Title: Please Don't

Summary: Based on the K Will song, Please Don't. Pewdie and Ken have been dating for years and decide to marry, shocking Cry, Pewdie's best friend and man. SLASH PewdieKen, PewdieCry twoshot

We sit next to each other in the car but there is no music
I always held your left hand but now you're picking at your lips

나란히 앉은 자동차 속에선
음악도 흐르지 않아
늘 잡고 있던 니 왼손으로 너
입술만 뜯고 있어

I smell his warm familiar scent. It always smelled like home, something that I could look forward to. My heart would race and my cheeks would turn a dark hue of red, whenever his prescence was near. I would intoxicate myself in the warm, cheery, comforting atmosphere that he always gave, as he laughed and light heartingly joke with me. He was so great like that, turning any frowns on a miserable, gloomy day to a bright, warm grin. I envy that "skill" of his. I never was able to do that. Sure, I made jokes and I would laugh and smile like anyone else would, but like anyone else, it was all a mask to hide behind in social norms. Except him. Except Felix. God, I wish I could breathe in his scent one more time. When it smelled so lovely and so comforting to me.

Cause now, all I want to do was puke out my insides from it.

I blink, my hand clutching onto the wheel and my feet pressed a little too harshly against the gas pedal. I slow down my speed, a sigh escaping my lips as I press gently down on the brakes. God, I could still smell him. I cover my mouth with my free hand, the one that wasn't busy trying to maintain the wheel, my face turning a ghastly pale. This isn't fair. This isn't fair. Why won't he leave my mind? Why can I still smell that comforting aroma of his? Because all it does is make me want to yack.

I turn toward my right, my eyes gazing toward the passenger seat. My eyes widen slightly, questioning if I should possibly take my hands off the wheel just for a mere second. I slowly lift my hand that was covering my mouth and toward his cheek, gently grazing my fingers against his warm, slightly red cheek. His eyes soften toward mine, before a flash of betrayal and guilt appears in his aquatic blue eyes and he direct his eyes toward the window, ignoring my long gazing stare at him.

"Are you real?" I ask, the mumbles just audible enough for the both of us to hear. He doesn't reply, resting his head against his palm and smiling goofily as if the sights out the window were far more interesting than the fact that he was sitting next to me. That he was here, right by me. "Felix.." I feel a pit in my stomach, as his name rolls off my tongue. "Why are you here? Just answer me."

Felix shake his head and his eyes downcast toward his thighs, rubbing his one hand against his knee, as if he didn't need anyone to comfort him. Just himself. I sigh and return my eyes toward the empty road, no cars in sight. I could tell the words were at the tip of his tongue, they were. But I ignore him, pretending he wasn't there. Because he wasn't. Felix wasn't here. He's with his fiance, the man that took away Felix from me. No, I let Felix go unattended. I let him wander off and find him. Ken.

I know what you're going to say, please don't say it
Don't know why, don't know why
I want to draw out each minute, each second
But the empty road rushes me on

가 할 말 알아 그 말만은 말아
Don't know why don't know why
일분 일초 더 끌고 싶은데
텅 빈 길 나를 재촉해

"I'm happy you know." I direct my eyes back toward Felix, his eyes furrowed in deep concentration. A small, nervous smile was curved at his thin, pink lips. I lick my lips nervously and reply back hastily, "Well I'm glad. I'm really..really.." I grip my one hand on the wheels harder, my fingers clenching so tightly that you could see the blue veins trailing across them. "I'm so happy that you're happy Felix. I..I really am."

I force the corners of my lips upward, as a frown curves on Felix's. "Really." I insisted, nodding slightly.

"Ken, I really love him. A lot in fact. He's been a great guy to me. Treats me the way I want to be treated. That's all I asked for. And I try my best to make him happy. That way, we're both happy. And we are. But-" Felix leans closer, his hot breath on my nose and lips, and I could feel my breath shorten. "You. You're always there by my side too. Remember September? The day we held hands, your right hand was holding onto my left. I thought we would be happy. I thought we would be something more. But then, you disappeared. Like you always do." Felix tipped my chin upward with his index, and narrowed his eyes, throwing daggers at me with such intense confusion and hatred blended in his aquatic blue eyes. " I don't understand what the fuck you're doing Cry."

I feel a shiver run down my spine as I absorb in his last sentence. I peel his finger off from my chin hesitantly and focus myself back on the road. What am I doing with myself? I did this all by myself. I was the one who let him run away. I was suppose to be the smart one, the one who was smart with resources and could solve any puzzle in his path. But here I am, talking to the last person I want to see today. Or anything soon really.

God, I think I might actually puke out my insides.

After going round and round, I arrive at your house
It's so familiar and tears fall
After spending a long day finding this place
I feel like I am lost

빙 돌아온 너의 집 앞이 나
익숙해 눈물이 나와
하루가 멀게 찾아온 여기서
길을 내가 잃은 것 같아

FLASHBACK

I fumble with my buttons, the plastic feeling loose and sweaty between my fingers. I manage to slip in all the buttons through the holes and stare directly toward a small picture frame, perched on my dresser proudly. It was a group photo of me, Felix, and Ken, grinning and laughing our asses off with a bottle of beer each in our hands. That was back then, when we were all just friends. It was a nice, simple life and I miss going out and actually having fun with friends for a chance, unlike parties and conventions I was forced to attend unwillingly. They're very similar type of events which involves joking, laughing, and grinning till the corner of your mouth wanted to bleed. Except one was real and the other was all forced. And personally, I prefer laughing at a joke just because it was funny, not because it's socially accepted to.

I slip into a loose pair of sweatpants that dragged behind me, as if I was wearing a long skirt, instead of pants. I adjust my frames and glance toward the mirror that hangs above my dresser. I smile slightly, ignoring the usual self conscience thoughts that would run through my head when I look at a mirror, and stepped down the steps, my bare feet making a small squeak with each step.

-Mmm. Good morning.

It was Felix's voice. It was easy to recognize his voice with his heavy Swedish accent that was freaking adorable. Like whenever he said chair or ninja, he would say shair and ninya instead. I giggle softly to myself, placing my hand over my mouth to muffle out the laughter. I was ready to greet him, to give him my normal rant about the empty carton of milk in the fridge like I always did just to mess with him, just like any morning.

-Good morning babe.

I hear a spurt of giggles and I peer down the stairs to take a better glance at Felix. I feel my fingers clench against the stairwell, heat rushing toward my face and my upper lip biting on my lower. How do I describe the scene..

Ken's arms were wrapped around Felix's waist, his face nuzzled against his neck and a small purr escaping his lips, as he bit gently and playfully against the Swedish's ear, which were now flushed a bright red. They giggled softly, a dreamy look on each of their faces, as they absorbed in every moment, sinking in the warmth of the two lovers.

I gasp slightly as Ken's face leans toward Felix's and his lips gently meet against his, igniting a small moan from Felix, who returned it passionately. I feel my face turn a ghastly white colour, my stomach gurgling and my fingers becoming clammy. I didn't want to see this. I should leave. Before I breakdown. Before they notice.

But I don't.

I continue to watch, blinking back the tears waiting to fall down my cheeks and never to be wiped away from that hand who was busy playfully pulling at his dark brown locks. Why was I still here? Why was I still watching them be together, loving every moment together as they kiss and murmur each others name with a smile on each of their faces? I know I hate this. Everyone knows. My friends, Russ, Red, Snake, Scott, Raven, Spoon, just everyone knew, except them. The perfect couple with the most perfect man and the one who fit him best. The most perfect man that was suppose to be mine. Mine.

And the rain begins to crash and fall from my eyes.

And I drown in this lost world which will never be mine.