Lost in the Zao Desert
Our poor heroes are lost in the Zao Desert!!! They've run out of water, and their food is getting low as well. Worse yet, there's a sandstorm brewing, and some of the group are out looking for water and food. They have a hard decision ahead of them--who's going to get eaten first?!
Mieu: Master, I'm huuuuungry.....
Luke: (weakly) Sh-shut up.... *cough, cough*
Tear: Luke! Are you okay?!
Luke: *coughing, hacking* Sand....in....my....throat!!!....
Tear: Jade!! Do something!!!
Jade: (calmly) Me? Whatever for?
Tear: You're a doctor, aren't you?! Luke's choking!!! He might die!!!
Natalia: (from where she's sulking in the corner) Oh, put a sock in it!!!
Mieu: A sock in what?
Jade: I believe you have me confused with a medical doctor. I am a scientist.
Tear: I don't care what the flip you are!!!! HELP HIM!!!!
Jade: Oh my.
Natalia: You guys are such losers!!
Mieu: Um.... I think Master is dead....
Tear: *crying* No!!! Luke, don't leave me!!! *slams her fists on his chest*
Luke: X_X
Guy: (coming back to the camp after searching in the desert for food) Hey, guys...*notices Luke* Oh my God!!! Is he breathing?!?!
Jade: Hmm... I don't believe he is... oh, dear...
Tear: Luke, you bastard!!!! I'm coming after you!!! *pulls out one of her daggers*
Natalia: *shrieks* Look out!!!! She's got a knife!!!!
Guy: Has anyone seen Anise?
Muffled Voice: Psst! Over here!
Guy: *looking towards a giant mound of sand* Anise?
Anise: *head poking out of the sand* Shh... I'm hiding.
Guy: Why?
Anise: Natalia tried to eat me.
Guy: *shocked* She WHAT?!
Anise: Are you deaf? She tried to eat me!
Mieu: Hey look Theres the lost city of Atlantis over there! *pointing off into the distance*
Anise: No that's dancing teddy bears!!
Tear: Luke is dying people! Do you not care!?
Natalia: ASCH!!! *starts running away waving her arms wildly*
Jade: *singing* Another one bites the dust.
Tear: Jade! This is no time to be joking! Surely you would know SOMETHING to do to help Luke!
Jade: *shrugs* I'm not the seventh fonist with healing powers
Tear: OH! I have resurrection!
Anise: Tear! Don't resurrect him! We could harvest his organs and sell them on the black market!
Jade: *singing* What I bought on eeebay
Guy: Anise! That's not a good thing to do to our fellow comrade.
Anise: So?
Guy: Let's eat him.
Jade: *singing* Let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the floor.
Guy: Good idea Jade.
Jade: *shrugs* I was not suggesting anything. I was merely singing.
Mieu: We can't do that to Master!
Jade: Did you not just say that you were hungry, Mieu?
Mieu: *thinking about it* Tear! Use your knife!
Tear: *leans over Luke, holding her knife*
Guy: So what are you going to do, Tear?
Tear: Harvest his organs to sell on ebay.
Luke: *wakes up* SWEET MARY MOTHER OF JESUS!!!
Guy: Oh look, he's awake!
Jade: *singing* We're awakening!
Anise: Colonel, really?
Luke: I don't think I've ever heard Jade sing before... the heat must really be getting to him
Jade: *singing* Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Guy: ...
Luke: ...
Mieu: Dontcha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Jade and Mieu: DONTCHA!?
Guy and Luke: ...scary
Tear: *curled up in a fetal position rocking back and forth* Harvest organs, kill Luke. Harvest organs, get money. Go to Disneyland. And see King Mickey.
Luke: What's wrong with Tear?
Guy: She's in her own little kingdom now. Kingdom Hearts
Tear: *pulls out her staff* The Keyblade has chosen mee!!
Anise: She's gone.
Jade: *singing* Now you're gone, I realize my love for you was strong and I miss you here now you're gone
Luke: Jade? Missing someone? I don't believe it!
Mieu: Has anybody seen Natalia?
Anise: Good riddance.
Tear: Hey look! It's the gummi ship! *points to the sky*
Luke: What is she blabbering about now? *looks up*
Guy: I don't believe it! It's the Albiore!
Tear: Sora! Down here!
Luke: Who is she talking about?
Anise: Who cares? We're saved!!
Jade: *singing* Whatcha got, whatcha want, whatcha need, gonna be your savior!
Mieu: Yaaaaaaay! We're saved!
Noelle: I've been looking all over for you guys!
They all got on the Albiore and flew away, all but one...
Noelle: Hey, where's Natalia?
Everyone: !!!!!
Tear: She must be back at Twilight Town!!! Donald, hard to starboard!!!!
Noelle: Who? What?
Luke: She's been going on like that for a while...
Guy: Where could Natalia have gone? Did you see her on your way here, Noelle?
Noelle: No, but I did see an odd-looking hole....
Anise: Who cares? She'll show up eventually.
Mieu: Like a bad penny!!!
Anise: Right, so don't get your panties in a twist.
Jade: *starts to sing* Don't--
Everyone: SHUT UP, JADE!!!
And so our heroes escaped danger once again, though their number was one less. Where will their adventures lead them next? Will they ever find Natalia? Will Tear ever save Kingdom Hearts? Tune in next time!!!!
**Yes, we do have Kingdom Hearts references. Since there are no actual characters being used, we did not count it as a crossover.
**In the skit we made Jade sing songs. We don't know why, but we just thought it was funny :) So, I'll say the songs we used part of just in case yall were wondering.
"Another One Bites the Dust" …. well. "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen.
"What I bought on Ebay" …. "Ebay" by Weird Al.
"Let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the floor." …. "Bodies" by Drowning Pool.
"We're Awakening!" …. "Awakening" by Skillet
"Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?" "Dontchaaa!?" …. "Dontcha" by Spice Girls
"Now you're gone, I realize my love for you was strong and I miss you here now you're gone" …. "Now You're Gone" by Basshunter
"Whatcha got, whatcha want, whatcha need, gonna be your savior!" …. "Savior" by Skillet