This is my own work and has not been beta'd so all mistakes are mine. Unfortunately I cannot say the same for Teen Wolf. Pity.
Despite being the alpha Derek often found himself clueless and dumbfounded by the rest of his pack. Now was no exception. He had decided to treat himself to an afternoon nap after lunch. He had been the only member of the pack to do so which wasn't strange. Derek was under a lot of pressure, and dealing with a pack full of teenagers wasn't easy.
The rest of his pack was milling about the front of the house acting like morons when he got up. 'What the hell is going on?' He snapped. Everything stopped and four sets of eyes looked at him. It was moments like this he was glad he was the alpha and his pack were forced to obey him.
'We're preparing.' Danny said with a frown on his face as if it should have been obvious.
'Preparing? What for?' Derek asked impatiently. Scott was busy taping a bread knife to a shot gun. Jackson was doing the same thing only he had a flashlight taped to the steel barrel of the gun too.
'The Zombie Apocalypse.' Stiles said as if it were the most normal thing in the world. 'I don't think that's going to work Jackson.'
'You're right. It's too bulky.' Jackson replied.
Derek was sure he was dreaming, Jackson was agreeing with Stiles, there were guns and lacrosse padding lying all around the front porch, but no matter how hard he concentrated he wouldn't wake up.
'Hey babe what about this?' Danny asked reaching for what looked like an assault rifle with a bayonet already fixed and showing it to Jackson.
'Blades too smooth. You want it to cause maximum damage so you can cut their brains out.' Jackson said running his finger along the blade.
'It's the brain you need to go for.' Stiles nodded smartly. 'Hey Scott how's the bidding going for that armoured truck on eBay?'
'Good. Derek's still the highest bidder.'
'I'm what?'
'Well none of us have a credit card. You do.' Stiles said.
'And how the hell did you get my credit card Stilinski?' Derek snarled.
'And I quote from 7:23 this morning… "Yes Stiles take anything you want just fucking suck my cock" end quote.' Stiles said smirking. Derek snarled, that manipulative little son of a bitch.
'Dude it's all good.' Scott said opening a box of shotgun shells and tucking them into a pocket on his backpack.
'How do you figure that?' Derek asked. He had never been so confused in all his life.
'When the zombies attack we'll be ready for them. They won't get us with their dodgy bitey venom.' Scott said. Jackson grunted in agreement. Derek noticed Danny and Stiles sharing a look.
'You two fucking idiots do know that a zombie bite to a werewolf won't do more than hurt a little before you twist their head off their shoulders and use it as a basketball.' Derek said shaking his head.
'Really?' Scott asked. 'So we're doing all this for nothing?' He said turning to glare at Stiles.
'And what if I get bit?' Stiles asked with a frown.
'Good fucking riddance.' Derek muttered walking back into the house. He couldn't keep the smirk off his face when he heard Jackson and Scott start to argue with the omegas about manipulating them into doing a load of work for nothing before he realised how silly the thought of the Zombie Apocalypse really was. He was a grown man for god's sake, not a teenager like the boys outside.
That didn't stop him from taking delivery of an armoured truck a week later. It was an alpha's responsibility after all to ensure that his whole pack was safe.