we go back to bed, hm? Gaara is coming to visit us tomorrow."

Sasuke still had a dazed look in his eyes, but he followed Naruto back to their bedroom, letting himself pushed back in the bed. He relished in the familiar warmth that settled against his side when Naruto slid in the bed next to him, his belly pressing against his hip. An arm lay across his chest and he felt lips touching his collarbone for a second before pulling away.

"Are you going to tell me why you were so upset?" Naruto whispered, his blue eyes glittering dark in the darkened room.

Sasuke stared for a long time at the ceiling, thinking back of the day where Naruto had found him again and had returned him back like he had promised to do. Yes, he had promised to return him back, just like he promised to stay with him. Naruto wasn't going to leave him; not now, not ever.

He curled his body around Naruto, as much as he could with the large belly between them. "Just a nightmare, nothing to worry about," he whispered back at last, kissing Naruto's forehead.

Naruto frowned, but didn't press further for which Sasuke was grateful.

It was possible that he didn't deserve Naruto and maybe he should let him go, but he had always been a selfish person. The nightmare he had had, had just made his resolve harder to keep Naruto by his side.

It would be a cold day in hell before he would give up Naruto to anyone – especially to pesky, pink haired women.

He closed his eyes and fell asleep to the calm breathing and the comforting sound of Naruto's beating heart.

He was home.

AN2: Well, what do you think of it? I think it's different from the ones I did before, especially because there is so much angst, but I hope it was good ^^

Oh and sorry if I made you want to kill me for a moment there *grins* My beta wanted to kill me when she reached the middle, so I'm pretty sure you all had the same urge XD

So, please leave a review with your thoughts and be all a dear and go wish pokeyspot a happy birthday ;)

Until my next update, my lovely readers!

Cuddles

Melissa

P.S. For more information about my upcoming and posted stories, please visit my profile!