My Beloved,
I used to think nothing could ever break us- nothing could pull apart the threads that stitch your soul to mine, in scarlet letters spelling 'smile'.
The smiles are lost though, both yours and mine. And in their place all that I find are lies, sharp lies. For every one you cut me with I cut you back a thousand times. And still I feel it's not enough for what you've made me do. How could you?
How could you look me in the eye and speak of love surviving trials, of how much you have sacrificed to build for us a better life? What life for us ... there is no us, just you and me.
And soon there won't be even me, just you alone to face the world for I cannot, I simply won't.
I feel his ghost inside of me, a flutter just of agony that turns to rage each time I see that you don't feel. Under the gaze of haunting eyes your accusation in disguise is taunting me . Please tell me my beloved what could I have given but have not to thee.
And if you're reading this please know I need no answers anymore for I am gone. I need no lies to justify why you flirt back and give them smiles you won't give me. You need avert your eyes no more when I come walking through the door or talk in whispers on the phone- you're finally free. Of me, of us, of what could be...
Please think of me each time you see sunshine above.
Your Love