A Delayed Happily Ever After
He wasn't going to show.
That was becoming clearer with every second that passed. It shouldn't have been a complete surprise. That little thought had been lurking in the back of her mind since they'd started this game seven years earlier. Sooner or later he'd decide that he'd had enough of waiting and move on. Expecting it didn't make it hurt any less.
Maybe she should have pressed harder on Dawn to come. At least then she'd have someone to talk to, someone to help deal with the mind-numbing heartbreak. Dawn's reasoning echoed through her mind. "We've made our peace but it'll never be like it was. I'm glad someone still talks to him, though. Knowing he's still out there, doing whatever it is he does, it's enough." She had made her peace with him, but would knowing he was still in the world be enough?
Ignoring the stares from the bar's other patrons, she signaled the waitress for another beer and kept one eye trained on the entrance. What ever made her think he'd wait? It'd only been seven years, but what were a handful of years when you had forever? Thanks to Willow's resurrection spell, that's exactly what they were supposed to have. Have had. Whatever.
She was saved from her maudlin thoughts by a flash of commotion at the back. A heavy sigh blew through her lips. Well, something to slay would take her mind off of...
Him. Speak of the devil. Hair mussed, jacket dusty, left eye swollen but oh god, he was there. She slumped back onto the scarred stool as panic gave way to relief.
"'Lo, pet."
"Hey."
Her eyes fluttered shut and warm tears were blinked back before they could spill down her cheeks. A self-deprecating smile tugged at the corners of her lips. Let the lame conversation begin.
"How've you been?"
"Fine. Busy. Dawn says hi. You?"
"Busy."
Yup. Definitely lame. We've made ignoring the big dancing elephant an art form.
"This - us - is crazy." She picked at the beer bottle's soggy label, unwilling to meet his eyes. "What are we doing here?"
"Tryin' to decide if it's the right time." He leaned forward to cover her hands with his then waited until he had her complete attention. "If it's not, then we'll try again next year."
Next year. Hah. They'd been singing that tune far too long. It was in this exact bar they'd met up after the apocalypse-that-wasn't in LA. The conversation had been lame then, too. She'd wanted to fall into his arms but there'd been too much unresolved. Too much pain, hiding, denial, anger, self-doubt and way too much interference. No you don't, but thanks for saying it. That was the kicker.
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask if there would be a next year. She wasn't thrilled with the prospect of going through a repeat of this meeting. Three hundred and sixty four days of anticipation, of telling herself that this time would be different, only to get there and simply exchange pleasantries. How was she supposed to be able to tell if it was the right time?
"It'll feel good. No fireworks, no bells ringing, just... you'll feel it."
She hadn't realized she'd asked the question aloud until he answered. She squeezed his fingers gently but made no move to shake free of his grip. That was something, right? She was willing to hold his hands in public without feeling the slightest bit self-conscious. A wave of shame washes over her. Not for holding his hand now but for all the times she pushed him away. "I'm sorry."
"For what, kitten?"
I could never be your girl! Angry words from a bitter time played through her memory. "For everything. For that year. For afterwards."
"'S all forgotten now." He downs the remainder of her beer and pushes back from the table. He knows this routine by heart. Greetings then apologies then see you next year. It hurts to be always so close but never close enough. Best thing to do is get it over with and pray that next year's meeting goes better. "It was good seeing you, Slayer."
"Hey." She grabs his hand before he can walk away. This, she knows with absolute certainty, is wrong and it all makes sense. The way her stomach clenches when he leaves, the way her heart aches at the thought of not seeing him for another year. It's the right time. Maybe it always has been. "I meant it, you know. I still do."
A small smile brightens his face. He knows exactly what she means. "'S good to know."
"D-do you?"
His brows furrow in consternation. "Can't believe you even have to ask anymore. Always will." He presses a soft kiss on her forehead before stepping back. "See you next year, pet?"
"No."
The crestfallen look on his face is all she needs to assure herself that it's definitely way past time. She grins cheekily and tucks herself under his arm. "You'll be seeing me a lot sooner than that."