Title: Failure

Author: StarQuality

Disclaimer: I didn't own Red Dwarf the last time, I don't own it now.

Summary: He's failed again, but this time, he's especially cheesed off. Will Rimmer take drastic measures to end the pain?

A/N: So... My first Red Dwarf fic. My first slash fic. My first Red Dwarf slash fic. It includes slash and Red Dwarf. Obviously. Sorry. Why am I apologising? Just am. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Well, actually, I wouldn't call it slash. It's slash-y, rather than.. slash. This is pre-Red Dwarf, (IE: Before the series started.. Or, it could be series 8, but that wouldn't make much sense.) so, Rimmer is alive, the crew are alive, there's no Cat or Kryten, but that doesn't matter, as they aren't in it. The definitions at the start are from 'The Collins Dictionary and Thesaurus'. And what is it with me and one-word titles?! I felt weird writing this, as I adore Chris/Rimmer, and I'm not into all of the self-harm stuff, it makes me feel ill.

'Fail. To be unsuccessful in an attempt. To stop operating or working properly. To neglect or be unable to do something. To prove insufficient in quantity or extent. To weaken. To go bankrupt. A failure to attain the required standard. To prove disappointing or useless to someone. To judge, or be judged as being below the officially accepted required in a course, examination etc.'

'Failure. The act or an instance of failing. Nonperformance of something required or expected. Cessation of of normal operation. A decline or loss, as in health. Bankruptcy. An insufficiency. The fact of not reaching the required standard in an examination, test, etc. A person or thing that is unsuccessful or disappointing.'

Rimmer closed the dictionary and then looked at the piece of paper in front of him. He didn't read it, but just saw the word, 'FAIL', in large letters. Once again, Arnold Judas Rimmer had failed his exam. It wasn't the first time, and most probably wouldn't be the last. This time, however, Rimmer KNEW why he had failed. It was because he had other things on his mind, other things that, for once, he thought were more important than passing. But it still depressed him.

He sighed deeply and pushed the letter away from him, burying his head into his hands. Silently, he began to sob. The tears rolled down his face and splattered onto the table, staining the magazine that Lister had left there. The more he thought about the exam, the more he cried. Rimmer didn't often cry, but when he did, it seemed as if all of the depression inside him came out during those few minutes.

"Oh...' He moaned softly. Opening his eyes, Rimmer dried his eyes, and realised that his bunkmates magazine was getting wet. "Oh..." He said again, moving it so that it wouldn't get damaged. "Oh... I'm a failure..." The tears came on again, and they time, he let rip, walking around the room, finally coming to a stop in front of the mirror above the sink. "You're a failure, Rimmer, a BLOODY FAILURE!"

That's when he noticed the gleaming razorblades sitting by the shampoo. They were his, he knew how sharp they were. Definitely sharp enough to cut through skin, he had cut his face enough times with them. Rimmer picked up the packet and looked at it, then down at his wrists. Was he strong enough, did he really want to face all of the pain? "Come on, you've faced enough pain in your life. One simple slash." But was it really worth it? "One slash and it's over, Arnold. One slash."

Would anybody miss him? Sure, he had no-one he thought would call him a 'friend', but would the crew still miss him? Would Lister miss him? Probably not. Rimmer knew what he'd say. 'Oh no, that's terrible, poor Rimmer... Do I get his bunk?' Smegging Lister... In fact.. That's how everyone would react. Everyone. His parents would be more worried about the cost of the funeral. His brothers wouldn't care. They were never around, and when they were, they teased him. Even as a grown man, all he got from them was hell. It would end all of that, all of the constant pain would be over.

Lister. "Oh Lister...". That smeggy third technician would be the only thing he would miss from his life. The thought of him nearly stopped Rimmer from picking up the blades. But he knew he didn't have a hope on Io of anything happening there, so he reached over and picked them up, watching the door in case anyone came in, looking for him. Not that anyone ever did, they always came for Lister, and he was down at the bar. Everyone knew where he was. Everyone always knew where he was.

The blade glimmered as the suicidal second technician brought it out of the packaging. He looked at it for a few seconds, before taking a deep breath, tears brimming in his eyes again, his last thoughts being of Lister.

"One... slash...."

Rimmer fell to the floor.

To be continued.

Nice image, huh? Poor Rimsy. I love Rimmer. Won't be depressing in the next chapter, which I will start now, whilst listening to my Scissor Sisters album. I'm not the only one who finds the singer, Jake Shears (Real name Jason Sellards) totally gorgeous? I can't be. There must be more.