Here we are. Sitting on Carly's couch. There's me, closest to the door, then Carly in the middle, and finally the dork is nearest the kitchen. Lucky. I want to be nearest the kitchen. Or at least closer than I am. Food. I. Want. Food. I wish Carly would get up and get me something. But, no. She's busy. With homework. We each have a Science textbook on our laps. I don't really care about Science, or any other school subject. No one in my family has been to college and I highly doubt I'll be the first one. It's like genes or something. Speaking of genes, I need some new jeans. My mom never buys me any and I think I have a hole in the ones I'm wearing. And I'm pretty positive it's in an embarrassing place. Somewhere around the butt area. I dunno, I just have this weird feeling, but I'm too lazy to try and check. I probably couldn't even see it. The rest of my body's in the way.
"I can't see myself loving anyone but you," a man on the television says, trying to sound all weird and romantic, and his voice makes me want to gag. It's the deep voice that guys do when they want to sound cool or something. What is it with guys? Why are they all... guyish? It's annoying! I throw my pencil at the television, the eraser hits the dude's nose. I smirk. Ha, that's what you get, weirdo.
"Sam!" Carly says. Oh no. Not another speech. This time I'm going to be told that I shouldn't throw pencils at televisions. Three. Two. One.
"It's really rude to throw pencils at televisions. Especially televisions that aren't yours."
Ah, see. I know my best friend oh so well. And then an idea pops into my head. "Fine, I won't." I say and grab Carly's pencil. I barely have it in my hand for two seconds before I throw it and the pink eraser bonks Freddie on the nose. I smile triumphantly.
"Sam!" Carly exclaimed. Oh, will she never learn?
I hold my finger up and act all serious. "He's not a television," I say and point my finger at Freddie, "he's a geek."
Freddie glares at me. How I love it when he does that. It only makes me want to torment him more. Which is obviously very fun for me. Not so much for him, which makes it even more enjoyable for me. So, you see, it's all really about me. Like that show 'Everybody Loves Roymund'. But, seriously, what kind of name is Roymund? British, I bet. 'Ello Roymund. Would you like a spot of tea, Roymund? Roymund, old chap, how are you? Oh yes, now that's an attractive name.
"Why don't you just shut up?" Freddie growled.
Ah, how I love the opening for a good comeback. "Why don't you just shoot me with your geek ray? What is it, a computer mouse?"
"That's it!" Freddie stood up, forcing the textbook in his lap to fall to the ground. Actually, it fell on his feet. I watch Freddie wince. "I've had enough!" He said. He quickly bent down and grabbed the book, after that he stormed out of Carly's apartment, slamming the door. A few seconds later I hear the slam of his door. Ah, he's fuming. This is what I live for.
"Finally," I mutter under my breath. I lean forward and grab the remote. I click the up button a few times before settling on some weird game show.
Carly sighs. "Come on, we've got to go see if he's alright." She says, her shoulders falling lazily down. She gets up and walks to the end of the couch, stops, and turns around.
I stare at the television. "You go," I tell her as the oddball game show starts pulling me in.
"You're the one that insulted him!" Carly yelled, throwing her hands up in the air, I can see her from the very corner of my eye. She needs some new shoes. Those suckers are eye-catching. Not in a good way. Sorry Carly.
I pull my legs up onto the couch, enjoying the couch all to myself now. "I insult him, that's what I do," I retort, not really caring about the conversation. Game shows are way more interesting. At least, this one is. "Oh, ouch!" I yell, grinning as I watch the now pretty gruesome show.
"Well, he obviously doesn't enjoy it as much as you do." Carly argues. She crosses her arms.
"Are you kidding? Of course he does! It gets his geeky blood pumping. He's boiling mad. He'll probably open up one of those notepad things on his laptop and type up how much he hates me. He'll stay on his little computer for hours and eventually he'll fall asleep."
Carly raises her eyebrows, I have no idea how I can watch a game show and notice she's raising her eyebrows at the same time. Multitasking. I'm very talented.
"And that's a good thing?" Carly asks, obviously confused by what I've just informed her of.
I nod my head. "Yeah. Before he falls asleep I bet he'll make some web designs for iCarly. It'll have to be the last one since all the others will have my head crossed off and stuff."
"I still think you should apologize."
"But I give him inspiration! If anything he should apologize to me for taking my insults for granted."
Carly's hands are now on her hips and I just know she's giving me that 'Samantha-Puckett-you-do-as-I-say-or-else-I'm-going-to-threaten-you' look.
"Don't make me get the squirt bottle."
I roll my eyes. There goes the threat. I stand up, still watching the television. "Okay, okay. I'll go apologize. Jeez, chillax."
"When you apologize, I'll chillax."
I hate when she does that. I turn off the television and finally take my eyes off of it. I pass Carly and open the door. Apologizing, it ain't fun. I hate it already. I close the door and sigh. Stupid Freddie. There his door is, just a few steps away. Ugh. I don't wanna do this. I really don't wanna do this.
I roll my eyes again and step up to the door. I knock.
Alright, there's a few things about this chapter I want you all to know.
The show Everybody Loves Roymund is actually Everybody Loves Raymond in real life. I just switched names.
Also, I have nothing against English (British) people. I actually hope to visit England someday soon. I just thought that's what Sam would think. Just channeling my character, that's all. Hope that didn't offend anyone. Just wanted to make this very clear.
And I'm also very happy about this fanfic. Why? It's going to be my first ever multi-chapter fanfic! Plus it's my first Seddie too. Hope you all enjoy.
Stay tuned. ;)