Rey sits with the broken light saber in her lap, dejected, exhausted, shoulders slumped. Leia is beside her, regarding her with what can only be described as a maternal look on her face.
They've fled Crait.
Little more than 47 rebels left, on a single ship. They've fled. Barely escaped with their lives. Leia is overcome with love and gratitude to Luke – who, despite his absence these long years has given the Rebellion the chance to survive another day.
The two women sit together, gazing out into nowhere really… alone with their thoughts in this most desperate aftermath.
Rey closes her eyes and sees Ben's face – just before she shut the docking ramp to the Falcon. She sighs. On board his father's ship no less…
Rey thinks, "He'll just keep coming. He'll keep coming and coming… and now we just keep running. It's started all over again – nothing's changed." She stands up and excuses herself from Leia – feeling tears prick behind her eyes and a lump swelling in her throat, she knows she needs to find a quiet place to release the sheer despair that has enveloped her.
Passing quickly through the falcon, she decides the best place is the smugglers hideaway – only her & Chewie really know about it. She can hide there until she collects herself.
A few turns through packed gangways… and she's alone at the access panel – 2 clicks and she's in. Alone, the tears spill with a will of their own. Sobs rack her body and she does nothing to hold them back.
"Oh Ben. Oh Ben. You are lost… truly lost" she thinks. Was she wrong to think he has good in him? She feels stupid. Naïve. Like a foolish girl. She cries, sitting with her head resting on her upright knees, tucked away in the corner of the Millenium Falcon she cries. She cries for Han. She cries for Luke. She cries for everyone killed today, faceless men & women she saw on the salt fields of Crait – strewn in the trenches and in the wrecks of the speeders. No funeral, no pyre… just her despair.
She cries for herself. Every time she felt a tiny spark of belonging… it was destroyed. Han. Luke. Ben.
Oh Ben. She thinks about the look on his face just a few short moments ago. His eyes. Those beautiful dark eyes, so full of need and longing. Is he truly the monster now? Will he hunt her down to the ends of the galaxy? Does he only seek now to destroy her?
She sniffles and sighs and then realizes something. Maybe something important.
If she saw Ben at the door through their bond – it means that Snoke wasn't controlling it. It means the Force bond is theirs, and theirs alone. Does that mean the Force wants them to still see and feel each other?
The ship shudders and it breaks her reverie. She comes back to herself. They are fleeing for their lives. The First Order must be right behind them somehow. Chewie is in the cockpit and he needs her to co-pilot. She may be sad, but she is also strong. Stronger than anyone knows.
She shakes the despair off like cloak – steels her resolve – and gathers her strength.
"I will not lose hope. There will always be another way." She thinks and heads to the cockpit.
The docking bay door closes with a sharp clang. The look on her face… Ben sees her. She's disheartened. She's dejected. She's furious.
He knows. Through the bond, her feelings hit him like waves one after the other. Punctuated with her voice in his head:
How could you
Murderer
Oh Luke
There is no hope for you
After the bond closes, he stays on one knee… feeling her fade. The echo of her last thought reverberating in his head.
There is no hope for you
No. He supposes there is not. As the sheer madness of his battle with Luke leeches out of his system, he's left with horror and regret. And paradoxically, horrified that he feels horror and regret. He's a storm of conflicting emotions – never at peace, swirling, confusing, torturing him.
There is no peace, only passion.
He repeats the Sith mantra and it empties him. It brings no solace. He feels like a shell. An empty shell. He aches.
He hears his platoon's movements behind him – collecting what intel they can from the mine and its previous occupants. If he stays here kneeling much longer, he'll look a fool. That would be twice in one day to be proven a fool in front of his army.
He stands and collects his force around him. He taps into his fury about being made a fool and pools the darkness around him. He is no empty shell. He is the most powerful force sensitive in the galaxy. He does not ache. He breathes in again, deeply, tapping into the force. He calls the dark and it answers him, a sense of empowerment fills his body once more. He is strong.
"There. Yes. That feels better" he thinks and he takes a breath and immediately heads to his shuttle.
"Hux," he commands over the comm, "prepare the Finalizer for my arrival. We shall meet in the war room to find the last rebels and destroy them for good."
"Yes Supreme Leader." Hux replies.
He'll find her. He'll find her and put an end to this struggle once and for all. After all, there is no peace, only passion.