This is something that I typed out, and this is only a fraction of what happened a few days ago. Some of you may understand, but truly, I just posted this because I need to find a way to vent. I am doing more physical activity, and I'm eating alot less. (So much that I lost 7 pounds in 4 days. Yeah. That's how depressed I am.) So this is just a way to make me feel less...well...shitty.
Just read it. It has no real "flame" like how I usually write, this is just a run-of-the-mill type that needed to come out.
DISCLAIMER; I don't own Twilight. If I did, then I would take all the money and help support my family and make my bastard father's life a living hell.
We have been called down to Esme's living-room for reasons I do not know. Apparently it was bad enough that Edward was actually sobbing. I don't mean little sobs. I mean big, body-racking sobs. The sense of anxiety, rage, and betrayal was in the air. I felt unease shift inside my body as I stepped into the room, my heart thumping violently against my ribs.
I looked at Isabella and felt overwhelming concern shift in my gut as she was looking back and forth, almost as if she were expecting an enemy. Jasper was immediately at Edward's side, holding his lover, his expression was confused, worried, furious, and caring all at the same time. Rosalie and Emmett were standing a few feet away from Edward, concern on their beautiful faces. They were upset by Edward's sobs because, no matter how bad the situation was with the family, they have never seen Edward sob. (Well, that's what I heard from my lover, Isabella.)
Esme was sitting down in her chair, the one that was across my Carlisle's chair. I felt confusion. Usually Carlisle was the one to break the bad news. I turned back to face Isabella as we stood next to Tanya, who was glaring furiously at the floor, her fists clenched dangerously tight at her sides.
"Hello children.."Esme said softly, I turned towards her, feeling my worry hit me like a million pounds. She didn't sound like her loving self. She sounded sad. Broken.
Where was Carlisle?
"I know you're all probably wondering what had happened." She said, looking up at us all for the first time today, and I felt my heart nearly stop. Her eyes were not her "Esme-eyes." No. They were sad. Betrayed. Empty.
Isabella went stiff, her eyes angry. She didn't know what had happened, obviously, but she was furious at Esme's expression, and was obviously wanted to seriously harm the person who caused such pain for Esme. Rosalie snarled, looking around, her eyes piercing everyone in the livingroom.
"Where's Carlisle?" I asked, and instantly, I wished I didn't. Edward's sobs became hiccups and he looked up at me. His eyes were drained of all colour, and all that was left was inky black.
"Esme? Where is he?"
"That's what I called you all here for." She said, looking away from us and looked down at her hands. "I don't...know how to break this to you." She admitted, her tone ashamed. I looked at Tanya, who was looking at Esme with sympathy and walked over to her side, and put a reassuring hand on Esme's shoulder.
"Well...Alice, to answer your question...Carlisle..." She took a deep breath, and it hit me. I felt my breath hitch, my eyes went wide. There was no way.
'Please...let this be a cruel joke! Please!' I thought, looking at Edward, who only flinched at my thought and shook his head 'no'.
"Carlisle is having an affair." She said, and just like that, it looked as if she deflated of all life.
Rosalie was frozen stiff, her golden hair moving as she shook her head, almost as if she never wanted to hear it. I heard a loud thump and I looked at Emmett, who was sitting on the floor, his golden eyes wide, disbelieving, and betrayed.
"No.." Rosalie whispered, her perfect voice had a crack inside of it, and I felt my eyes burn, looking at her sadness.
"It's true..He said...that he felt..."Alive" for once in the past few years.." Esme said, her tone was empty and sad. I felt as if I was being hit by a hammer. Sadness, rage, fury, betrayal, abandonment, emptiness all fell on my shoulders. Jasper's face flickered in my eyes, but I ignored it all. I was concerned for Isabella.
I turned to see her face, so perfectly set in a neutral expression, but her eyes were a dead-give-away. Her eyes were so sad, downcast-her eyelashes casting shadows on her high cheekbones.
"But...why? He had a perfect family..." I whispered, knowing fully well that they could all hear me. Tears streaked down my face, and I ignored it all, knowing that I was the only one who could actually cry. These beautiful vampires around me-no matter how great their sadness-could not tear.
Esme sucked in a breath, almost as if she were choking on the sadness in the air.
"I don't..." She sighed loudly, slumping in her chair, covering her eyes with her hand, her body shaking with soft sobs.
She looked up at all of us, she tried to look composed, but there was no composition there. She was the most broken, the most wounded, the most hurt out of all of us.
"I just don't know.."
Just review.