Upon hearing the news about Edward Herrmann tonight, I felt compelled to write this.
It was standing room only at the Gilmore house that afternoon, with all of Hartford society milling around with drinks and hors d'oeuvers. It seemed that everyone who had ever known Richard Gilmore had come to pay their respects at the funeral and now most of them were at his home, sharing their condolences with Emily and sharing stories. Over in a corner, Lorelai and Rory had managed to find an empty footstool to share, removing themselves from the fray for a moment after being knee deep in funeral preparations for most of the week.
"Where's Luke?" Rory asked as she stared blankly into the room, her glass of soda sitting ignored in her lap.
"He took Susanna upstairs for a few minutes. She was starting to get that meltdown look on her face, so he thought he'd get her away from the crowd."
"Long day for a 5-year-old," Rory commented.
"Long day for all of us," Lorelai replied, squeezing Rory's shoulders.
"Is Grandma ever going to sit down? I haven't seen her stay in in spot for more than 30 seconds since we got back to the house."
"Managing the help and making the rounds to everyone is what keeps her distracted during these things," Lorelai said with experience. "She'll sit down once everyone has left."
"She should eat something—I haven't seen her eat anything in days," Rory said with concern.
"I tried handing her a plate earlier and she managed to walk away without taking it. I'll try again in awhile."
"You've been great with her, by the way," Rory said. "Even during her worst Emily moments you've been able to calm her down."
"I can't pretend to know what it's like to lose the man you've been married to for almost three-quarters of your life," Lorelai replied. "Luke and I have only been married for 6 years and if something happened to him I'd have trouble just getting out of bed, so I think she's doing pretty well."
"Do you think she'll be OK? I mean, once all of the planning and arranging is over, do you think she'll be OK here alone?"
"I was trying to decide last night if she'll redecorate the whole house or if she'll never redecorate again," Lorelai began. "Your grandmother is excellent at staying busy and I've already talked to a couple of her fellow DAR members and asked them to let me know if she starts missing meetings or avoiding events. Plus Luke and I will keep up Friday Night Dinners. But I'm sure it will be hard for a long time."
"I can't imagine coming to this house without Grandpa here. Even when he was traveling a lot, he was always still kind of here, you know?" Rory said as her eyes filled with tears.
"I know, sweets. I keep expecting him to come walking out of his study, with Mom giving him a hard time about being late to the party," Lorelai replied with a watery smile.
"How are you doing?" Rory asked.
"Oh, just swell," Lorelai said looking down, her trademark wit momentarily failing her.
"I know things were always kind of complicated with you and Grandpa, but it seemed like things had been good for awhile, right?"
"Yeah, they had been. When you left to cover the Obama campaign after graduation we kind of had to figure out our relationship again without you always being there as a buffer. I think he finally accepted the life I created for myself in Stars Hollow as being an acceptable alternative to what his plans had been for me. Then he was so great with Luke when we got back together …"
"His speech at your wedding was so sweet," Rory interrupted.
"Yeah, it was," Lorelai said with a bittersweet smile. "And of course Susanna being born was the ultimate healer. Not that we didn't ever argue or disagree, but things had been good for awhile."
"Good, that's good," Rory replied. "It seemed like things were good, but I'm not around as much as I used to be and I know you don't always tell me about your arguments with Grandma and Grandpa …"
"We certainly didn't have the perfect father-daughter relationship, but it was better than it had been in a long time, I promise."
"I wish I was married already," Rory interjected after a moment of silence.
"Huh? Married? To who?" Lorelai asked, confused after being lost in her own thoughts.
"I don't know who, but at least Grandpa could have been there. I never thought I'd get married without him being there," Rory said as she strangled a sob. "Weird thing to be thinking about right now, I know."
"Not weird at all. But to tell you the truth, I think he was proud that you focused on your career first. At last year's Christmas party I heard him pointing you out to someone and they asked if you were married and he said you were too busy with the New York Times to be worried about getting married yet," Lorelai replied. "And when that day comes, you know he'll be there just waiting to strike down your husband-to-be if he screws anything up."
"I'll make sure all future boyfriends know they're always at risk of being struck by lightning."
"Good way to weed out the bad ones."
"Should we get back to the crowd?" Rory asked.
"We can sit a few more minutes," Lorelai countered.
They both sat in silence, listening to the hum of the crowd against Richard's records playing in the background as they prepared themselves to mingle and accept condolences once again.
"I miss him," Rory said, leaning her head against her mother's shoulder as she used to when she was upset as a little girl.
"I miss him, too," Lorelai replied, tears escaping her eyes as she put her head on top of her daughter's and tried to take her pain away.