A/N: I was a little hesitant to write this b/c it's probably the most au thing I've ever wrote (not that it's really au). I don't know how the show is going to deal with this but I really hope it does deal with it and it does something along these lines. I always pictured these two being friends. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
lessthanthree
Katie

He could see it. He could see it in her eyes. Not all the time. Sometimes she looked happy and relaxed and content hand in hand with the girl she loved, surrounded by a group of friends that despite her flaws, still loved her and cared for her. He suspected that it was some of those flaws that made her friends love her even more. She was certainly one of a kind. Sometimes though, that light disappeared. Her eyes looked eerily dead and unfocused and lost. He recognized it quickly. He had seen it in Kurt. He had seen it in himself. She was crying out for help, silently though, because she knew there was no one there. Of course she had her friends and her girlfriend but Blaine could see that the one person that Santana truly needed right now had abandoned her.

"Hey Santana, wait up."

"I don't know where your porcelain doll is, hobbit."

"No, I wanted to ask you something."

"Make it quick, preppy, I gotta get to class. Not that I really care about grammar and punctuation or whatever the hell it is we're learning in English but I get to sit beside Britt, get in a little under-the-desk-action, if you know what I mean."

"That's really disturbing. Ummm, but anyways I was wondering if you wanted to go get coffee with me. I was thinking about going now, I have a spare, but whenever works for you is fine."

"Look, Hobbit, I'm flattered that you would choose me to 'experiment' with but A: I'm over fooling around with boys, B: I may be a bitch but I still couldn't do that to the unicorn, and C: you're short, your hair is like an oil slick, and your too short pants, hideous bowties, and big round doe eyes make it look like mommy dressed up her little man for his first day of kindergarden and that just makes me feel like a pedophile."

"Well, that's kinda what I wanted to talk about actually."

"What, that you're a pedophile?"

"No, and would you stop saying that word, it's just gross. I wanted to talk about my parents. They haven't been the most accepting of everything and I get the feeling that you're kinda facing the same thing."

"My parents are cool with it."

"Yeah, you told us that but you never told us how things with your Abuela went."

"Yeah, well, that's because it's none of your business."

"So I take it it didn't go well."

"She told me to get out of her house and that she never wanted to see me again."

"Coffee?"

"Yeah, ok, just let me text Britt."

The drive was silent. Blaine could tell that she was trying to hold back tears. He didn't blame her; he knew he would have been emotional too. He had been. Blaine supposed that there wasn't really a scale to these types of things. It was hard to say whose situation was worse because everybody was different but at least his parents had never kicked him out.

After getting their drinks they took a seat in the corner. Blaine had thought about sitting at his and Kurt's table, he had instinctively checked to see if it was available when they had walked in and it had been. It didn't feel right without Kurt though. Yeah, Santana was a friend and yeah, it was just a table and chairs and yeah, there were lots of other customers who sat there but for some reason he felt like he would be destroying something sacred. There weren't too many sacred things left in his life and he knew all too well what it felt like to have them tainted. Maybe it was stupid but that's just the way it was.

There was an awkward silence when they initially sat. Blaine was so used to the head cheerleader's endless jabs that it was odd for him to see her look so unsure of what to say. It made sense to him; this was obviously something she was insecure about but he would still take a weeks' worth of her insults than to see her so dejected. He had actually come to like her insults in a weird way. They were something innately Santana and hearing her lay into him had kind of made him feel accepted, part of the group, because she laid into everyone.

"You didn't have to pay you know."

"Ah, but I didn't. My parents did. They give me food, shelter, and access to credit cards and in return I stay out of their hair. There is a mutual understanding that the other doesn't exist."

"That sounds like a dream."

"It definitely has its perks."

"I bet you hate it though, don't you? Cause you're straight outta an after-school-special and you need love and affection to grow."

"Sounds pretty accurate. Look when I was younger I had a pretty perfect life. My parents genuinely loved me and I genuinely loved them back. I was their pride and joy. I was cute and smart and personable and polite and I was paraded around dinner parties and the country club like every cliché you've ever heard of. I loved it though. Kurt says I'm an attention whore and I think he's right. We spent time together as a family too. We did home-made pizza and a movie on Friday nights and on Saturday we had game night. Mom hated Monopoly; she always insisted that dad and I were ganging up on her."

"Ok, that is the gayest thing I've ever heard."

"Yeah, well, keep in mind that I was ten. Anyways, that all ended when I came out. I was twelve and I had honestly thought that they would be cool with it. They loved me. I was their little prince. My dad got right up in my face and told me that no son of his was ever going to be a fag and then he slapped me. He hasn't hit me since but it still hurts. I remember spending that night sitting on bed, crying into my teddy bear feeling helpless and lost because everything I had ever known had just been taken away. We don't really speak anymore. Over the years there have been a few conversations or activities geared towards straightening me out but honestly, I might as well just be the tenant in the spare room."

"I never would have guessed. You just seem so perfect."

"Maybe now it seems that way but I've had four years to deal with this. I think I keep striving to be perfect because it's all I've ever known. Sometimes I catch myself trying to be perfect for them but most of the time it's just for me. Recently it's become a lot about Kurt. But I also don't really like to talk about it so if it looks like everything is sunshine and rainbows people tend not to ask."

"Do your parents know about Kurt?"

"No. That was a whole new low in my life. I'm absolutely in love with him and my mom and dad don't even know he exists. I know it's for the best but from an outsiders perspective it just looks like I'm ashamed of him and that is so far from the truth it's not even funny."

"Do you think you'll ever tell them?"

"No. Maybe when we get married, we'll send them an invitation but I just don't see how them knowing is going to help anything."

"How did you deal with that? I mean, my Abuela practically raised me. She was more like a mom than a grandma and, god, you know I looked up to her. I always thought that she was so strong and independent and I wanted to be just like her. She was my hero."

"My dad used to be my hero too, I mean, so was Batman and Aladdin but he was definitely top three."

"I can't believe your hero was a freakin Disney prince and parents didn't know you were gay."

"I suppose they just thought I was one of those boys that actually had feelings….. She is living up to all of your favorite traits. Staying strong to what she believes in. I mean, I know it's a sucky excuse but she did grow up in a different time and a different place, with different values. You can still hold onto her strength if you need to but I think you just need to start finding other people to turn to. Find a new hero."

"It's not that easy. I thought she would be there for me for everything."

"I know, trust me I know. It feels like your whole life has been a lie. You feel disgusted with yourself because this person that you used to live up to is completely disgusted with you. And now that you're facing your lowest point, there is no guiding path anymore. You feel alone and defeated and hopeless and life just seems like a burden now because you used to always see it one way but now it's completely upside down. It doesn't mean it's over though. I know you can do it. I managed and I don't have half your strength…or height."

"You know, I kinda like you Blaine Warbler….Don't tell anyone I said that."

"My lips are sealed. Should we head back?"

"Yeah, ok."

The car ride back to McKinley remained silent too but it was a little more comfortable this time. Santana looked a little more relaxed and content as she gazed out the window. He wasn't going to kid himself. He knew this little coffee date wouldn't make it all better. He still hadn't found something in his life to make it all better. Hopefully it would help though. That's all he wanted, to help.