I was, once again, feeling angst while writing this. I am trying to write faster and get my stories to a beta reader but its hard. So, here is an angst one shot, not a songfic but angst. I hope you can find interest, maybe not like it, but find interest in it.

I do not own Naruto.

No. It couldn't be, why was this happening.

The test said otherwise. Why was THIS happening. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Kushina Uzumaki's life had had a lot of crap. Crap is a kind way to describe it. First things first, she was born in the middle of the third ninja war.

War defined her life. Iwa was closing in day after day. So many had died because of the endless cycle of revenge. Her parents weren't one of the lucky ones to survive. As soldiers, they follow orders. TO strap bombs to themselves if they were caught.

Explosions were horrible. Massive areas of land were destroyed with each one. Villages were destroyed, lives were ruined. Some people last memories of sight are of the war that ended the lives of loved ones. The enormous masses of chakra clashing behind walls were sickening and fearsome. Children died with tear-stain cheeks as their final moments were only used to watch the death of those before them. Those who made it were either psychopaths, those who would never live the same way, and those who had no idea of what was happening outside the walls of their sheltered homes. No one lives the same after war. Not if you are the battlefield

Uzu no kuni was small, weak country that was mostly water. It was in the middle of the elemental nations though. Anything between nations some how managed to get to Uzu no kuni. Not a single ninja war manage to avoid Uzu no kuni as a shinobi battlefield.

Something about the Uzumaki clan was that it was always a female that would be chosen to carry the Kyubi that would stay in Konoha. They sent a child no more then ten years old at the most to be become the next host. It wasn't understood. All that was known was that a girl was normally chosen and sent away from her family to become the wife of a fire shadow and remain loyal to a village they were never to be accepted in.

Kushina was an orphan. There was no family to be left in Uzugakure. They chose her when she would not understand what they were condemning her.

That was the second crap of her life. She became the Kyubi jinchurriki. Kyubi isn't shukaku, the ichibi, who nimbles and claws at the conciousness of its host. Kyubi, is a how different thing. THING. It whispers all was in the back of her mind. Always there to sneer and laugh. Its snickers at every failer and growls in neither joy or pride at a victory. It has had previous host, all of which have been a red headed girl. Kyubi was the mass of hatred that turned your soul into a black hole of nothingness.

The worst part of being its host is its markings. It always leaves its mark. Sometimes a kanji curse, two blood red eyed, a pair of whiskers marred on the cheeks for example. She had a the kanji characters of 'demon spawn' etched in blood on her back. Every battle scar across her back would disapear in a matter of seconds, just as a reminder of what she was and what she couldn't be.

The third crap for her was that she was a girl. Since she was a girl, that meant kids. She had no problem with kids. She loved 'em. Kushina may not be the best role model due to her choice of language but she loved kids.

But if she had a child, that means the kyubi would have a chance to get out. Kyubi could do anything with her child. It could take over the body, never letting it have a chance to live.

Only now had she been OK with her own life! Minato was the Yondaime Hokage, She had friends that she trusted her life with in Konoha. She didn't feel lonely any more. She wasn't scared. But this. This made her tremble. Kyubi was chanting with joy. It would have its own body, it would roam this earth again.

Kushina walked out of the bathroom and hung her head. She couldn't enjoy this. She would never be happy again. Minato sat at the kitchen table a turned to her. He was eating breakfast. Slowly she sat at the table.

"Good Morning Kushina! You look pale, is something wrong?" Minato asked, absolutely clueless.

Kushina raised her head. Her eyes teared up and she began to cry. Minato pulled her into a hug, asking what was wrong.

Kushina Uzumaki was pregnant

In 9 months, she would die

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