Standard Disclaimer: I don't own a darn thing.
I used Anne as the host of the show because I like her better than the guy (I forget his name.) This is my first fanfic ever, so it might not be all that great. Please read and review anyway, but I ask that you don't flame. Thanks.
Narrator: The nine people here have all met before and know what it's like to work as a team. Today they will work together as a team for money, then work against each other as round by round a person is voted off as the weakest link!
Anne: Welcome to a special Final Fantasy X version of the Weakest Link! Any of the nine people in the game could win up to a million gil. Only one will leave here rich while the rest will leave with nothing. Turns to contestants This is not a game for slackers..there are no give-me's, no do-overs, no life lines, no hints. You play as a team, but be ready to betray everyone to be rich. The weak of will, the undsteady, the ones who make excuses all will leave with nothing. If you fail, I will tell the whole world you are the weakest link..goodbye. Turns back to audience Some of them will be playing for charity, while the rest chose to keep the money for themselves if they win..rather selfish heroes, aren't they?
Tidus: Hey, I risked my life to save the world, isn't that good enough? I have to give money too?
Auron: Selfish fool…I'll play for charity. As long as I have my weapons, food, whiskey, and clothes, I'll be happy. That's all I need.
Rikku: Yeah..since you wear the same clothes everyday.(Rikku doesn't, because she has different outfits in X-2) Men..how disgusting.
Auron: Glares at Rikku, then smirks. "At least I actually wear clothing."
Tidus: Looks at Rikku and blushes Hey…what's wrong with what she wears..or doesn't wear?
Yuna: Crosses arms Ahem! What was that?
Kimahri: Glares at Tidus
Tidus: o.o' Uh nothing, darling.
Anne: ANYWAY….let's meet the team!
Seymour: Seymour, 25, Maester from Guado…and why do I feel left out of this 'team'?
Wakka: Probably because you're our enemy, ya? The rest of us all work together…so you're the odd one out, Seymour.
Seymour: Glares at Wakka You're one to talk about being 'odd'…
Anne: Getting annoyed Please continue..or are you already stumped on what to do?
Wakka: Oh, eheh, sorry..I'm Wakka, age 24, and Retired blitzball player and captain from Besaid.
Anne: Thank you..was that so hard?
Wakka: Kinda..
Lulu: Rolls eyes Fool..
Auron: Auron..35..-
Tidus: Cuts him off Don't you mean 85, old man?
Auron: Glares at Tidus as he takes out Masamune Crowd gasps, Anne is unphased Don't make me cut that tongue off, boy..
Tidus: Oo' Shuts up
Kimahri: Grins and gives thumbs up to Auron
Auron: Hmph…as I was saying…35…I'm a Legendary Guardian…and it's none of your business where the hell I'm from. Puts Masamune away
Anne: Smirks
Lulu: Grins slightly Lulu, 22, Guardian from Besaid..
Men from audience: Clap and whistle
Married men from audience: Get hit by their wives
Lulu: Gets ready to use firaga You boys want to join me for a barbecue?
Single men from audience: Quickly shut up
Wakka: Ya, because she's taken.
Lulu: Not by you.
Wakka: Blinks, surprised Eh? Who then?
Lulu: Well..no one as of yet…but I'm in between two possibilities.
Auron/Jecht: Grin
Wakka: Crosses arms and pouts
Lulu: Sorry Wakka…but I want a manly man, not a girly man.
Wakka: Stomps feet and keeps pouting But I-
Jecht: Grins proudly and interrupts Jecht, aka Sin…age is none of your business..and I'm the best blitzball player ever, from Zanarkand. Smiles to Lulu, smirks to Wakka And I'm one of the two possibilities Lulu was referring to.
Lulu: Keep being so cocky and you won't be..
Jecht: Huh? What did you say about my cock?
Kimahri: Swings tail back and forth slowly as he crosses his arms Ahem..Me Kimahri..25, Guardian of Yuna..anyone touch her, Kimahri eat you for lunch. ..Kimahri from Gagazet.
Rikku: Is all hyper HI! I'm Rikku, the youngest, prettiest one here…age 15. I'm a thief and from HOME.
Jecht: Heh…and I saw you steal a wallet from that old guy out in row three..
Tidus: Who, Auron?
Auron: Glares again
Rikku: Me? Uhh…I didn't steal anything! Tries to change subject Uhh.. Looks at Kimahri I like your fur..can I pet you?
Kimahri: This not no petting zoo..
Lulu: Aww…how cute…Rikku wants to pet the Kitteh..
Kimahri: ' Kimahri not Kitteh…Kimahri Ronso.
Lulu: You look like a Kitteh, so I will call you one.
Anne: Sometime tonight…please..
Yuna: I'm Yuna, 17, high summoner from Besaid.
Tidus: Tidus, 17, I am the world's best blitzer…Yuna's Guardian and hot boyfriend, and I'm from Zanarkand. Go Abes!
Anne: Finally..now for the rules. The object of the game is to answer the most questions corre-
Jecht: Cuts off Anne Yeah yeah yeah…we know the rules. Let's just get this thing over with so I can win already.."
Anne: This isn't a blitzball game, Jecht. You actually have to know something besides how to kick a ball in order to win this game. That should count you out.
Jecht: Hey!
Anne: Since you all know the rules, we'll start. The first round lasts for two and a half minutes. The order you're playing in was randomly selected before the show. We'll start with the player in the first position. Seymour, that's you. Let's play…the weakest link! Seymour…Using lancet, what ability can be learned from a bomb?
Seymour: self destruct. Kimahri used it on me once…
Anne: Correct…and I'm sure you deserved it. Wakka, The three extra aeons you can acquire are Anima, Yojimbo, and who?
Wakka: Thinks hard Uh…Odin?
Yuna: Smacks self in face Didn't you pay any attention on my pilgrimage!
Wakka: Not really..
Anne: Wrong…Magus sisters. Turns to Auron Mr. Badass, From what myth is Tidus' legendary weapon from?
Auron: Smirks Legendary Irish sword..capable of consuming everything.
Anne: Correct. Lulu, what is the name of Tidus' legendary weapon?
Lulu: Caladbolg..and I'll bet he didn't even know the name of it.
Tidus: Did too!
Lulu: Yeah, but can you spell it?
Tidus: Uhh…c-a…tt…le..b-
Anne: Correct, Lulu. Ignores Tidus Jecht..
Jecht: Bank!
Anne: What is the Al Bhed phrase 'Vehym Vyhdyco Q' translated to in English?
Jecht: Thinks Crap..no, wait!
Anne: Wrong! Final Fantasy X..
Jecht: Crap wasn't my answer!
Anne: Too bad, hot shot. You said it, so that was your answer. Kimahri…what is the treasure you receive for using the destruction sphere in the Zanarkand cloister of trials?
Kimahri: Sways tail Magistral Rod…me pay attention, Yuna.
Yuna: That's because you're a good Guardian.
Anne: Correct, Kitt-I mean Kimahri! Rikku…what is Seymour's final form in the last battle with him?
Rikku: Oooo I know I know, it's Seymour Omnis! Can't forget something so hideous. I had fun kicking his butt then..
Seymour: Stupid little girl..
Rikku: Shut up, fruitcake!
Anne: Correct Rikku! Yuna..whose weapon is the Excalibur?
Yuna: Tidus… Glares at Tidus, still mad that he was staring at Rikku earlier
Anne: Correct! Tidus.. What is the original creature which is underwater, in the monster arena called?
Tidus: Shinryu! It kicked my butt!
Anne: I'm sure it did..
Auron: Hmph..that's because you're a pansy.
Anne: That is correct, Tidus…and I think your assumption is correct as well, Sir Auron. Seymour..
Seymour: Bank!
Anne: Maester Seymour, how many times do you have to use sword play before Tidus can learn blitz ace?
Seymour: Stumped Uh…uh…ten?
Anne: No, try eighty. Wakka…how many times does blitz ace hit if it is successful?
Wakka: Uh…eighty ya?
Anne: No, I would feel sorry for that poor mangled monster. It's five times. Auron..What is the Ronso Maestor's first name?
Auron: Kelk.
Anne: Correct! Lulu..
Lulu: Bank!
Anne: Wha- Sounds play and lights flash Time is up, I cannot complete the question. That was better than most teams I've seen here, but still pathetic. Who has a hot-air filled blitzball for a brain? Let's find out as the players vote off the first weakest link!
Narrator: Statistically, Auron was the strongest link in the first round. Wakka was obviously the weakest link because he's a moron. Will the votes follow the statistics?
Anna: Time's up. Voting is over. Let's see who was voted the weakest link.
Seymour: Wakka
Wakka: Auron
Auron: Glares Wakka
Lulu: The pathetic loser whom I will never date…Wakka
Jecht: Heh, and he thinks he's good at blitzball…Wakka
Kimahri: Kimahri votes for Wakka
Rikku: Ummm…Wakka
Wakka: Getting irritated What is this? Ya'll had this planned didn't you?
Yuna: Wakka..
Tidus: Definatly Wakka
Wakka: Aw man, not fair ya?
Anne: Looks at Auron Auron.
Auron: Anne.
Anne: Are you single?
Auron: Yes but sorry Anne, you're not my type.
Anne: Keeps same expression Do you think your being dead has anything to do with it?
Auron: Not at all…at least my dead corpse doesn't reek like Seymour's does.
Seymour: Hey!
Tidus: How would you know, old man? Been sniffing him lately? Getting a little close with Seymour?
Auron: No of course not, Tidus..no need to get defensive. I wouldn't dream of stealing your man..but his stench can be smelled throughout the room. Anyway…I just haven't found the right woman yet, Anne.
Anne: Do you think Lulu is the right woman?
Auron: Possibly..
Anne: Why did you vote for Wakka? Afraid he will steal your chances of being with her?
Auron: laughs Not hardly. Heck, Tidus would stand more of a chance to be with Lulu than Wakka would. I voted for Wakka because he's an idiot and cost us the most money. Sorry, Wakka.
Anne: Kimahri, you're awfully quiet.
Kimahri: Kimahri only speak when needed.
Anne: Why did you vote for Wakka?
Kimahri: Because Wakka dumdumb…he make us lose easy money. He have to go. Good blitzer, strong fighter, but not smart.
Anne: Wakka….you voted for Auron. You do know that he was the STRONGEST link this round, right?
Wakka: Uhhh…yeah, of course I did! I just don't like him moving in on my territory and stealing my woman, ya?
Lulu: Never was yours, never will be..
Anne: Well, it has been decided. Wakka..with 8 votes, you ARE the weakest link! Goodbye!
Wakka: Aw man… Takes the walk of shame Backstage Eight votes…EIGHT VOTES! It's a conspiracy I tell ya! They must've planned to vote me off from the start, ya? And that Anne gal…she said some pretty harsh things to me too.. She must be trying to deny the fact that she has the hots for me. Auron or Jecht can have Lu, I'm taking Anne! Raaawwwrr!
Bleh, ok I know this kinda sucks, but it is my first fanfic ever. If anyone likes it, I might continue. Please review..I'll accept constructive criticism but no flaming, please.