She knows he's there. She can sense herself being watched, from outside the room. It's stupid that they would put a one-way window in a social services building. It feels more like she's being interrogated than anything. She gets up and walks around the small room, taking a look at all the pictures. Her heart begins to quicken as she hears the hinges of the doors squeak as it opens. Slowly, almost reluctantly, she turns around.

When she heard that he was looking for her, she couldn't believe her ears. It had been almost nineteen years. Why now? She knows she should feel some sort of joy or excitement, but all she can feel is dread and nervousness. Nothing that a mother being reunited with her son should feel at all.

"Mrs. Fallon?" She nods, not trusting herself to speak. The man in the doorway steps aside and guides a young man in. Immediately, she can see the resemblance to Mal. He's got his hair and his nose and his cheekbones. But his smile and his eyes are unmistakably hers. She takes a step in his direction.

"Anthony..." she whispers, then blushes and pulls back. "But you're not called that anymore, are you?" He shakes his head and she feels her heart drop.

"My name is Erik, now," he says quietly. "Is that the name you gave me?" She nods.

They stand in silence for a few minutes. She glances quickly at her son and is saddened at the sight of him. She had known that some day this would happen. She knew he was likely to seek her out and get answers. What child wouldn't? But somehow she had always imagined him as a child, not a young man getting ready to start college. She hadn't expected to know exactly who he was and yet not know him at all.

Erik/Anthony cleared his throat. "I'm sure you know why I'm here." She nods again. "So... why? Why did you give me up?"

"I thought it would be best for you," she murmurs. "I wanted to keep you, but there were certain circumstances that prevented that from being possible."

"What kinds of circumstances?"

Her hands begin to shake.

"And don't worry about hurting my feelings. I want the truth. No lies or cushioning."

She couldn't tell him, and yet he had left no wiggle room in his demands. How could she tell him that he had been the product of her biggest mistake? That she and Mal had regretted what they'd done? How could she tell him that she loved him, but that she just couldn't keep him?

How could she tell him that the bottom line was, he had been unwanted?

"Your father, Mal, and I... He worked for the SFPD and I worked for the FBI. We were partners on a high profile case, and I asked to be transferred to San Francisco permanantly after about a year and a half. It wasn't right, but we slept together in a moment of weakness. I never thought I would get pregnant."

"So it was just the situation?" He looks at her with such pleading eyes that she finds it hard not to tell him the rest.

"Yes. I also didn't want to put you at risk of losing us. Everyday we put our lives on the line, and I didn't want you to have to live knowing that one day your parents might not come back from work."

"But I lost you anyway," he whispers, and she can see the tears welling up in his eyes. "Maybe not in the way you thought, but I still lost you."

She can't make herself want to hug him and comfort him.

"I'm so sorry," she says as she looks at the ground.

"Are there any more?"

"Any more what?"

"Children?"

She shakes her head. "Eventually Mal and I got married, but we never had any more children." He nods and thinks her word over for a moment.

"Did you ever think about me?" He asks in a small voice.

"All the time," she responds.

And she doesn't feel bad for lying.

Just an alternate ending to my story The Unbreakable Bond I thought of. I wondered what would happen if she and Mal gave their son up for adoption and he found them again years later.