General Grievous was driving his spaceship over Endor with Hatebeak blasting over the radio. He reminisced about the time he scored a perfect ten on the Kessel Run with his slugthrower rifle. He defeated every other contestant, even the Jedi who love nothing more than using ranged weapons with elite precision. His communicator gave him an alert that a message was incoming. He answered.
"It is I, General Grievous. What is it?"
"Hello Grievous. It is your loving wife. What is your plan for today?"
"I sense through the force that you want to have me home for dinner. Is this the case?"
"Yes it is Grievous. Come home for dinner."
"Ok. I will" he said and he hung up. "Fuck!" he said to himself. "I promised Palpatine I would have dinner with him tonight on board the Leviathan. Ohhhhh I cannot choose!"
General Grievous' wife Ronderu Lij Kummar was pacing up and down, frustrated. "Oh where oh where is my steel-toed stud?" she exclaimed. He had not returned her last calls. She was starting to wonder if he had crashed in a shuttle somewhere. That would be most unfortunate. Then all of his parts would melt and he could never be her steel-toed stud again. Oh the thought was so terrible. She did all that she could to push it from her head. It was just like that time she woke up from a nightmare; a nightmare that she could remember like it happened yesterday. It was a most frightful nightmare. She was flying with Grievous in a starfighter through an asteroid field. It was so romantic and dangerous. Both of them were clinging together in love and passion like two droids in the desert. Then suddenly the engines stopped working and they crashed hard into an asteroid which was not very much fun at all. But these current thoughts were of Grievous melted in a molten mass of metal. She was to be all alone. Then she got a phone call.
"Hello. Ronderu Lij Kummar here?"
"Hello it is Count Dooku. I would like to speak with the General. Is he in?"
"Grievous? No I don't know where he is. He was supposed to be home 10 minutes ago."
"Why would I, Count Dooku, want to speak with that sack of bolts and fat? I meant General Yoda."
"Why would I have the ability to hook you up with General Yoda?"
Count Dooku sighed. "You are his secretary."
Just then Ronderu Lij Kummar realized that she was at work and Grievous was probably at home waiting for her.