AN: Pointless. Plotless. Gift for sev. Standard disclaimers apply.
"So what's it like?"
Quistis sighed, feeling her eyebrow twitch. He just wasn't going to leave her alone, was he? "Zell," she began carefully, "I don't think it's quite the same -"
"Aww, c'mon, it's not like you gotta do it or anything," he whined, trying to fix her under a watering, puppy-dog-eyed stare. That tended to work better when Selphie did it, mostly because the spunky girl oozed cuteness from every pore. When Zell did it, words like "constipated" and "laxative" came to mind.
"Zell, leave it," she warned him tersely, looking back down to her desk. Mounds of paperwork stared back up at her unappealingly. Boring as it was, however, it held more charm than the blonde who was currently hanging over her desk - and her shoulder - trying to ply her for advice. Quistis did her best to ignore him and applied herself diligently to her job.
Zell didn't move. Quistis could smell the faint, rather unappealing scent of that afternoon's hot dog lunch special on his breath. Her eyebrow twitched involuntarily, and she almost felt Zell's grin.
"So you'll help?" he asked, prodding her with a gloved finger. "'Cause I saw that. I'm not goin' away 'till you tell me."
Sighing in frustration, Quistis slammed her pencil onto the desk and turned to face Zell fully. "Why in Hyne's name are you asking me to explain to you what kissing feels like?" she finally spat out, exasperated. "Why don't you ask someone like... like... Irvine, or Rinoa?"
Zell straightened slightly, a sheepish smile on his face. "'Cause if I ask Irvine, he might try an' demonstrate..."
"And why would that be a bad thing?" Quistis fired back immediately, causing a look of horror to cross Zell's face as he held up his hands defensively.
"Hey man! Irvine'll kiss anythin' that moves, and I don't swing that way!"
Quistis sighed and rolled her eyes - Zell did have her on that point. Asking Irvine for education on the subject of kissing was practically an open invitation to trouble. "Then why not ask Rinoa?" she continued after a moment of silence. "She could help you just as well. She certainly has enough experience with Squall," Quistis trailed off with a sour mutter.
Zell frowned. "But Rinoa's a girl!" He watched Quistis' back stiffen, and realized belatedly that it was probably the wrong thing to say.
"Out. Now." Quistis managed to spit out between her clenched teeth.
Zell blanched at her tone. "I, uh, I didn't mean to say that you're not a -"
Quistis turned back to her desk with a glare that was threatening to cause the paperwork there to spontaneously combust. "Quit while you're behind, Zell." She stared furiously at the worksheets full of tiny print, small numbers and neatly scribbled notes. So what if she wasn't as alluringly playful as Rinoa, or bubblingly cute as Selphie? Zell was known to be particularly dense. It wasn't as if he'd purposefully forgotten that she could have her feminine moments, too. Besides, it wasn't like she needed Zell, of all people, to justify her femininity. Quistis knew she was an attractive woman, right? That's why the Trepies existed, wasn't it? Zell's careless mouth never did properly connect to his brain - if he had one at all - so she knew anything he said really shouldn't bother her at all. It was best to take him for exactly what he was - an annoying fly, buzzing around her office. That was why you were supposed to kill flies, though. Sometimes they bit. Quistis felt a foreign pressure gathering behind her eyes, and she blinked involuntarily.
"Sorry," Zell mumbled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. Mentally, he gave himself a good kick. Everybody knew Quistis was really sensitive about stuff like that.
Quistis' pencil stilled and her eyes slid closed. Zell Dincht was an idiot, and there was absolutely no way she was going to cry in front of him. "Will you just leave so I can concentrate on my work?" she asked quietly, not bothering to look at him.
A heavy silence filled the office, and for a moment Quistis wondered if Zell had beat a stealthy retreat. Then she heard footsteps, and once again the slightly sour smell of old hot dogs filled her nostrils. Her eyes flew open just in time to see Zell's face press against hers, his lips puckered almost comically.
"ZELL!" she tried to scream. Unfortunately, her reaction came a second too late and resulted in, what was in Quistis' opinion, the worst of all possible scenarios - an open mouthed kiss. A clumsy, sloppy, hot-dog-scented open mouthed kiss. Quistis had always shied away from the idea of physical intimacy; a little light kissing, even a little heavy petting, those were nothing new to her. There was something a little too rawly intimate and disturbing about thrusting one's tongue into another person's mouth. She'd been hoping to put off that experience for as long as possible, and if at all, only with someone who she was certain was right for her. Selphie and Rinoa teased her mercilessly about it, but Quistis had stuck to her convictions adamantly.
A lot of good that did her now - all that resolve and 'saving up' for her first open-mouthed kiss was gone, thrown out the window, all because of a stupid mistake. With Zell. She let out a small groan of discontent as he finally pulled away, a hot blush gracing his cheeks as he swiped the back of a hand over his now-sticky, lip-gloss-ornamented mouth.
"Wow," Zell finally managed to say, his eyes bulging. "That was better than I thought it'd be," he mumbled almost incoherently, still staring at her. Originally, he'd only meant to give her a quick, friendly peck on the lips, both to answer his own question and to reassure her that she wasn't just some bookworm recluse. He thought it'd be a nice, innocent way of reminding her that she was a girl, too. A pretty girl, even. Actually, more than pretty, now that he thought about it. Those glasses were kind of hot, and there was something to be said for a woman in uniform. What really surprised him the most, however, was the throaty noise of protest she had made when they separated. She wanted him. Him!
Hot damn, Quistis was sexy. And he, Zell Dincht, had just kissed her. Already, all thoughts of strategizing his latest attempts to impress that library girl were melting away into one much more pressing, immediate goal - how to get into contact with Quistis' lips again, preferably as soon as possible.
Quistis blinked, then dropped her forehead into a palm. Wonderful, she could just see another Trepie in the making. She tensed instinctively as she saw him reach for her again, and quickly tried to head him off before he could make another advance. "Zell, I think you'd better leave," she mumbled, trying to ignore the blush that was rising to her cheeks. "I'm sure you'll agree that this was all just a misunderstanding, so let's forget this little incident ever happened and never speak of it again."
Another tense silence filled the office, and Quistis looked up. Then she winced. Zell had the appearance of a puppy, again. A kicked one this time, though, and Quistis felt suspiciously like the nasty man with the boot. He looked like she had felt just moments before that ill-fated kiss, in fact.
"Y'mean... you really don't like me?" he asked sorrowfully, and Quistis bit her lip uncertainly.
Well... maybe the kiss wasn't all that bad. She snuck another glance at Zell, who was cracking his knuckles nervously and now looking busily at almost anything except her. Had she really managed to fluster him that much with one little accidental kiss? It was kind of ...
... flattering.
Clearing her throat, Quistis ignored Zell and grasped her pencil once more, straightening the papers on her desk. "The next time you want to come barging in here and ask these ridiculous questions, brush your teeth first," she said simply. She didn't look up from her paperwork again, but he could see the faint traces of a blush staining her cheeks.
Zell stared at her, his mouth half-open with surprise. "Uh... alright," he mumbled numbly, turning and walking almost blindly out of her office. As soon as the door shut behind him, he blinked a few times. Then a slow grin spread over his face as he calculated the speed at which he could reach the nearest tube of toothpaste.